Guess I'm Over Tinnitus — I See It Now as Part of My Being and Entirely Normal

Hey all,

My tinnitus started in April 2018. I had the usual experience. Felt awful, first genuine time I'd experienced anxiety and depression. Habituated to it in a few months - but it got worse in May 2020 (weird up and down high pitch ringing in left ear whereas the initial tinnitus was just in the right ear).

It's still there, although quieter, and was initially crazy distracting since it isn't a flat tone - kind of like constantly being nudged since it fades in and out.

I have come to realise a few things over the passage of time:

-> It's harmless, and there are people with awful conditions whose medication to keep them alive gives them tinnitus and they think nothing of it. Please don't see that as me suggesting people shouldn't suffer - I totally get people have it in a severe way here and it DOES harm them psychologically. But I do believe Dr. Nagler is right that it's all about reaction and if that can be got under control, the battle is almost won.

-> I've realised it's just my reaction to it that counts for anything. If I think about yesterday, or the week before - do I want to consume myself in tinnitus or of the happy memories I create? The tinnitus will be there regardless, so it's whatever. I don't think of my breathing/heartbeat the day before! We only get one life, so why be miserable for something that cannot be controlled.

-> I am seeing it more and more as not abnormal and a threat, but as part of my being and entirely normal. It has very little impact on my day to day activities save for the fact i now protect my hearing with a lot of care.

That's pretty much it. It has for me got easier with time and I rarely visit these boards anymore when I used to lurk on them constantly. Habituation is a thing, it isn't a perfect cure but it's good enough for me!

I am grateful I don't have something far worse... that's something the pandemic has taught me!

Yup if there was a pill curing it, I'd take it. But hell, if one doesn't come along in my lifetime I'm not going to be too fussed and will just bat on with things, and enjoy the rest of my health while it lasts.

Take care all.

 

@Jamesd Thank you so much for coming back to tell us your story, and I'm delighted for you that you are enjoying your life again.

It's so great to hear how it got easier for you over time, and that you feel it is actually quieter too. I know, at first, all I wanted was for it to be GONE completely, but now I am over the moon when I get a reduction in volume.

I am at 2 years and some days are fabulous and others it gets very loud in the evening, but even on a 'bad' day I am coping WAY better than at the start, so hopefully I'll soon be where you are.

 

Hey Mikki! Time really helps I think. I went 35 years without it - then bam! The first period was far worse than the second, but both were rough. Now sleeping like a baby, doing well at work etc...

I have adapted to sleeping in noise (it's actually soothing and I sleep better than I ever did) and remind myself to be grateful for not having something worse if I get down at all At some stage in the future I'll probably forget it's there even more than I am now, but where I am now is alot better than the state i was in before.

I wouldn't say I'm fully habituated by any stretch, but I know the process is happening - whether I like it or not! I think wishing for it to be gone completely just delays acceptance and habituation - I was like that for a long time. Things got easier when I accepted it and realised i'd have to learn to live with it (the dreaded words...) but they become over time alot less dreaded as it becomes a bit more normal.

I kinda see it like a blemish or a mole. Some people develop them for various reasons, sun exposure, no reason at all. Some people develop eye floaters... others tinnitus, others cancer, auto immune disorders, pain conditions etc. There are very few people free of all health problems - particularly as we get older

Perfection really is the enemy of the good!