First Summer with Chronic Tinnitus Coming Up

Discussion in 'Support' started by Markku, Mar 27, 2011.

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    1. Markku
      Inspired

      Markku Director Staff Benefactor Hall of Fame Team Trobalt Team Tech Team Awareness Team Research

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2010
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Syringing
      1.5 years ago I couldn't have imagined what tinnitus was like. Why would I, when you are generally healthy, you don't tend to think about the what if's. I think it's definitely true many don't appreciate what they have, only do they realize that after they don't have it anymore. Regarding health it's easy to forget how fragile we are. How quickly we can lose anything and everything.

      Tinnitus first became part of me early last year. I was very hopeful it would be temporary, not lasting for the rest of my life. The spring I spent waiting for the miracle, sleeping less than ever before, adjusting to the constant irritating sound was bothersome to say the least. At summertime I continued to be positive and hopeful, I didn't really consider it permanent at that point. I had read stories of how one's tinnitus took almost a year to diminish and disappear. I guess I thought I'd be one of those.

      By fall I began to understand that waiting for it to go away was just plain useless and started making me more anxious and stressed. It would go away in its own time, and even if it never did, I could continue living almost* normal life. It's not like I was hit by a bus and became quadriplegic or had a severe brain injury. I consider myself lucky in that aspect.

      This summer I'm hoping to do all the things I used to love, enjoying the people around me & the nature and our summer house by a lake & just being content with myself. Besides of course being online and here with you folks.

      *Tinnitus hasn't beaten me, I'm starting to think I've beaten it, which of course means that I'm quite successfully habituated and don't pay that much attention to it anymore. But I still have some bad days and especially some irregular problems with concentration, and I'd be lying if I said I enjoyed silence the same way I used to. I used to love being in silence and tinnitus has somewhat robbed me of that. I can be in silence, but I don't enjoy it the same way. I guess that goes for many of us.


      Hope we all have a special summer ahead of us. :love:

      Do you remember your own first summer with chronic tinnitus?
       
    2. Clive

      Clive Member

      Location:
      North East UK
      Hello Marku,
      I enjoyed reading your posting and hearing of your story. I am sure that the success of this forum has helped you. Your writing indicates to me that you have partially habituated. For example you describe your tinnitus as "chronic". Also you say you have " quite" successfully habituated and that you don't pay " that much" attention to it any more. Remember that habituation is a gradual process with ups and downs and that you will habituate to some parts of the day quicker than others. True successful habituation would mean that your life is the same with or without tinnitus. I hope you have just a summer and not a summer with tinnitus. Easy to say but hard to do I know.
      Best wishes,
      Clive
       
    3. Seras

      Seras Member

      I'm 5 months into this, living one day at a time, not thinking about the future with tinnitus.
       
    4. Svein

      Svein Member

      I can't remember my first summer with chronic tinnitus, it's many years ago. But last summer was the first summer I had thoughts about not being able to handle it any more. Or rather: Handle it and full time job any more. And in October last year I threw in the towel and asked for 50% off work. In Norway you can do that for one year before it gets economic consequences.
      I feel habituated in the sense that I can enjoy a lot of things, like music and reading and "the great outdoors", but I am tempted by a feeling that it's now only five years till my retirement (at 64), and that I deserve time to do the things I enjoy, instead of working full time. Which is a problem, since I can't afford 50% disability now, even though I could probably get it.
      Having had both cancer and a heart attack, I know the feeling "it could be worse".
       

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