How to Stop Obsessing

Discussion in 'Support' started by valeri, Nov 30, 2014.

tinnitus forum
    1. valeri

      valeri Member Benefactor Team Awareness

      Location:
      Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2011
      I just feel that if I could stop this mental torture (obsessions, checking, monitoring) my life would be bit more bearable.
      Especially now that I have new noises:(
      I don't know if it's this fear of tinnitus I have or something else but I just can't stop thinking about it.
      I'm all ears, 24/7
      It's so tiring, mentally and psychically too.
      Does anyone else have this obsessive part?
       
    2. Telis

      Telis Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Calgary
      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2013
      Is your T bad? Or is or more a metal disorder? If it is a mental disorder than I'm sure you can fix it in time.
       
    3. valeri

      valeri Member Benefactor Team Awareness

      Location:
      Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2011
      @Telis

      It's both but this mental part is as exhausting as the noise
       
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    4. Telis

      Telis Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Calgary
      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2013
      Maybe quit coming here :) tough to do I know, but may help a bit.

      I don't know, I'm in the same spot. There is just no control over this crap, it is maddening to say the least and to not be able to take charge and change it, this is what bothers me, not being in control! I think this is why I can't move on, that and it's painfully loud and annoying. I've always been able to change things in my life that I don't like. If you don't like it, do something about it. Well, not so much with T. I'm just about fed up with it. It really doesn't seem natural to ignore and not obsess over screeching noise 24 7.

      I think for some people, their t is low low but they still get obsessive over it and look for it. That's why I asked if it was more of a mental problem/block. If it is low and you can't hear it most the time you may get tired of obsessing and move on to something else eventually (I'm pretty sure this is habituation for a lot of people). However, if your T is intrusive 24 7 and actually the issue it may be tough to drop. My opinion anyway.

      Mine is loud and painful, I haven't found a way to get my head around it yet. I'm not sure I ever will.
       
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    5. RicoS
      Confused

      RicoS Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress or Acoustic trauma
      @Telis.... Seriously... I cannot give a crap about my T at the moment because of the filling in my tooth feels weird like there is a constant pressure in my tooth. I totaly forgot about T ... I do not mask a damn thing anymore because I hate this even more than my T. The bloody thing does not even hurt but I hate the pressure feeling in my mouth. The stupid thing is that this is maybe something that is normal and will pass, but since T anything out of the ordinairy I can focus on and get nuts about it.

      One thing this is teaching me though is that I now understand that some people do not care about their T if they have other problems that they think are much worse. Like a hernia or something. For me T is now at the moment just a sound that I totaly do not care about anymore. Perhaps if the toothtrouble is over my mind thinks it's important again and will focus again on it but for now I can even say I'm full habituated because of this stupid tooth stuff. But the anxiety feeling I got with this is just the same so no progress there.

      I can hear my T now for instance because I feel stressed, but I just don't care .... I know I get out of this again but it's so stupid that you know you must not stress but your body does the total opposit of what you want.

      Like T opened the gates of hell and never closed the door completly so another thing finds it way through it.

      Unbelievable!!!!!! How can you stress because of a little toothache.... I had much bigger problems to deal with in the past. And like I sad the thing does not even hurt. Sorry people....little bit off topic here but the feeling is the same (stess, anxiety).

      The 24/7 feeling I can also relate to, but with my T the focus slowly went away until I found something that I realy liked to do and could keep doing and was motivated enough for even with bad moment with T.
      You have to find your way with T and that can be a long trip to sometimes nothing and you have to take a step back and find your way again. But doing nothing will make you dwell on it for ever.

      I tried reading a lot and watch every damn movie that was released. Even the bad ones....I put my headphones on but not covering my ears so it would mask T and I could still watch the movie and slowly I forgot about T. Well not forgot....but It was not on my mind 24/7 anymore.
       
    6. Martin69
      Artistic

      Martin69 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Germany
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      (Health) Anxiety
      @RicoS , @Telis
      I can tell you the difference between a lower T and high-piched, loud, oscillating T.

      Yesterday, it was little bit lower. No masking, I just said myself I will have a good day and T can wait.
      Of course it was there all the time. If I did not listen to it, it was on my mind. Could not really enjoy things. But it was one of the better days.

      Today we were out and in a loud restaurant, my T was screeming like crazy. No way to distract or not listening to it. Put me onto high alert. Sitting now on the couch watching TV listening to cricket sounds.

      Yes, @I who love music is right. Measure your response, not your T. But I think if it is so loud that it is impossible to ignore, really difficult not to react. With mild T, we all would have already habituated, I am very sure. What scares me, is that we do not habituate to this loud dentist drill. Ending up with deep depression, neverending anxiety and lot less life quality.

      On the other side, from the reports here one can take that people even habituate to loud T.
      Dr. Nagler said, habituation is a passive process. I think with milder T, things would be much easier.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    7. Excession
      No Mood

      Excession Member

      Location:
      UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2014
      @RicoS
      Hi, It sounds like your tooth maybe infected, the feeling of pressure is most likely due to a build up of pus pressing on the nerve. You'll most likely need a course of antibiotics and then either a root canal or an extraction procedure. It would be a good idea to see a dentist as soon as possible. Hope this helps.
       
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    8. RicoS
      Confused

      RicoS Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress or Acoustic trauma
      I will call first thing tomorrow.... T i can mask but this is there always....like my T was in the beginning and I feel exact the same way. But because it not hurt I wanted to wait, but the feeling is not normal so I will call them tomorrow first thing. Thanks for your advice!
       
    9. Kopesy
      Balanced

      Kopesy Member Benefactor

      Location:
      England, United Kingdom
      Tinnitus Since:
      19/09/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma'?' (Unknown)
      I've wondered whether my early obsession with T has caused me to think my hearing is also getting worse. I went to an ENT who told me my hearing was absolutely fine & that the cause to my hearing difficulties are most likely psychological & that it is actually my brain that needs to re adapt to normal sounds. Could this in fact be true? Could something like this really cause this??
       
    10. Mark McDill
      Curious

      Mark McDill Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Papillion, NE
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Likely stress, anxiety, an antibiotic and nsaids
      valeri
      YES! I'm a software developer and I can't stand imperfections (I'm a bug exterminator)!

      This may be a little probing (if not offensive) but I ask from kindness and concern; do you feel/believe that you have totally accepted both the sound AND the idea of T? I know that's what I wrestled with (more the idea than the actual sound, as bad as the sound is). It is easy to obsess about an idea (an imperfection, something we can't do anything about); unfortunately, in the case of T obsessing only makes it worse. I found it's more about learning contentment even though we have things in our lives we detest -- hard to do, very hard to do.

      Mark
       
    11. J-rod
      Frantic

      J-rod Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2002
      Obsessing... Obsessing... Obsessing... :wacky:
      But when he stops checking the forum we will all find a cure... :whistle:

      All jokes aside, try not to think if it as an obsess but rather a dedicated interest in the control over your health. ;)
       
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    12. valeri

      valeri Member Benefactor Team Awareness

      Location:
      Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2011
      Mark I haven't really accepted either, I hate it with everything I have left in me after 3 years of suffering:(
       
      • Agree Agree x 2
    13. Mark McDill
      Curious

      Mark McDill Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Papillion, NE
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Likely stress, anxiety, an antibiotic and nsaids
      @valeri
      Your goal needs to be acceptance; granted, I hate mine too but I've accepted my situation (and I don't say that with my nose up in the air or from pride); it's just what I found to work. It's very odd, but you can hate something and still live with it (kind of like North Korea and South Korea hate each other but live in relative peace, or like those crummy neighbors down the street).

      You can learn to 'saunter' right by your T without even having anything like a significant reaction to it. If you truly hate it, then ignore it -- it's persona-non-grata; make it dead to you (no emotional reaction). Your T will be so sad, so hurt (and so small).

      But I understand about hating it; I've oft said that if my T manifested itself as a person (or living creature) I would likely beat it with a bat and burn it with a flame-thrower! Until then, he/she/it is dead to me (ignored). Granted, that is much easier said than done; but there are positive, objective steps to getting there.

      Prayers!!

      Mark
       
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    14. SoulStation
      No Mood

      SoulStation Member Ambassador Team Tech

      Location:
      New York
      Tinnitus Since:
      2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise / Possible Medication
      I know for me recently taking small steps has helped a bit. Start with just trying not to monitor it for 1 hour on one day out of the week. Then try adding a little bit more time after you feel like you can handle the first amount of time aloted.

      I totally relate to you and suffer from the same issues. Certain drugs can also help - maybe try lexapro. It wont cause your t to get worse.
       
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    15. Atlanta973

      Atlanta973 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2012
      It's hard not to obsess with this annoying, irritating and loud condition. I am one of those people who hate loud musics, movies, you name it. Quiet is better. So I understand that I obsess about the T. A little obsession is not going to hurt. I would not be worried unless it interferes with your day to day activities to the extent you let the T control you. Then seek help.

      I can ignore my T most days. Keeping busy/active is best. It's hardest to ignore at night or when, like this week, it goes into overdrive due to a sinus infection. Get up and do something active when it's at its worst is my advice.
       
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    16. Fa82
      Balanced

      Fa82 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2014
      @valeri...
      Ditto. In the first weeks I thought I was going to lose it. Then I didn't. Later, I thought 'No. Insead, it's going to slowly make me doubt everything about what makes my life worthwhile.' And it did. It had got my attention. From then on I knew I had made a mistake. At that point I knew I was losing it. So, I've quit allowing it to threaten things I find make life worthwhile, and above all living it. It only tires me when I give it my time because, unlike other conditions which might be managed with sth , this keeps going like a very loud runaway train. Rest becomes a kind of distant, half-forgotten dream to me these days. It's true what they say: 'you don't know what you've got until it's gone' I just didn't listen! Now, I have to learn to accept this T thing forever without losing my humanity...
       

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