Here I am asking for more hugs

I woke up this morning to go to my summer job and I got hit with a loud onset of fleeting T in the ear I first got the T in, except this time it didn't go away. I now have yet another tone to add to the two I already have in that ear. I had another breakdown before I went to work and had to take a low dose of Xanax to get myself in the game so I could be productive.

Somehow managed to get two awards today for being productive and positive in the workplace. Guess I faked being happy pretty well. But I wasn't happy and I've been wanting to just sit and cry all day and my body is in stress mode that I can't get out of no matter what I do. To top it all off, my ETD is being a super present today which just makes it all feel worse.

I really need some hugs right now. I'm supposed to be habituating to this, not having it get worse.

 

I think it's probably due to your EDT Hun. On days that mine is playing up my T seems louder.
How did you sleep last night? Are you taking magnesium? xxx

 

Hugs for you, @derpytia. The important thing is you DID go to work! Plus got awards for being amazing and brave in the face of T! (your workplace may not have known that, but that's really what they were for)

You ARE habituating. The very fact that you were able to go on with your life on a bad day shows that is true. You are only three months in... Trust me, over time, you will have more good days than bad ones. You are making great progress. More hugs.

 

Perhaps. I still don't know why my EDT acts up on somedays and not others. I'm getting the 7 to 8 hours of sleep i need at night and I don't wake up in the middle of the night at all. I haven't yet tried magnesium but I'm saving up money to get some (im so broke from college hence why im working hahaha)

 

My EDT is a total mystery to me too, although as is my T - I still can't work out why some bays are worse than others.

But I do believe the magnesium helps, I'd never be without it x

 

I'm so sorry derpytia. It's super irritating: you start getting use to the noise and then get another one to add to it. Major hugs to you

As I've said, you can still habituate to the noise whether it is one tone or ten, though it is a little harder when you get another one. That being said, I think you are handling it really well. You went into work even though you weren't feeling great, which is the entire point of habituating - you don't let T affect your life. It does get easier, I promise.

Hope you are feeling okay

 

Let me ask, how do you know when your ET's are acting up or if you have ETD? I suspected that in the beginning 14 weeks ago but now I'm just not sure. When I drive over a bridge I feel slight pressure in both ears even though my wife does not. When I swallow I can hear distinct cracking or popping sound. Some say that's normal but something tells me it's not. Idk.

 

Well you see, my ETD is in on ear. It feels like when you're driving and you have a sudden drop or climb in elevation and the air pressure in your ear feels stuck and usually if you yawn or something your ear pops and it goes away. Well, I can yawn and hear a small pop (that's the eustachian tube opening) and then the pressure comes right back again in a second. That's what my ETD feels like. When you swallow and hear crackling that's your eustachian tube regulating your air pressure in your ear, I hear that all the time and it's normal. But if you are concerned have your doctor check.

I found out I had it from an on campus college doctor first (seriously). He did test where he asked me to breathe in and swallow while holding my nose while he checked each ear. He said the one without the ETD had the eardrum moving slightly when I did so which is a sign of air pressure being regulated. When he looked at the other ear, he said the eardrum did not move as much. That's when he told me about ETD. But I don't know if that's a credible test but when I checked with an ENT later, he said I probably had ETD.

 

Yes my left ear seems to regain just a slight pressure sensation right after the small popping sound.

 

We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.
Virginia Satir

Here's some for you!

 

@derpytia --lots of hugs to you and kudos for going to work anyway and winning awards!!

I understand your frustration but you are being very strong! (((hugs)))