Hyperventilating

Hi folks,

As I write this, I am hyperventilating again. I have a history of anxiety/nervous illness and am currently in my third breakdown. My dear Mother passed away on Dec 17th 2014 after I (and others) had been caring for her at home since 2011. It was a terrible experience seeing her decline as we were very close. I was already exhausted mentally before she died and tinnitus had returned due to so much stress for such a long time. I suffered panic attacks that would last all day and had the paramedics out twice and one visit to hospital A and E.

I first had slight tinnitus in 2009 during a previous breakdown but slowly, I recovered, habituated and it went away completely. However, it had caused me great anxiety for a long time.

Tinnitus returned at the end of Oct 2014 and I have been thinking of little else since then apart from that and my Mother of course. I'm still ill and struggling with terror, panic and terrible thoughts which are too painful to discuss.

I'd like to know if anyone has louder tinnitus than me as I just don't know where I stand. My PC drowns it out. So does the sound of scratching my head or eating. I only really hear it in the house and then mainly at bedtime. Stress of course makes it more noticeable which then makes me panic more. Sometimes, if I'm calm and I practice breathing techniques, it goes down to a very small sound but it has become an obsession. I feel my life is in ruins and I can no longer travel abroad as every holiday will be wrecked by me listening for T in the hotel room or other quiet places (I'm single). I just want to re-connect with people again but it is very difficult to be amongst others when you're so down and they're just getting on with life.

All I want to do is habituate again. I sleep ok thanks to meds and I have a sound machine too. I'm terrified that the T will get louder and stay louder although my audiologist says my ears are fine as is my hearing. I have had no injuries to my head and I don't listen to loud music or work in loud places. It's all down to stress. If I can only habituate. Sometimes, I think I am doing but then the optimism is gone again.

This is my first post so I hope you will send some 'positive vibes' my way. Thanks.

Jonathan

 

Jonathan,

I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your mother. I understand your grief. I too have very uncomfortable T but I assure you that scratching my head does not go near to masking it. You will habituate as I think you have mild T. Best wishes.

 

Welcome Jonathan. I agree that you may have a 'mild' T but your reaction to it has caused you panic and mental suffering. I am someone with anxiety and panic disorder for years prior to tinnitus. So you can imagine how my nerves reacted to the ultra high pitch loud T when it first hit me a few years back. The brain just caved in to relentless anxiety and panic attacks on auto mode every day, from the minute I woke up hearing my loud T. Then worse, severe hyperacusis soon followed. The H turned all normal sounds glassy and piercingly hurtful to my ears, as if being drilled by every normal sound, TV, washing dishes, people's voices, restaurant, driving, movies etc. I had to wear ear plugs all the time to protect, but the plugs blocked all outside masking sounds, making the loud T so unbearably dominant to hear all by itself. You can imagine the suffering between these two alien 'beasts' which don't like each other. If I do something to please T, H killed me. If I do something to please H, T killed me. So the brain sensed no way out and it just panicked and panicked all day. I had to depend on meds just to survive each long dark day, benzos, ADs, sleeping pills, natural supplements etc. I never thought I could survive such unlivable condition. But never say never. I am back to normal living an absolutely enjoyable life and I wrote my success story like many other people do. I mentioned some steps and strategies to help me recover and learn to habituate to my T. For brevity, if you are interested to read it, search it out in the Success Stories under Knowledge Base. The title of my story is 'From darkness to light, my tinnitus & hyperacusis journey'. If you have questions about the points and strategies in my story, you can leave a comment and tag me so I am alerted to answer you. But remember, I am a panic prone person (perhaps like you) and if I can survive my severe T and H, have faith that you can too, especially if your T is considered mild by others. You should also read all the success stories to learn how people get better. This will calm you down and help you deal with your T better. Take good care & God bless.

 

Hi Jonathan. I feel your pain. I've been suffering from T only for 6 weeks and the panic attacks have been awful. I went to my doctor and he sent me to see a councillor who dealt with stress management. It helped a lot as my mother past away recently too. Go and sort an appointment for yourself, it will help.

 

I found benzodiazepines helpful but the dosage was so small it didn't really have much of an effect. I take the Z sleeping pills but in the morning that demoralising high pitched hiss is there..all the time

 

When you say Z sleeping pills, do you mean zopiclone ? I've been on zopiclone for 4 weeks now, it's the only way I can sleep now. Tried to go without it a few nights and never slept a wink

 

Yes Zopiclone. But I don't think I'll get much more from my GP.I sleep really well and they seem make the T quieter. Diazepam are good too but I found I needed 5mg instead of 2 mgs

 

Thanks for your prompt replies especially from billie48. To Patwalsh, I'm sorry for your recent loss too. Sometimes I wonder why on earth life puts us through such experiences.

I have been prescribed Quetiapine by a special, local crisis team. These are an anti psychotic in high doses but are also used for anxiety and sleeping in low doses. They certainly help with the latter.

 

I used to take half of the 7.5mg Zopicione tablet to try and break the habit,and eventually left them alone completely .Other wise you may get stuck on them for good.The same goes for diazapam,best kept as short term fixes.

 

My tinnitus is so loud it drowns out speech and I feel confused as I don't know what people are saying. But mine comes and goes with another weird symptom - it makes my vision bounce around and sometimes swing like vertigo until the tinnitus stops and then my vision becomes stable again. My head feels odd in a way I cannot describe while this is going on and my balance is affected. It it was only the noise I could cope with it, though it's annoying! It's the rest of the stuff that comes with it that drives me nuts.
To me it sounds like you are having an emotional response to your tinnitus that is described on many tinnitus sites. Sounds can create or affect emotional responses. For instance music can soothe us or a babies cry can upset us. This isn't abnormal behaviour. You are not going crazy. I'm sure there are those who can relate. My tinnitus perhaps is not tinnitus at all because being in the quiet helps me and noises make my tinnitus worse! I can't relate as well to tinnitus sufferers except that I have a noise that only exists in my head. The rest doesn't seem to be like others experience. For example, listening to other sounds will not mask the cacophony in my ear!