Hello, My Name is Kathi

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Kathi, Dec 5, 2013.

tinnitus forum
    1. Kathi
      Balanced

      Kathi Member Benefactor

      Location:
      NJ/USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/30/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      HFHL and stress
      Hello. I typed "I want to kill myself because of tinnitus" into Google and this forum came up. My tinnitus started on Nov. 1. I'm so panicked. I have been to an ENT and he said I have age related tinnitus and to him it was no big deal. I had a hearing test. I've lost high frequencies in both ears but my hearing is okay otherwise. He told me that I am the problem--that something I'm doing combined with the age related hearing loss is what is causing this tinnitus. He said to give up alcohol, caffeine, artificial sweetners and salt. Nothing seems to make a difference. On Thanksgiving I had a reprieve--it was almost like I didn't have it but it came back with a vengeance. I drank wine and it killed it but the next day it was back so loud. I called my GP in a panic and he called in some Ambien for me as I couldn't sleep and had only slept 3 or 4 hours a night for over a month. I feel like I made it worse by having wine but I couldn't cope anymore. I've tried using masking sounds. I'm asking my daughter to go get me an ipod or mp3 player--I tried at lunch today but I am older and can't figure out what to buy.

      I am in a bad place. I go from panicked to crazy. I cannot picture the rest of my life like this. I have an appointment with my GP tomorrow.

      I'm going to read more when I calm down. Thanks for listening.
       
      • Hug Hug x 4
    2. click
      Busy

      click Member Benefactor

      Location:
      West Cornwall, England, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      06/04/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Not sure
      Hi Kathi,
      I'm not sure about the advice that your ENT has given you but the main thing for you right now is to try not to panic. The lack of sleep is causing even worse anxiety for you and it's a vicious circle. Tinnitus makes you anxious, you worry and get more anxious, you're frightened because you don't know what's happening, you can't sleep because of the noise and the lack of sleep makes you far , far worse.

      Keep saying to yourself that it will get better. Time will bring relief. It really will. Convince yourself that this noise is not going to harm you in any way.

      In the early days anxiety is the worst enemy - not tinnitus. I can only say this now, after over 18 months of T.
      I felt like you do now back in April 2012. I didn't want to live. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't think straight. It was horrid.

      The best advice I can give is:

      1. Get some sleep. If you need drugs to achieve this then get them.

      2. Convince yourself that tinnitus is not going to harm you and that, if you can somehow manage to stay calm, then your brain will help by trying to filter it out. It may manage to get rid of it completely but even if it doesn't, it WILL get better than it is right now.

      3. Cut down on foods high in salt & sodium - it is a known fact that these aggravate tinnitus and they're unhealthy anyway.

      4. Persevere with getting the right masking noise. You may not be computer savvy but you can find websites (because you found this one!). As a stop gap until you get your MP3 player , go to:

      Rainy Mood

      and let it play in the background to help mask the noise. Try not to mask it completely because if your brain is unable to hear it then it can't help filter it out.

      5. Go and see your doctor and ask to be referred to a more sympathetic ENT.


      If you get scared then come back to T Talk. We'll be here for you and we know exactly what you're going through.

      Take Care

      Click
       
      • Agree Agree x 2
      • Useful Useful x 1
    3. Karen
      Talkative

      Karen Manager Staff Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador

      Location:
      U.S.
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2010
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      First time: Noise 2nd Time: Ototoxic drug
      Hi, Kathi, and welcome,

      I agree with all of Click's advice (above), and about finding the right masking noise. Many of us seem to find that water sounds are the most calming and soothing. It's good to play these sounds in the background, especially in quiet environments, and before sleep.

      I, too, understand how you feel right now. I'm an older woman (67), and have had mild tinnitus many years in my right ear. It didn't bother me until 3 1/2 years ago, when I took a blood pressure drug for the first time. That seemed to set off my tinnitus in my already-sensitive ear. Right at the beginning, it was very hard. I was depressed, anxious, having panic attacks, and terrible insomnia.

      Now, however, things have gotten much better. The tinnitus is still there, but much calmer, and I am able to live and enjoy life again.

      Right now, your priorities should be what Click outlined: Get some sleep, find a good masking sound, find ways to cope and be calm (exercise and yoga work for me), and, if necessary, get a prescription drug from your doctor that will help with anxiety and/or sleep. It takes awhile to habituate to this new sound in your head, but it really is possible to do so. It just may take a little time.

      We wish you the best, and can offer additional suggestions (for supplements, hearing aids, etc.). We are here to support one another, and we welcome you to the forum!

      Best wishes,
      Karen
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    4. Lulubug69
      Artistic

      Lulubug69 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      9/2013
      Welcome Kathi,
      I have to address the ENT 's comment that you are the problem, that you are the cause if your T. That sure isn't what someone needs to hear. Truth is T can come on without any known cause. Mine started after a sinus issue and after taking medication. Was it the virus or the meds, no one is sure. Would it have happened without a sinus issue and meds, maybe. Can we do things to help our situation? Yes, there are things we can avoid, like alcohol, artificial sweeteners, caffeine, loud noises, sugar. Everyone is different, so alcohol for one person may ease their T, for others it may well make it worse. I think most people have adjusted their diet in some way in hopes of stopping their T. Over time they may find that some if these things have no effect at all and some do. Stress on the other hand does make things worse, it keeps us from moving forward and trying things that can help us, like diet, masking, cognitive therapies, acceptance and habitation. You've got a lot of support here and great information. Your not alone and we understand what your going through. Hang in there, masking is a great tool. Getting sleep is key as mentioned by Karen and click. Hang in there. Help is here on this site.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    5. gary
      Transparent

      gary Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Macomb, MI. USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Who Knows
      Hi Kathi, until you get a masking device, find a FM radio with ear phone jack, tune the FM radio to where there is no station, you will hear White Noise. Plug in the the earphone and turn up the volume until your T noise is barley noticeable. I used this method for a few months before I got a hearing aid combo with a masker. This set up is pretty cheap, FM portable radios can be picked up for $20 or so. It actually works as good as my masker for white Noise...
       
      • Like Like x 1
    6. James
      No Mood

      James Member Benefactor

      Location:
      California
      Tinnitus Since:
      Pulsing 03/2013
      I was watching Judge Judy, and she commented to this Lady's husband,
      "Oh, your wife --- she must be the nervous type".

      My twisted short-cut definition of Tinnitus is:
      " The perception of a sound from activity within the nervous system without corresponding stimulation."
      (Jastreboff & Hazell)

      So we heard nerves in our heads. It gets old. Have a drink babe, coffee's ok in my life too. It doesn't seem to matter. Go out and realize you can live your life like never before, to the fullest. Nothing will stop you, once you get the sleep issue under control. Getting old kind of sucks, but I bet you can still compete with the young one's on the dance floor.

      Thinking about a wild party, I got a date on New Year's Eve.
      Unfortunately, my Tinnitus is coming along too, uninvited.
      Maybe i'll be so distracted I'll try to push it aside it for a few hours.
       
      • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
    7. Dianne
      Wishful

      Dianne Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/21/2013
      Hi Kathi,

      I've had tinnitus for a over a month now. Around week 2 to 3, I really started losing it and even had the beginnings of a "plan." I did take Xanax and it helped. I also started meditating every night while I was sleeping and telling myself over and over again, "You have the ability to self heal, you can adapt." I used positive mantras in the past, when competing as an elite athlete, so figured I'd apply that technique to this thing. It helps. Prior to this I played the piano and composed music. I am super sensitive to sound and it was really hard to accept this sound that doesn't belong there. However, I'm getting better at it. I have the super high pitched tinnitus (the most common type) and it never ceases. I tell myself it sounds like being underwater in a public pool, where you can hear the high pitched sound of pumps working. That makes me feel safer and that sound is familiar, as I was a swimmer. I know that there are going to be ups and downs, but I think there is a bell curve. There is a point where things are just anxiety ridden, super loud and bad and then you come around that bend and start learning how to cope better. Earlier this week I was able to put the sound in the back of my mind for 5 seconds at a time, then it came back out. I played this 5 second back and forth game for about 10 minutes. It showed me that it can be done. Of course, I haven't been able to do that since Monday, but I think I can do it again. My brain will form new neural pathways, I will adapt. I will gradually learn to put this in the background of my conscious mind.
       
    8. Kathi
      Balanced

      Kathi Member Benefactor

      Location:
      NJ/USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/30/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      HFHL and stress
      Thank you for all you encouragement and advice. I took the ambien and slept 7 hours. My tinnitus is still as loud as last night so I don't know if sleep really helps. I'm dreading getting through another day. I feel so bad for my husband --this has turned our peaceful world upside down. I seriously don't want to go on with this. I wish I could believe that I'll feel differently in time. I've read that 85% of those that get tinnitus habituate naturally--the rest suffer forever. I think I'm part of the 15%. I know two women who have it and it doesn't bother them. They say they only hear it if they listen for it. I must not have the type of personality that can just adjust and habituate.

      Thank you again. I'm seeing my GP this morning and maybe he'll give me something for my anxiety.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    9. carol kane
      Wishful

      carol kane Member

      Location:
      Lincolnshire united kingdom
      Tinnitus Since:
      11/13
      Hi Kathi, i´m new aswell, it is really early stages for us at the moment, you can´t know if you will habituate or not, so don´t even think about that at the moment. I was on skype to my husband last night, and i told him i wanted him to find someone else to be with, a woman who is normal and has nothing wrong with her, as this is my mess to deal with and not his,and we both sat crying on skype... i´m trying to stay strong but it´s really hard at the moment. This is a great forum and people will be here for you, with lots of encouraging words, advice,and empathy... good luck and try and stay calm, i´m having a small vodka later, so when my husband skypes me i will be a little more calmer and give him a break from my usual crying and telling him that i´m going to kill myself... he works away in India and feels he is useless to me!!! i´m on my own and trying not panic, it´s hard very hard, let us know how you get on!!
       

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