I Feel the Need to Vent

Sorry to hear that, Bill.

 

I am very sorry to hear this Bill.

 

@Lane
For me the most important aspect of your post is that karma is not punishment. So many of us pen our circumstances, be it tinnitus or otherwise, on deeds of our past. It is healing and revealing to truly believe that karma has nothing to do with punishment. I hope Ed, myself and others take these word to heart. We have enough beating us up with tinnitus and otherwise; we need to release the emotional strain on our bodies with thoughts of retribution for our past. Thank you for the post.

 

The main problem isn't related to health. It has to do with around $50,000 worth of repairs to my home that my insurance company won't cover.

 

That must be really stressful, Bill. Do you have the money or do you fear this could financially ruin you?

Money stress is never good.

 

Oh no, this is certainly stressful, Bill. Gotta love insurance.

I have a similar story, happened a few years back, so I certainly understand your frustration.

 

As a result of this disaster I will run out of my savings earlier. If I live long enough, I might experience financial ruin. I guess ultimately it will force me to have to postpone my retirement...

This is incredibly stressful but of course I keep reminding myself that at least it isn't a health problem...

In addition to the stress and regret of losing all of that money, I am also subject to the stress as a result of the fact that the plumbers and electricians that I have been talking to don't seem to be very qualified. To make things worse, most of them act like they are uninterested in taking my money. They are all trying to get me to work with their competitors. Not only will I be losing all of that money, I need to work hard to convince the contractors to take the money...

 

Oh my, what a dilemma, Bill. I am so very sorry that you have to deal with such a stressful situation. Why won't the insurance help you out?

 

To Bill Bauer:
I was a Commercial Property Insurance Adjuster for 30 years.
If I may ask, what was the event that resulted in the damage (or as we would say,
why was this not covered under the Covered Cause of Loss Policy Provisions).

 

The problem happened when I was out of town. Turns out that the insurance company requires that one arranges that someone visits one's home when one is away. I would gladly invite family members to do this, but I normally travel with the family member who lives in my town. I have some other family living on this continent, but they live 4000 km away.

I like many people around here, but I don't trust anyone enough to give them the keys to my place. It would feel like such a violation of my privacy. I never realized that one basically can't leave one's place for more than a couple of days unless one is ready to forfeit one's insurance. Travel is what has been giving meaning to my life...

All of the stress is making my T louder...

 

To Bill Bauer:
1) Please identify the specific nature of the event that caused the damage (according to the
Policy Provisions it must be defined as "sudden and accidental").

2) Again, according to the "Duties In The Event Of A Loss" Policy Clause, you must "Cooperate With Us In The Settlement of The Claim" and "Make The Damaged Property Available For Inspection As Much As We Reasonably Require."
Where are you?
In the US there are Public Adjusters, who for a fee (usually 10% of the Net Claim)
will represent you as an Insured and argue on behalf of Coverage. They will also write the repair estimate
and settle with the Company.
In certain states they can also act as General Contractors and complete the repairs.
There are many who are very trustworthy professionals whose interests lie in settling ASAP to receive payment.
Check on line; I'm sure you can evaluate who seems worth retaining.
This is just a suggestion. You may conclude that this course is not worth pursuing.
Dave

 

Just seen this thread and want to wish you both well @Ed209 and @Bill Bauer.

You have both been pillars of strength for so many of us on here. Knowing you both, I'm sure you have the fortitude to dig in and come through these dark times. Wishing your mum better days and relative peace as well, @Ed209

...maybe this vile degenerate could use his/her multiple aliases and accounts to do some actual good, and bulk sign the tinnitus petition, rather than conduct this disgraceful and cowardly trolling campaign...

 

There is more to my particular incident. Having said that, is it the case that if I leave my home for several weeks in the future and don't have anyone visiting my home, I might be able to get insurance should something happen in my absence? Are there insurance firms that don't require one to arrange people to visit one's home during one's absence?

 

To Bill Bauer:
Check with your Agent.

Most Policies have a 60 Day Period for Vacancy or Unoccupancy, but this usually only covers
certain Perils Insured Against with a 15% Automatic Deduction.

Again, notify your Agent of your circumstances and see if you can have such an Endorsement
attached to the Main Policy.

Those Clauses that I previously quoted are fundamental to every Policy I have ever seen.
Again, these are only suggestions; I'm sure you can determine your own course of action.

 

@Ed209

I gotta say it always warms my heart to see you helping people on here, and I've read and reread some stories and comments on this site that stand out and give me hope when the going gets especially tough. Your comments are among those that I value highly. I'm sorry to hear that you've been going through all of this. It's amazing how you face these adversities and try to see your way through it to come out the other end. I hope your mom finds some treatment that sticks and gets some relief, and hope for your load to lighten and you get to look forward to the birth of your little one.

 

I hope for peace with you and your Mom. And better days for your Mom. I hired an aid to come and talk to my mother who suffers from depression, and help with her apartment. Just to have someone talk to her and hang out is worth it. i wish for your mind to get less stress. You have to work a few minutes for yourself everyday.

 

@Bill Bauer - could you contact Property Brothers on TV? Maybe they have a better solution to your home. Possibly cheaper. Also, what if you put an alarm on your house that could help with your homeowners policy. Hopefully, there is a way for this to work out. You should not be stuck at your home.

 

Sorry to hear this Bill. Insurance companies like to take your money but if they can find a way to get out of paying a claim they usually will try. Hopefully you find a policy that suits your lifestyle.

I share your love for travel

 

Oh, @Ed209 . Saddens me to read how hard things are for you right now. You are one of the kindness guys around here always encouraging others and providing words of support and wisdom. I understand your struggles. Sometimes life seems unfair. Just remember that this too shall pass. I hope your dear Mom gets the help she needs and feels better soon. All that you do for her is not in vain. I also hope that your wife and baby are both strong and healthy. Take care of yourself, my friend. Glad you reached out and vented. It is always better to let it out than to suffer alone and here you have a group of people that genuinely care for you.
Sending you a warm hug to lift your spirits up.
You will be ok.

 

Thank you, Bartoli. I’ve always enjoyed our conversations and hope you managed to find a solution to your bike dilemma.

It’s hard going MBH, I can really empathise with your situation.

Bless you, Once. You have a heart of gold and can raise a smile from across the ocean. That’s a valuable skill you have. Take care of yourself.

 

I’m furious right now and cannot believe how stupid some people can be. My mom explicitly told two of the mental health nurses that she doesn’t want specific things writing down as it’s a huge cause for her anxiety. It’s a long story but I can assure you that the premise is simple. All the other Drs and nurses have written her reports the way she wants them since an inexperienced and newly qualified psychologist messed her up so badly (many years ago) that she still hasn’t recovered from it.

I was present during the first meeting to help explain everything and they were really good, holding her hand and explaining that what that person did was so wrong and apologised on her behalf. Well, a few days ago one of the mental health team who was present that day included the very thing we spent 15 minutes explaining not to, saying that it keeps her up at night worrying that it’s in her notes, etc. It stresses her out that much that she wanted to read all of her patients notes not too long ago. They had successfully managed to alleviate her fears until she breathtakingly wrote down what we told her not to.

I literally couldn’t believe my eyes. My mom was devastated saying it’s put her back to square one and that she can no longer trust anyone. The following day she told one of the other nurses (who was there the day I was) what had happened and she was legitimately furious and ripped the report up into a load of pieces and said that’s going straight into the bin and I’m going to tell her when I get back to the office (my mom really likes this woman). Today, she’s had a new report (written by the same woman) and the part she wanted removing has been completely blacked out with a marker, so my mom was relieved. Then to her astonishment, this person had explained on a page nearer the back the reason why the part on the first page had been blanked out by restating the same thing again. My mom is in bits saying she can no longer trust them and that there’s no point in continuing.

How can someone be so devastatingly stupid? I saw it today and I couldn’t believe what I saw. It is astonishing that someone who is supposedly trained and qualified cannot understand this as it doesn’t take a degree to understand why they shouldn’t be writing certain stuff down. It’s common sense and any decent person would completely understand this. The person who did it shouldn’t be anywhere near mental health patients. It’s totally inexcusable and could be the death of someone, it’s that serious.

All of the other people she has seen have written reports that are totally fine. They understand the reason why certain things cannot be written down.

I don’t even know what to do anymore. This is the second time she has been massively let down by a mental health professional, and quite frankly, I’m disgusted. I understand more about OCD than that woman does - after dealing with it for so long. During the first meeting, they actually asked if I was a health professional, and when I said no, they said, “how do you know so much then.” The answer is simple: I’ve fucking suffered in life and nothing teaches you more about mental health than having to help yourself and a loved one. I’ve read a lot and educated myself to a point where the errors they make during her treatment stand out to me even more. It’s completely inexcusable that a professional cannot understand this. At least I’m not alone as her own colleague was apparently just as mad as I was.

Today is going to be hell.

 

Oh, and by the way: @david c, you’re a cunt.

 

I have no words, Ed, except to say how sorry I am that your Dear Mom, you and the rest of your family are going through this terrible experience.

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day, saying, “I will try again tomorrow.”

 

Hi Ed
You are a wonderful compassionate man. To be targeted in that spiteful way is beyond belief.
I work as a counselling Therapist and I’m required to keep notes about sessions. It is not necessary to write up verbatim. What is omitted is part of the confidentially contract that is agreed at the commencement of session.
It’s not necessary to include graphic details of abuse, many people can hardly bear to disclose verbally.
It sounds as if your mom is releasing all the emotions she may have shut down when a child. Poor frightened lady who can’t trust.
I’m so sorry you are having so many personal health problems, so very sorry.
Eve xx

 

@Ed209 sad to see that you are making your untrue accusations again - just to state once more I have absolutely nothing to do with any posters having a go at you - to be honest I try and ignore your increasingly unhinged comments as much as I can. I do appreciate however that your mental health is fragile right now and only hope you are able to get the support you need.

 

Thank you, NC. I’m aware of the note taking that is required and always have been and so as my mom. The other people she has seen have always wrote down “intrusive thoughts” and other such terms and kept it at that. What this person did is wrote down what she was told in explicit detail which has now tipped my mom over the edge. I cannot believe she has done this twice, especially after her colleague was appalled when she saw what she had written the first time, as she was there the day we told her about her considerable concern about what is in her notes.

It defies belief what has happened. I’m broken.

 

What Emma said, I’m sorry man. Healthcare in the UK is making a few strides but obviously not enough, peoples incompetence especially when it’s due to mental health is unacceptable. Stay strong, you have this mate. Concentrate on your mum and don’t forget about yourself. We are hear for you anytime Ed.

Ps @Nanny chocolate lovely to here for you, hope you are as well as can be.

 

Hey Ed, not all of you is broken so hold onto that.
It’s a huge betrayal for your Mom and probably triggered her deepest fears about something no longer being a secret.
You can help by just being alongside her, hard as that may be. Sometimes it takes decades to work through trauma sadly.
@Ed209

 

Hi jcb. I’m still struggling with severe tinnitus and more hearing loss. Had frequent ear infections!!!
Hope you are ok and I’m rooting for Ed. Never met him but what a genuine man x
@Jcb

 

Im sorry Nanny, what a load of bleep all this is eh! Happy you are still powering through just wish we didn’t have to put up with this hell. Hope there will be no more talk of your tights Nanny haha
Yeah Ed is a good man, helped me a lot and many others.