How Do You Support People with Tinnitus?

Discussion in 'Support' started by Lisab88, Oct 22, 2015.

tinnitus forum
    1. Lisab88

      Lisab88 Member

      Hello

      My partner was diagnosed 3 months ago with Tinnitus and it has been the longest three months of our lives!

      She is finding it hard to accept and deal with - and I don't blame her. But it is so hard for me to stay positive all the time and say try and relax and it will be get better soon. She is seeing a CBT therapist (after we moved to another one) but it doesn't seem to be doing anything. I try and the relaxation exercises with her but she can't really be bothered.

      And we've even brought the Acoustic CR® Neuromodulation from the Tinnitus Clinic and we are about 3 weeks into the therapy.

      Today has been the worst day ever as she woke up crying and stayed in bed all morning as she has just had enough. Talk to taking a pill to end it all.

      Would love to know how I can support her and help her through this.

      Lisa
       
      • Good Question Good Question x 2
      • Hug Hug x 1
    2. eric peterson
      Sporty

      eric peterson Member

      Location:
      New York
      Tinnitus Since:
      Onset: 10/2003 Increase: 4/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      who knows? who cares?
      @Lisab88, Sounds like you're doing your best for your partner. I can imagine that it's difficult to understand what a sufferer is going through, when you can't really empathize. My girlfriend was a rock with me, and even she had times where she struggled early on. I'm hardly 100% better from where I started, but these last few months I've turned a corner and my T has much, much less emotional effect on me. The first few months are the absolute worst, and it's hard to say when/if someone will turn the corner. You're doing the right things for her. CBT was a lifesaver for me, but I certainly didn't feel any change for the first few months. If you're not happy with your CBT therapist, might I suggest @Dr. Hubbard , who also has T, and is a wonderful therapist? He's in NYC, but I'm sure he's willing to talk by phone or Skype if you need help. He is well trained in CBT, and as a fellow T survivor, he's great at helping people who are new to T. The best stuff that I did with my girlfriend was to try and limit my time wallowing and talking to her about my T. I left that stuff for therapy sessions (I went for about 4 months), and tried to just live my life with Jane when I was at home. It certainly wasn't easy, and I still have some bad T days. But I have days where I barely notice it, and I imagine at some point, your partner will feel the same. The best data we have says that around 98% habituate completely within 18 months. Most people go on to live perfectly normal lives. Not to say that they don't ever hear their T. But it causes them no emotional pain when they do, and they rarely hear it, at that. I personally hear mine maybe 50% of the time (down from 100% and wanting to cut my ears off a few months ago). There is nothing special about me. She can do this too. A positive attitude will go a long way, hard is that is to believe or maintain at this point. If there's anything else you need, let me know.

      Eric
       
      • Helpful Helpful x 1
    3. suera

      suera Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      02/2010
      Seriously? Wow, guess I'm in the 2%:(

      Lisab, good advice from Eric. Bless your heart for taking the time to be here and trying to help. Just being there and taking this condition seriously is a blessing for her.
       
    4. eric peterson
      Sporty

      eric peterson Member

      Location:
      New York
      Tinnitus Since:
      Onset: 10/2003 Increase: 4/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      who knows? who cares?
      @suera , keep up the good fight. my stat given there was to offer hope to Lisa, not to make you feel bad in any way. We're all in this together. And with no cure available to us, habituation is the best method we have. There is no way to make your brain habituate to T. There is, however, statistical evidence for things that we can do to help habituation along. If you need help with anything, please let me know.

      Take Care,

      Eric
       
    5. glynis-harbron
      Feminine

      glynis-harbron Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Awareness Team Research

      Location:
      England, Stoke-on-Trent
      Tinnitus Since:
      2004
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Meniere's Disease
      Hello and a warm welcome to the forum.
      We are all here to support you as a partner and your partner.
      Its so lovely see partners on here and finding out all about tinnitus and the unwanted emotions it sadly brings with the sound itself.

      Lots of love and hugs and cuddles and reassurance it the best support you can give .
      The ups and downs and loss loss of confidence and self asteam take hold and depression can be tough .

      Your partner will want lots if support but also times might want be left alone.
      Make sure you both get enough sleep and plan nice things and lovely walks in the fresh air..
      keep posting on here and we can help you together through the tough times and in time you will get through this hard time and before you know it you will be helping give advice to other partners..Think it would be lovely to have a special place on here for partners to come and chat to other partners...take care...lots if love glynis x
       
      • Like Like x 1
    6. Gosia
      Balanced

      Gosia Member

      Location:
      France
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      earplugs/ hearing loss
      Lisa, do you know how loud her T is ? There are two possibilities : either is not very debilitating and for now she's 'just' having an emotional response, panic state etc and should gradually get over it, even if you might never find back the same , 100 % cheerful person again ( or you might, that depends on the person ) . Or : she's in so much pain because the condition is really bad. ( she can hear it loud over everything, can't sleep , can't focus, can't live ) . First thing is making sure you did all the necessary exams to exclude any phusiological cause. How did she get it ? She might try to take some drugs, even if they don't help , they will give hope cause sometimes they help. I'm talking notropyl, vinpocentine, magensium, vit C, vits B ( all ) zinc, NAC , ginko biloba, q 10 , tone, vastarel ( that's MY list ;) have taken all that . Plus benzo for a month, but don't take it. Benzo is danger, real danger. Once in a while, never as a continuing habit. It makes me feel at least I did sth to improve blood circulation in the brain, inner ear, improved whatever I could improve . I didn't have any verbal support from my partner and sometimes even complete lack of undestanding - just had to get back on my feet cause the alternative was losing all, my life and I was to proud to give up. I've been having mostly a normal life since, even real happy times. What I needed was being talked to and understood.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    7. valeri

      valeri Member Benefactor Team Awareness

      Location:
      Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2011
      @Gosia
      Off the topic here but has your t settled after your recent trip?
       
    8. Gosia
      Balanced

      Gosia Member

      Location:
      France
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      earplugs/ hearing loss
      Yep, thank you for remembering :) After 12 days I noticed a significant improvement but since my T is super reactive, I experienced tons of short worsenings since. However, if nothing happened that could damage my hearing , I take these spikes more less peacefully..
       

Share This Page

Loading...
If you have ringing ears then you've come to the right place. We are a friendly tinnitus support board, dedicated to helping you discuss and understand what tinnitus treatments may work for you.