It's been a while since I posted on here. I have been doing well, getting on with life, blocking out the noise with music etc.... But today, it's driving me mad. Not just the noise, but the idiotic knowledge that I caused it all. I feel ashamed and angry with myself for mastubating over and over which caused the tinnitus in one ear, and then the other.... It's almost laughable, silly, amusing .... I feel like the most stupid woman in the whole world. I only did it to make me feel a bit better, when depressed. And now I'm left like this. What a fool I am . Right now I hate myself . I'm drinking a Gin at breakfast, smoking, and feeling generally like shit. Sorry to rant. No one else wants to listen or can understand. I feel so lonely in this.