Four Years of Tinnitus

Hey all,

My name is Tim and I've been a victim of tinnitus since 2015. I suspect it's because of loud music (a J. Cole concert specifically) but I'm not sure, hence the Unknown on my profile.

I only recently learned of this forum and decided to join, because talking to like-minded (or rather, fellow patients) people has proven to be helpful to me before.

About my tinnitus: it's in my right ear only, and as of late I've learned to appreciate that. I used to think one-sided tinnitus unbalanced me as a person: sometimes I feel as though the right side of my head is heavier than the other, more often than not I find myself sitting with my head tilted. Only recently I discovered the flip-side of this lopsidedness: if I focus, I'm able to 'listen' through my left, more silent ear. It's a temporary solution and usually brings but a moment of calmness, yet I feel like it's worth it.

There are other problems that I experience, I'm sure are nothing new here, but I'll talk about anyway. I feel a need for sound constantly, I never leave home without my headphones and when I can't find them I lowkey freak out. Sleeping is an issue, I can't lay still listening to evening sounds or the road that passes by my house because of this intrusive sound that seems to be able to shift gears whenever it pleases, whenever there's nothing to "outperform" it.

I feel like tinnitus makes me more sensitive, not just towards all sounds, but also elevation and pressure. I can't sleep well on my right ear, I can't touch the bottom of a pool, a vacuum cleaner ruins my mood and I have to chew all the gum available to me when in a plane. Whenever a new tone layers itself over my tinnitus I have to ask people if they "hear that too?"

Do any of you experience the same thing?

I should be forthcoming, tho. The reason I suddenly joined this forum is not completely because I didn't know about this forum. It's also for research. I'm a student at an art-academy in the Netherlands and this year I'll graduate (hopefully). The study I'm doing is called 'Creative Writing', but calling myself a writer is not a habit yet. For my thesis I want to research tinnitus and its effect on my writing/creating process and that of others. I hope to find stories of other artists who feel tinnitus intervenes with their creative process and takes up a space in their final work, invited or uninvited. If anyone reading this recognizes this feeling, or phenomenon, whatever is the right term, feel free to message me. I'd love to talk to you.

 

Hi Tim, I write poetry, music, and short stories. I enjoy painting too. I do not feel tinnitus interferes with my creative process, or creativity in general. I don't deliberately search out noise to mask it either. It very well may be that while I am creating, I am most able to shelve the intrusive sound. Keeping myself present in what I am doing is what helps inoculate it.

 

I wish I could say the same, I feel my work fractures because of my tinnitus. It gets discontinued and started up again and again, until the final product is a sum out of many, small parts.

But maybe I shouldn't forget that it is possible to get immersed in what you're doing and just... not hearing it? Did you have to learn to inoculate it? Did it come naturally?

 

Been a hardcore artist for 35 years. Post tinnitus and what I call PTSD and brain damage my art has been at a standstill for two years. Having said that, I am about to bust out again and create my best pieces ever. At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself. Brain damage is a doozy. When I had an accident I felt a sharp pain like a needle being driven into my brain. It’s taken time to recover... but I am coming back... good luck with your writing... the noblest of all arts.