Hello, My Name is Kathi

Hello. I typed "I want to kill myself because of tinnitus" into Google and this forum came up. My tinnitus started on Nov. 1. I'm so panicked. I have been to an ENT and he said I have age related tinnitus and to him it was no big deal. I had a hearing test. I've lost high frequencies in both ears but my hearing is okay otherwise. He told me that I am the problem--that something I'm doing combined with the age related hearing loss is what is causing this tinnitus. He said to give up alcohol, caffeine, artificial sweetners and salt. Nothing seems to make a difference. On Thanksgiving I had a reprieve--it was almost like I didn't have it but it came back with a vengeance. I drank wine and it killed it but the next day it was back so loud. I called my GP in a panic and he called in some Ambien for me as I couldn't sleep and had only slept 3 or 4 hours a night for over a month. I feel like I made it worse by having wine but I couldn't cope anymore. I've tried using masking sounds. I'm asking my daughter to go get me an ipod or mp3 player--I tried at lunch today but I am older and can't figure out what to buy.

I am in a bad place. I go from panicked to crazy. I cannot picture the rest of my life like this. I have an appointment with my GP tomorrow.

I'm going to read more when I calm down. Thanks for listening.

 

Hi Kathi,
I'm not sure about the advice that your ENT has given you but the main thing for you right now is to try not to panic. The lack of sleep is causing even worse anxiety for you and it's a vicious circle. Tinnitus makes you anxious, you worry and get more anxious, you're frightened because you don't know what's happening, you can't sleep because of the noise and the lack of sleep makes you far , far worse.

Keep saying to yourself that it will get better. Time will bring relief. It really will. Convince yourself that this noise is not going to harm you in any way.

In the early days anxiety is the worst enemy - not tinnitus. I can only say this now, after over 18 months of T.
I felt like you do now back in April 2012. I didn't want to live. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't think straight. It was horrid.

The best advice I can give is:

1. Get some sleep. If you need drugs to achieve this then get them.

2. Convince yourself that tinnitus is not going to harm you and that, if you can somehow manage to stay calm, then your brain will help by trying to filter it out. It may manage to get rid of it completely but even if it doesn't, it WILL get better than it is right now.

3. Cut down on foods high in salt & sodium - it is a known fact that these aggravate tinnitus and they're unhealthy anyway.

4. Persevere with getting the right masking noise. You may not be computer savvy but you can find websites (because you found this one!). As a stop gap until you get your MP3 player , go to:

Rainy Mood

and let it play in the background to help mask the noise. Try not to mask it completely because if your brain is unable to hear it then it can't help filter it out.

5. Go and see your doctor and ask to be referred to a more sympathetic ENT.


If you get scared then come back to T Talk. We'll be here for you and we know exactly what you're going through.

Take Care

Click

 

Welcome Kathi,
I have to address the ENT 's comment that you are the problem, that you are the cause if your T. That sure isn't what someone needs to hear. Truth is T can come on without any known cause. Mine started after a sinus issue and after taking medication. Was it the virus or the meds, no one is sure. Would it have happened without a sinus issue and meds, maybe. Can we do things to help our situation? Yes, there are things we can avoid, like alcohol, artificial sweeteners, caffeine, loud noises, sugar. Everyone is different, so alcohol for one person may ease their T, for others it may well make it worse. I think most people have adjusted their diet in some way in hopes of stopping their T. Over time they may find that some if these things have no effect at all and some do. Stress on the other hand does make things worse, it keeps us from moving forward and trying things that can help us, like diet, masking, cognitive therapies, acceptance and habitation. You've got a lot of support here and great information. Your not alone and we understand what your going through. Hang in there, masking is a great tool. Getting sleep is key as mentioned by Karen and click. Hang in there. Help is here on this site.

 

Hi Kathi, until you get a masking device, find a FM radio with ear phone jack, tune the FM radio to where there is no station, you will hear White Noise. Plug in the the earphone and turn up the volume until your T noise is barley noticeable. I used this method for a few months before I got a hearing aid combo with a masker. This set up is pretty cheap, FM portable radios can be picked up for $20 or so. It actually works as good as my masker for white Noise...

 

I was watching Judge Judy, and she commented to this Lady's husband,
"Oh, your wife --- she must be the nervous type".

My twisted short-cut definition of Tinnitus is:
" The perception of a sound from activity within the nervous system without corresponding stimulation."
(Jastreboff & Hazell)

So we heard nerves in our heads. It gets old. Have a drink babe, coffee's ok in my life too. It doesn't seem to matter. Go out and realize you can live your life like never before, to the fullest. Nothing will stop you, once you get the sleep issue under control. Getting old kind of sucks, but I bet you can still compete with the young one's on the dance floor.

Thinking about a wild party, I got a date on New Year's Eve.
Unfortunately, my Tinnitus is coming along too, uninvited.
Maybe i'll be so distracted I'll try to push it aside it for a few hours.

 

Hi Kathi,

I've had tinnitus for a over a month now. Around week 2 to 3, I really started losing it and even had the beginnings of a "plan." I did take Xanax and it helped. I also started meditating every night while I was sleeping and telling myself over and over again, "You have the ability to self heal, you can adapt." I used positive mantras in the past, when competing as an elite athlete, so figured I'd apply that technique to this thing. It helps. Prior to this I played the piano and composed music. I am super sensitive to sound and it was really hard to accept this sound that doesn't belong there. However, I'm getting better at it. I have the super high pitched tinnitus (the most common type) and it never ceases. I tell myself it sounds like being underwater in a public pool, where you can hear the high pitched sound of pumps working. That makes me feel safer and that sound is familiar, as I was a swimmer. I know that there are going to be ups and downs, but I think there is a bell curve. There is a point where things are just anxiety ridden, super loud and bad and then you come around that bend and start learning how to cope better. Earlier this week I was able to put the sound in the back of my mind for 5 seconds at a time, then it came back out. I played this 5 second back and forth game for about 10 minutes. It showed me that it can be done. Of course, I haven't been able to do that since Monday, but I think I can do it again. My brain will form new neural pathways, I will adapt. I will gradually learn to put this in the background of my conscious mind.

 

Thank you for all you encouragement and advice. I took the ambien and slept 7 hours. My tinnitus is still as loud as last night so I don't know if sleep really helps. I'm dreading getting through another day. I feel so bad for my husband --this has turned our peaceful world upside down. I seriously don't want to go on with this. I wish I could believe that I'll feel differently in time. I've read that 85% of those that get tinnitus habituate naturally--the rest suffer forever. I think I'm part of the 15%. I know two women who have it and it doesn't bother them. They say they only hear it if they listen for it. I must not have the type of personality that can just adjust and habituate.

Thank you again. I'm seeing my GP this morning and maybe he'll give me something for my anxiety.

 

Hi Kathi, i´m new aswell, it is really early stages for us at the moment, you can´t know if you will habituate or not, so don´t even think about that at the moment. I was on skype to my husband last night, and i told him i wanted him to find someone else to be with, a woman who is normal and has nothing wrong with her, as this is my mess to deal with and not his,and we both sat crying on skype... i´m trying to stay strong but it´s really hard at the moment. This is a great forum and people will be here for you, with lots of encouraging words, advice,and empathy... good luck and try and stay calm, i´m having a small vodka later, so when my husband skypes me i will be a little more calmer and give him a break from my usual crying and telling him that i´m going to kill myself... he works away in India and feels he is useless to me!!! i´m on my own and trying not panic, it´s hard very hard, let us know how you get on!!