hi my name is adam and im 20 years old, this is a long post i just wanted to type my thoughts somewhere and maybe somone can relate to me, of course i dont expect anyone to read this entire book of a post tho
Well iv had tinnitus for about 6 years going on 7 now, extreme tinnitus for about 4 years
i thought it maxed out awhile ago but its always seeming to get louder
its the constant high pitched kind at the back of my head
iv let it completly ruin my life
i cant sleep (when i want to or when im really tired, i just have to pass out pretty much)
i cant eat
i have problems socializing with people, broke it off with a few girls simply by ignoring them because i feel so wierd
i dropped out of highschool
i quit my job, couldnt hold a new one as i have no sleeping patern, iv tried
im on some type of welfare right now, its the kind you get while your waiting to file for disability, before i file for disability i need to find out whats causing it
iv been to doctors they dont know whats causing it, i do of course have on going apointments (im geusing same results will come, which is nothing) and the doctor told me i most likly will be denied disability, which is fair i geuse, i still have all my body parts
alcohol makes my tinnitus worse so i didnt even celebrate my 20th birthday (i kno you dont have to drink to celebrate but when your a 20 year old guy and all your friends are party animals it just doesnt feel like celebrating without a party or trip to the bar)
i used to get good grades and go to school every single day, even when i was sick until i was just so tired i stopped going, my mother used to get mad at me and she even kicked me out when i dropped out, i moved in with my grandmother and started to attend adult education but i stopped going to that aswell a month or two ago
i spend most of my time just lying in bed trying to distract myself with video games or somthing, waiting for my next doctors apointment
i used to have a gym membership and go most days but i stopped that to now as i have no energy
so i was in great shape before tinnitus, and now i am deteriorating from spending so much time lying down
i feel like im just a very broken person and noone around me can hear these noises or understand me, one of my friends says "oh i hear that noise somtimes too you just have to ignor it"
which kind of makes me angry, i know hes just tryng to help but its just proving that they dont understand the scale of discomfort im going through
i also enjoyed playing old videogames, i have a good colection NES, SNES, Sega, but the frequencies bug me now when i play them so i dont do it often anymore, also large old tvs. the box ones make my tennitus worse when im around them so i feel like im a wierdo trying to avoid a god damn tv
sorry about the spelling and grammar, thanks if you read some of this, or all of it, thanks for your time, random stuff im just venting pretty much im pretty depressed right now im going nowhere in life and its my fault
Well iv had tinnitus for about 6 years going on 7 now, extreme tinnitus for about 4 years
i thought it maxed out awhile ago but its always seeming to get louder
its the constant high pitched kind at the back of my head
iv let it completly ruin my life
i cant sleep (when i want to or when im really tired, i just have to pass out pretty much)
i cant eat
i have problems socializing with people, broke it off with a few girls simply by ignoring them because i feel so wierd
i dropped out of highschool
i quit my job, couldnt hold a new one as i have no sleeping patern, iv tried
im on some type of welfare right now, its the kind you get while your waiting to file for disability, before i file for disability i need to find out whats causing it
iv been to doctors they dont know whats causing it, i do of course have on going apointments (im geusing same results will come, which is nothing) and the doctor told me i most likly will be denied disability, which is fair i geuse, i still have all my body parts
alcohol makes my tinnitus worse so i didnt even celebrate my 20th birthday (i kno you dont have to drink to celebrate but when your a 20 year old guy and all your friends are party animals it just doesnt feel like celebrating without a party or trip to the bar)
i used to get good grades and go to school every single day, even when i was sick until i was just so tired i stopped going, my mother used to get mad at me and she even kicked me out when i dropped out, i moved in with my grandmother and started to attend adult education but i stopped going to that aswell a month or two ago
i spend most of my time just lying in bed trying to distract myself with video games or somthing, waiting for my next doctors apointment
i used to have a gym membership and go most days but i stopped that to now as i have no energy
so i was in great shape before tinnitus, and now i am deteriorating from spending so much time lying down
i feel like im just a very broken person and noone around me can hear these noises or understand me, one of my friends says "oh i hear that noise somtimes too you just have to ignor it"
which kind of makes me angry, i know hes just tryng to help but its just proving that they dont understand the scale of discomfort im going through
i also enjoyed playing old videogames, i have a good colection NES, SNES, Sega, but the frequencies bug me now when i play them so i dont do it often anymore, also large old tvs. the box ones make my tennitus worse when im around them so i feel like im a wierdo trying to avoid a god damn tv
sorry about the spelling and grammar, thanks if you read some of this, or all of it, thanks for your time, random stuff im just venting pretty much im pretty depressed right now im going nowhere in life and its my fault
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