Hello to Everyone Out There! New Here!

Hi everyone, my name is Joseph and this might be a long story so bear with me. For some time I have been looking at various ways to cope, to treat and to even forget about what I hear. I have had my T for a little more than a month now and I like to believe that it has gone down. It was almost the end of May when I started to develop a fullness of ear and I had hearing loss too just on my left ear. At first I didn't think much of it because I have had this ear feeling before like as if water gets stuck and you just need to get it out for it to be normal once more.

I had finished my spring semester of college and was back home most of the time, cabin fever was sure getting to me. I didn't sleep much the last days of finals and I was so exhausted I felt like collapsing. During the weekend in which the hearing loss started to appear I was overly anxious, frustrated and depressed. I went swimming on the Monday after the weekend and I still felt like my left ear was shut, could hear but sounded strange. On Tuesday I was still very much the same and I closed off my affected ear for much of the afternoon and it popped and could hear well once more, perhaps it just solved itself at the time I was trying to stay busy and mowed the lawn.

I kept thinking to myself that things must be getting better but then the ringing arrived for real at first I thought it would go once my left ear popped. The ringing was steady and very persistent, it made me panic and I searched for anything that could help. I saw vitamins could help, sound therapy, some said that it could be an infection, I searched online for anything I thought would lead me to a cure. At about 12:50am I had difficulty going to sleep, I had tightness feeling in my chest and I felt like my heart was beating way too fast.

Was living at home with parents and woke up my Dad but when I tried to explain what was wrong I couldn't speak actual words, it took me a while but I finally explained. Went to ER, ears were examined and wax was taken out of both, doctor said my left ear one in which I hear the T was sort of inflamed and red so I was prescribed amoxicillin for 10 days. The fast heart rate I had was due to me having heart palpitations most likely due to anxiety over own issues and fear of my ear getting worse and leading to not hearing anymore.

I didn't sleep after I went to the hospital all I could manage is to just lie there waiting to fall into deep sleep but I couldn't. To make thinks worse I had a dentist appointment in the afternoon and had to deal with high pitched buzzing sounds as they pretty much invade everywhere .

For the next 4 days I tried my best to sleep by taking sleeping pills, sometimes it worked and sometimes I used a sound device playing red noise to sleep. I maintained a positive attitude that the T would go after my middle ear infection was treated and my life would be back to normal. I have my good days where I am distracted and worry less about it and days in which I find myself doing nothing but worrying about it therefore letting it intrude in my life. This week has been the worst because a couple days ago I stopped caring but then it got worse or at least my brain perceives it like so. There has been times in which I feel the tone or pitch drops to a lower volume but it still stays sometimes more manageable.

I know that I sort of rambled on about my situation, I just feel like here is the only place that there are people who understand what this feels like. I don't really hear my T outside unless I look for it, I hear it inside my home unless the A/C is on and not in the shower either if I could describe it it would be a constant static sound subtle but once I try and sleep in a quiet room its sharper. Sometimes I feel depressed over it and I become my worst enemy, I should eat more and do more activities to distract myself because I can't keep worrying about it forever. I hope that with time it gets better and I adapt to it or it leaves out the door and can continue on, I am 21 and also a student who hopes it doesn't get in the way of my studies and life.

 

Dear Joseph,

I read your story and find it very touching! I know what you are going throught. We seem to have a similar T: mine is mild, I don't hear it when I work (call center) or the shower, I hear it at home when it is quiet... My problem is that my T is "reactive", becomes very loud around loud noises (kids screaming, traffic, walking in the city, etc).

If it makes you feel any better, I've had T for almost 7 years and it is still mild despite having a very bad spike in May when I took antibiotics. I have taken many courses in the past 7 years and finished a Risk Management Degree without any problems. I have been admitted to the MBA recently.

Do not let T come between you and your dreams. You should take control of your life, everyday and always. Personally, I find it very scary that I will have T forever but I have stopped fighting it. I live with it, it is part of me and is not going away. I have a lot of projects going on and I will fullfill all of them and you should do to.

Your T is also very recent. It took me close to 6 months to habituate and I live a perfectly normal life for 6 years until May 2014. Life is now going back to normal, I spend hours not listening to my T.

Good luck and hugs

 

Hey! Believe me, I understand where you are coming from: I got T when I was 21 (am 22 now) and had finished a stressful 3 year history course. My T also seemed to come out of the blue, after having a cold. I remember the week before I had a bit of ear ache (still get bits of it now, though thankfully has gotten a lot better) but of course I had a cold, and so though nothing of it. Then I listened to headphones and when I took them off I had ringing in my ears. Again, it didn't bother me, I just thought it was because I had been listening to music too loud. Looking back it was a bit odd that I had the ringing, usually I don't get it unless I had been to a club, though occasionally got it after using headphones, so I didn't think about it much. The next day I plugged my ears and realised it was still there. That's when I got scared. Fast-forward the next few months with so many doctors appointments (they have seen fluid in my ear, which they think it causing the T) and here are am: dealing with T and am pretty much okay. If I can get there, so can you.

Dealing with T is really hard. As you said, after seeing a doctor and waiting a while, you expect T to go when the infection passes. Don't worry about it not going though: I believe that even after the ear heals, it can take some time for the T to go. Try not to worry about it.

Have you been to see an ENT yet? Have they looked in your ears to make sure everything is okay?

Please keep eating, and try to eat well too. If your ears have had in infection, the best thing to do is to eat well so that your body can heal. Same goes for sleep. If you are struggling put some noise in the background, or if you need to get some meds from your doctor. Other than that, try to do as you would if you didn't have T. Honestly distraction is the best thing to help with ignoring your T.

Also, it sounds like you were pretty stressed with your school-work. Trust me, I was in the exact same boat as you were September 2012-May2013. Very stressful, and had a lot of breakdowns over the phone to my parents because I was struggling to cope. I think that stress can play a part in T, so I would try to relax. Easier said than done, right? But your body will also fix itself if it is relaxed, and stress can wear you out. I know it's hard, but try watching something funny or hanging out when friends, baking or yoga etc.

Good luck and let us know how you are doing!