Feeling Down

Discussion in 'Support' started by Penelope33, Mar 15, 2014.

tinnitus forum
    1. Penelope33
      Torn

      Penelope33 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      October 2013
      It's been a while since I posted on here. I have been doing well, getting on with life, blocking out the noise with music etc.... But today, it's driving me mad. Not just the noise, but the idiotic knowledge that I caused it all. I feel ashamed and angry with myself for mastubating over and over which caused the tinnitus in one ear, and then the other.... It's almost laughable, silly, amusing .... I feel like the most stupid woman in the whole world. I only did it to make me feel a bit better, when depressed. And now I'm left like this. What a fool I am . Right now I hate myself . I'm drinking a Gin at breakfast, smoking, and feeling generally like shit. Sorry to rant. No one else wants to listen or can understand. I feel so lonely in this.
       
      • Hug Hug x 4
    2. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      Masturbation does not cause tinnitus...did you listen to excessively loud music while doing it?
       
    3. Penelope33
      Torn

      Penelope33 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      October 2013
      It did in my case , trust me. It must have been the way I did it and the amount that caused severe high blood p or something. No loud music no. I literally made my ears feel stuffed up then the t began.
       
    4. citigirl13
      Dreaming

      citigirl13 Member

      Location:
      North Yorkshire, England
      Tinnitus Since:
      17/1/14
      Please don't blame yourself. Who could ever have known that masturbation could cause T? I think that there are some people who are prone to T, and something will set it off. Hopefully it will go again. Try to avoid being anxious and focus on the good things in life. Who says it won't go again?
       
      • Informative Informative x 1
    5. Penelope33
      Torn

      Penelope33 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      October 2013
      Thanks Citigirl13,
      It's a tough pill to swallow I guess that something like that could cause it but yes you're right maybe some are just prone to it more . It's the never ending relentless noise I'm struggling with. And the thought it'll be with me for life. :-(
       
    6. Sound Wave
      Curious

      Sound Wave Member Benefactor Team Tech

      Location:
      Finland
      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Probably headphones
      I highly doubt masturbation caused your T. What about muscle related issues, like strong tensening of your neck & facial muscles when doing it? Or stress and psychological issues? Both of these can cause T to start.

      About blaming yourself, that I can relate to. I may have caused my T with a lot of headphone listening. I was (am?) an audiophile with high quality headphone gear and I bought new headphones, which I then listened a lot happily. Sad in a way that a dear hobby could cause an illness like T...
       
    7. citigirl13
      Dreaming

      citigirl13 Member

      Location:
      North Yorkshire, England
      Tinnitus Since:
      17/1/14
      Unfortunately T can be caused by a number of reasons, some that you would never expect. The noise is hard to deal with. How long have you had it? How loud is it e.g. Can you hear it above tv or when you're outside? I think there have to be people who are more prone to T - people can go to dozens of concerts and never have an issue.

      Perhaps you should talk to a therapist if you aren't already? Or maybe you are just having a bad day - we all do. I have fluid in my ears which causes headaches, which I am having now. Some days T is just too much to deal with. Hang in there! Things will get better.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    8. Sorry to hear of your troubles. Perhaps look into treatment for your depression, if you don't like meds, than maybe therapy. I am surprised to hear of what you think caused your T, however another poster said that their T gets louder with masturbation, so maybe there is a connection..but I would think it be more muscular..either way having T sucks. I hope you find away to acceptance, doesn't matter how you got it, not your fault, and than focus on treating it. Be well :)
       
    9. here2help

      here2help Member

      Penelope, I recall someone in the community of tinnitus sufferers who was upset with himself for taking a single pill which he was convinced had caused his tinnitus. As time passed, and he was unable to forgive himself, it was clear there were two things keeping him tied to his tinnitus: the tinnitus itself (which bothered him a lot) and the blame he believed he deserved for causing it (which made things much worse).

      The shame, anger and self-hatred you feel is keeping tinnitus front-and-center in your mind. It is possible that if you can process and put these difficult feelings in perspective, your tinnitus will stop feeling like “a never ending relentless noise.”

      Have you thought about talking to a therapist about your feelings of self-blame? The thing that stood out most to me about what your wrote is how alone you feel and how no one else wants to listen or can understand. I think you should take these feelings seriously and talk to a professional who will listen and try to understand you.

      here2help
       
      • Agree Agree x 2
    10. Penelope33
      Torn

      Penelope33 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      October 2013
      Thanks everyone, for advice...
      I can hear it over the tv but not the radio so try to have that on lots. Can't hear it when outside so try to get out lots. I'm finding relaxing the hardest though. And sleep...
      I'm having cbt, for the neg thoughts I have about my journey to this tinnitus. It's helping my thoughts for sure. but the noise is still so loud ! :-(
       
    11. Erlend
      Question it

      Erlend Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Scandinavia
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2013
      I got Tinnitus from an extremely loud "party-bus", which is a post graduation tradition where I live.

      In order to be allowed on this bus, I had to bring a girl. I re-read the conversation I had with this girl may 2013. She said no 3 times, before I was finally able to convince her. As a "last solution".

      Fucking hell....
       
      • Funny Funny x 1
    12. Jeff M.
      Cowabunga

      Jeff M. Member Benefactor

      Location:
      La Jolla, CA
      Tinnitus Since:
      Oct. 2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Idiopathic
      Penelope,

      You are not "alone in this"!! All of us responding to you completely know what you are going through!! It totally sucks, I know!! And it doesn't matter how you developed T. You have it so you just need to figure out how to move on with life. I agree with the others who recommended that you consult a therapist. I did (and still see him occasionally!). BIG help!! Really helped me when I was in "The Pit". He also got me stabilized on some meds that really helped my depression, anxiety and overall feeling of dread.

      My T is crazy loud and high pitch, it hasn't changed but I have (and continue to). You will too!!! You are going to get through this girl!! In know it's maybe cliche', but one day at a time!! Don't worry about tomorrow, get through today! Get your sleep on, get some exercise, stay connected and don't withdraw!! I hope you find some relief soon and some joy!! :):):)
       
    13. Sound Wave
      Curious

      Sound Wave Member Benefactor Team Tech

      Location:
      Finland
      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Probably headphones
      Relaxing is indeed hard. I've been there myself. But it is crucial to get your body to relax. It affects everything. Try measuring your heart beat. If it is up all the time, you must get it down. My trick was to take a normal sports heart rate monitor and watch it as I was breathing in and out. With a proper breathing technique, you can use this is as a biofeedback tool to lower your heart rate -> body relaxes -> mind relaxes. Typically it's SLOW breaths in with your belly and longer breaths out. Laying on a spike mat also relaxes my body nicely.
       
    14. Cicada_Ears
      Bookworm

      Cicada_Ears Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      6/2013
      I almost lost my job this week because my T makes me so aggressive. I could have been there with you having gin for breakfast. Also, I'm taking Chantix trying to stop smoking. Just know you are not alone.
       
      • Winner Winner x 1
    15. Puddytat
      Lonely

      Puddytat Member

      Location:
      Burton- upon- Trent, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2014
      Does anyone else have buzzing that gets louder when the TV is on? I'm really new to all this and had a really bad day today. I think my T is loud but I don't know what everyone else's is like. I hear it easily over the TV. Does that mean it's loud? I will never cope with this.....frightened and crying now.
       
    16. cullenbohannon
      Thinking

      cullenbohannon Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      1/2014
      Mine does a bit. It did more so in the beginning and has died down a bit. Be patient and give it time
       
    17. jewellanne1010

      jewellanne1010 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/1999
      Hang in there my T sounds like a slight buzzing along with intermittent bells. I can hear it over everything. I listen to nature sounds and tell myself the bells are part of the music background. I believe in a good night sleep it helps me take on the day.
       
    18. Angel G
      Dreaming

      Angel G Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2015
      It can't be from masturbation. But it could be from the Gin and the smoking. When I got mine, I also drunk wine to fight with my insomnia.
       

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