I Feel So Tired

So this week has been a pretty bad week for me. I have been pretty anxious because of my T and my small hearing loss. Took a self test and lost about 10-15db and in the 4khz. I can still hear fine but I do miss some things. I just don't know anymore. I am about a month and a half in since the acoustic trauma. I was actually doing great after the first week but I am now back to feeling horrible. I have stiff neck and a bad headache. I feel like just giving up. I know my situation is not bad compared to many others but I am so tired. I can't go out with friends because everywhere they are is too loud. I can't watch a movie without having some white noise. I recently sucked it up and started sleeping with no noise besides my T. I am just tired of this life. I had no history of anxiety and/or depression but feel now that is all I feel. I don't know what to do. I have never been one to put my problems out there but I really need some hope guys.

 

Have you asked about some medicine to help with the anxiety and sleep? DO NOT be afraid to ask if that is what you need. I took some xanix to help with anxiety as well as my T spikes. It made it more bearable. Also, look into some CBT (cognitive Behavior Therapy)...or just some therapy in general.

 

I am scared to use AD but I feel I might have too. Where can I look for some CBT?

 

I have true empathy for what you going through, Enrique. It sounds too much like my struggle back then, with ultra high pitch loud T and severe hyperacusis, which caused my brain to sink into relentless anxiety and panic attacks. Each day was a long dark day of suffering. The tired and stressed out mind saw no way out and I was in deep depression with sleeplessness. Each night when I went to sleep, if I could sleep at all with sleeping pill, I didn't want to wake up again to repeat the torture cycle again. That was some darkest period of my life.

So I understand the tough struggle in the initial period of T. Never did I think I would recover and live an absolutely enjoyable life again. You see, during the initial trauma, the brain is functioning with the limbic system which aggravates the suffering. Which look much worse than it is. The brain is overwhelmed and tired, controlled by many distorted thoughts called cognitive distortions in CBT. We need to challenge these thoughts and don't let them ruin our mental stability. I bought a cheap paper-copy book called 'Feeling Good' by Dr Burns and read that many times. But this book is specifically CBT oriented for tinnitus sufferer:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0205315372/

You must prepare for the reality that the initial suffering will be hard and yet it is not going to be like that for the rest of your life. You must give it time for your brain to absorb in the new experience/sensation. Trying to stay positive even though it does seem like easy to do. Try to accept this initial stage of suffering without making catastrophic projection of the future. They call this Catastrophic Thinking in CBT, a cognitive distortion. Try to read up Dr. Nagler's Letter to a Tinnitus Sufferer and learn to challenge those distorted thoughts, to replace them with more realistic and hopefully positive ones, as is suggested in CBT treatment.

For me, during the darkest time, I just kept telling myself that if others can survive severe tinnitus (and hyperacusis for some), then I will learn from them how, and I can survive it too. I copy their success by reading up their success stories. But most importantly, I give myself enough time. If a tough person like Dr. Nagler took all that time to get better, why shouldn't I have patience about my own recovery? When we give ourselves enough time, and keep staying positive, try some alternative treatment like CBT, TRT etc., then eventually it will get better. It doesn't take a special person to get better. The success stories were written by people from all kinds of background. I was anxiety and panic prone before T & H. If I can recover, have faith that you can too. So give yourself some faith that you can get well too over time. Just don't lose heart easily. There is a lot of life ahead besides T. It will get better. Keep up the hope. Take care & God bless your recovery.

 

Sorry to hear that. All I can say is just hang in there and see if it will go. That is still a possibility.

 

@Enrique, that's great advice @billie48 has given. Your limbic system is making the T seem louder than it should be. It's possible that your neck pain and headaches are due to lack of proper rest. You say you've "sucked it up and started sleeping with no noise besides my T." Don't do this. It's summer...place a fan near your bed. Set it so that you can still perceive the T sound, just barely, over the fan. The ambient noise will cause your brain to focus less on the phantom sound. I am amazed at how much lower my T has become recently after getting back to sleeping well. I also used masking sounds in every room in my house for 3 months. Now no more.

 

Thanks Mike. I agree with you on the need for masking initially. The newer sufferer should always consider masking as a necessary step. Why? To prevent your brain which is functioning under the limbic system from further falling into the black hole of despair & depression. Masking, even just partially, gives you the rest from oppressing harsh T sound, which is very alien to your brain, and it fights/resists this sound to the point it is exhausted. I used to mask at bedtime (using a CD player), on the go with ipod nano, and at the work PC (using a free sound generator Aire Freshener). My panic prone brain would not have survived without masking, as it would cave in to relentless panic attacks when it hears the mad ringing unabated. So Enrique, do try masking and don't worry if at the start the brain doesn't like the masking hassle. It will get used to the masking routine.