I Haven't Worked Since I Got Tinnitus

Discussion in 'Support' started by Aussie Lea, Jun 16, 2014.

tinnitus forum
    1. Aussie Lea
      Dramaqueen

      Aussie Lea Member

      Location:
      Melbourne Yarra Valley
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/09/2013
      Has anyone struggled with returning to work. l tried one shift in the first week l got this. l had already resigned from my job prior to getting T as l was moving interstate. l couldnt cope and now are too scared to look for work. l feel really irritable when l am around people and feel extreme pressure to act normal on the outside when lm feel anything but normal. l feel anxious like l want to tell people l dont know why lm like this. l have to return to work as lm blowing my life savings and will not be able to buy another house.
       
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    2. citigirl13
      Dreaming

      citigirl13 Member

      Location:
      North Yorkshire, England
      Tinnitus Since:
      17/1/14
      I understand where you are coming from: the first week I got T was terrible. I work at a computer so I kept looking up things about T and getting more and more scared, and I just couldn't concentrate. People asked if I was okay because I was so pale (I did manage to get some sleep, but not as much as I would like). But after the first week I got better at handling it and calmed down, and haven't had a problem working since.

      I think you have to bite the bullet and go back. Unless you would be able to get benefits or something for it, I don't see any other way around it. Can I ask, what do you do for a living? If it is noisy than you may need earplugs, and tell your boss about the situation.

      To me it sounds like you are not coping well with your T in general, not just at work, because you feel that when you are around other people you feel "really irritable" and "extreme pressure". I understand that it very difficult to be around other people - I myself struggled to cope because we went to a noisy place and was quite paranoid, though it was friend's birthday and I wanted to be there for her. You can tell people about how you are feeling - it might actually be a relief to talk to other people. You are likely to find someone who either has T or has experienced it, and that could be a comfort.

      T is very hard to deal with and, unfortunately, we have to return to the real word, T or no T. All I can say is that the more you get out there the easier it gets - the "fake it till you make it approach". Good luck.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    3. ampumpkin
      Amused

      ampumpkin Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Montreal
      Tinnitus Since:
      Onset: 12/2007 Increase: 04/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      2007: Meds(Antidepressant) 2014: Meds(Antibiotics)
      I love what citigirl13 said.

      I thought about going on sick leave when my T spiked badly last month...but you know what? Work makes me feel better and helps me cope. My coworkers don't know it but I love them for just being there, even thought they don't know what's going on in my head... their presence is soothing.

      good luck xoxo
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    4. BobDigi
      Kick ass

      BobDigi Member

      Location:
      UK, Fareham
      Tinnitus Since:
      5.6.14
      I'm only in my second week of T so I'm learning as I go myself. But the more I carry on, and act as if I haven't got T, the better things get. I am doing everything I did before T and that seems to be working for me.
      The way I look at it is that T sucks. But it's probably not going anywhere. But it wont change my life anymore, than I let it change my life.
      If you let it make you give up work, spend all your money and get you in debt, it's only going to make you more depressed. So don't let it.
      My advise is get a job quick. It will give you some money, and learning a new job is probably the best thing you can do to take your mind off the T. Good luck x
       
      • Agree Agree x 2
    5. Aussie Lea
      Dramaqueen

      Aussie Lea Member

      Location:
      Melbourne Yarra Valley
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/09/2013
      Thank you all for your feedback re this. But lm a Psychiatric Nurse, lm supposed to be in control and coping with other peoples problems. If lm acting weird it will stand out a mile away to my colleagues and patients. How am l supposed to do medication rounds when l would like to take some medication too. This condition has made me completetly self absorbed. How will l find empathy again for others? How will l cope with daily verbal and physical abuse that comes with my job which l previously took in my stride. How am l going to act normal?
       
    6. SoulStation
      No Mood

      SoulStation Member Ambassador Team Tech

      Location:
      New York
      Tinnitus Since:
      2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise / Possible Medication
      Hey @ Aussie Lea --- Yes. I know how you feel. I'm a musician who has to play loud gigs that last 4-6 hours and teach almost 7 days a week. I have been having a weekly melt down but I know if I stop completely and go in to debt I will hate myself for it. I just put in my earplugs, take supplements (not to mention medications), talk to friends, get upset and sometimes cry, and carry on with life. But I'm struggling more then you can imagine to force myself to do something that I love because I feel like it could potentially be hurting me. It is very hard, but I've spoken with several like me on here who carry on as well cause they love what they do. I don't know what it feels like to be a Psychiatric Nurse but I have the utmost respect for you (I've had a friend who was inpatient at a hospital near by and visited him so I've seen how wild things can get). You will get through this because if you don't, you won't be living. And as much as T sucks, life does still need to be lived. Before we know it. We'll all be old and dead.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    7. SoulStation
      No Mood

      SoulStation Member Ambassador Team Tech

      Location:
      New York
      Tinnitus Since:
      2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise / Possible Medication
      p.s. talk to people about what you're going through. It will help you more then you know.
       
    8. Aussie Lea
      Dramaqueen

      Aussie Lea Member

      Location:
      Melbourne Yarra Valley
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/09/2013
      Hi soul station, thanks for your kind words. l know several people with T, but when l ask them do they notice it all the time, they say its faint in the background. They dont hear it when they are outside much, they dont notice it at work. They never try to mask it during the day or mask to sleep. The only time l cant hear mine is in the shower. Do you think mine is louder than theirs? l have had the odd day maybe once a week when it feels low and in the background, this has only happened in the last 2 months ( had T 9 months 2 weeks) When l have a rare low day l almost feel normal, and l can block it, if it only it was like this every day, l feel l would function better. Have you found over time you get more low days. If in fact they are low days or just a change in my perception of it ? What do you think? Wish how l knew to just have a low day? Am l coping worse than my friends? Or do they have low T? Please dont give me the volume shouldnt effect habituation speech by Dr Nagel. I have over read T to the max, l could have a PH D in it by now, which l would say is my problem, it has become my whole life. In fact l said to myself l would not read about it ever again, but yet here l am and have now joined TT, lm going from worse to worse. I dont know how you concentrate to teach, did you struggle with that more in the beginning? than now? You sound like a great and brave person. I feel like a wimp with this. I used to be a karoke queen, but there is no way lm going near loud music now.
      Thanks:huganimation:
       
      • Creative Creative x 1
    9. Aussie Lea
      Dramaqueen

      Aussie Lea Member

      Location:
      Melbourne Yarra Valley
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/09/2013
      P.S. l talk to every one about it. T people & non T people. Every one is sick of me talking about it. Im sick of me talking about it. I talk to my dogs about it and they reckon they can hear my tinnitus too and have asked me to stop making that sound. Just joking my dogs really cant hear it? Or can they?????
       
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    10. Aussie Lea
      Dramaqueen

      Aussie Lea Member

      Location:
      Melbourne Yarra Valley
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/09/2013
      Hi Bob, how are you doing so well in such a short space of time? Is your T low?
       
      • Funny Funny x 1
    11. Martin69
      Artistic

      Martin69 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Germany
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      (Health) Anxiety
      Lea. If only the shower covers it, we are in the same boat.
      Sometimes I can hear it even there. I know that some will now say or think that I concentrate too much on it.
      But trust me, it is loud. And yes, I can also have a PH D in it by now.
      I stayed away from the board for a week, but it doesn't change anything. I know that some would say one week is not enough. If people say to not listen to T, I feel even more desperate. Last week I was at the sea standing at the beach close to the waves crushing. My T was screaming and louder than anything else. Yes, one could say I am obsessed. But if it is that loud and high-pitched, it is difficult to get distracted or move on with your life.
      So I fully understand you.
      What do I do with it?
      I was able to reduce all my external stressors. I have no financial problems. I have a family that fully supports me. I have a lovely wife and lovely kids. I work from home and try to do this 4 hours a day. Sitting at my computer and listening to my T screaming. I told my friends and my boss what I have. Everyone gives me full support and I can live and work like I want. I live in paradise.
      But this loud-screaming T drives me nuts. I still cry - after 8 months with T.
      If you are a wimp, I am a wimp, too. But T is not T. I know many people who say: I also have T. But they say they only hear in silent rooms. I had very rare days where my T was low. And immediately I was a different person.
      I listen to high-pitched cricket sounds which interferes with my T. It gives me some relief.
      I try to survive. Time and habituation? I don't know. There are some people here who habituated to loud, screaming, high-pitched T. This keeps me up and living.
      You have loud T and habituation is not done within a week or month.
      Btw, loud music is good for me. It gives me residual inhibition and my T goes into background.
       
    12. BobDigi
      Kick ass

      BobDigi Member

      Location:
      UK, Fareham
      Tinnitus Since:
      5.6.14
      Hi Lea. No my t seems pretty loud. The only way I can explain the volume, is by saying it's about the same volume as conversation. Or the same volume as you'd listen to the tv. And it's constant, high piched and steady.
      When I first got it I was so low. I was crying everyday and feeling sorry for myself. But I've always had the attitude, that if you're not happy with something in your life, then change it. And if you can't change it, then tough. You'll have to put up with it. Crying and feeling sorry for myself is only going to make the t worse anyway. So I may as well except the fact I'll probably have t for the rest of my life. And live my life like I did before.
      I'm sure I'll have times when I get down again. But I wont let it keep me down. The way I see it, I can hear, see, walk, run, taste and breathe. And i'm not in pain. So I'm grateful of that.
      And I've got to say that onece I picked myself up and got on with my life, the amount of time I spend thinking about my t is getting less and less.
      I want to speed up habituation as much as possible. The only way I can do that is by acceptance and staying possitive. I wish you the best of luck x
       
    13. Martin69
      Artistic

      Martin69 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Germany
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      (Health) Anxiety
      Very good approach. Keep that.
       
    14. Marlene
      English

      Marlene Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Poole Dorset England
      Tinnitus Since:
      July 1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Bacterial virus
      Hi all ,most don't find it easy to settle with this condition,even long term tinnitus sufferers,no easy answer.I believe we get different degrees of tinnitus,my husband agrees,and he's had it well over 30 yrs.Sometimes it can be sky high in one room,next go into another room and low and behold it can sometimes drop down ,go figure that one out,my aunt says the same for her tinnitus.we think air pressure plays a part to its behavior,but it doesn't affect my husband that way plus me and my aunt have rhinitis and balance issue with our tinnitus. I know I would have a problem working with mine,so I fully understand when one says it interferes with there working life,one has to work on there stress levels,not easy,but a must.people say exercise go for a walk etc ,but with having balance issue ,not easy to do.
      Hey Bob,you keep that running going,my husbands got a relaxed attitude to his tinnitus always have had,take it ,it's his service background,Calm under Fire.One day were get answers to this,and put stop to it once and for all. Now with so many service persons having it,more government funding will be forth coming.Speeding things up hey, we live in hope
       
    15. BobDigi
      Kick ass

      BobDigi Member

      Location:
      UK, Fareham
      Tinnitus Since:
      5.6.14
      Thanks. I din't want to give the I
      Thanks. Don't get me wrong, I find It so anoying at times. Especially when I try and relax, or go to sleep. But it's not ruining my life. Lea I thought about not being so positive on this thread for fear of making you feel like others are moving on and you're not. But remember we're all different and we all cope with things in different ways and at different speeds. And i'm sure you'll get to a good place at some point, and in your own time. And i don't want to make you feel bad. But I think it's important to be honest with how we're coping or not coping.
       
    16. Ken219
      No Mood

      Ken219 Member

      Location:
      New York Area
      Tinnitus Since:
      Summer of 1990
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure?
      @BobDigi We should all try to stay positive. I have T for 24 years. Had a few relapses but always habituated. Does take time. Hang in there and try to keep it positive.
       
    17. Teri
      Artistic

      Teri Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      4/2014
      I am have only had T for about 3 months in only one ear (Thank God). Mine is low for a while then spikes off and on. I can get some pretty loud spikes mostly at nighttime. I typically have nights when I don't sleep well at all. I have resigned from my teaching position as I realized that I could not teach 28 little kindergarten students with T at this point. My hope is to take a year and try to get a handle on it then maybe try to jump back into teaching again the next year if I can get hired back.

      Can someone share with me how it is to have T that is not constant, but rather intermittent and with varied sounds, rushing, hissing, ringing, chirping etc...? How does that work to become habituated to it? I am thinking it may prove to be more difficult. I also can get pressure and fullness in the ear with T.
       
    18. SoulStation
      No Mood

      SoulStation Member Ambassador Team Tech

      Location:
      New York
      Tinnitus Since:
      2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise / Possible Medication
      Hey @Aussie Lea ---
      I have found mine fluctuates depending on how much sleep I've had, my caffine intake, my stress level, and other factors. I do think that sometimes it's my perception of it, but I'm a musician/producer/teacher so I am trained to listen. So I am in very close touch with how my T is feeling though the environment can change it. Say if you're at the beach or when I visited someone in the hospital i couldn't hear it over all the medical gear buzzing away. I try to not run from it but I know that I do. I had an awful day Sunday when I was on a walk in nature with my my girlfriend and I suddenly had a spike. I broke down but went home and used some of my coping mechanisms to calm down. Some of which I would say are helpful but some of which aren't. I definitely am considering going to CBT with the right therapist. Have you seen and ENT or Psychiatrist about this? It sounds to me like T has seriously disrupted your life and you should probably talk to a specialist. Yes it was hard to teach once I noticed I could hear it a bit in my lesson rooms or with ear plugs in. But, I feel it would be lower to have to move back in with my parents. But I am know now that I will find a new profession. I will still perform as much as I can and teach a few students. But I don't want to have expose my ears any more to loud sound. You are not a wimp, and you can get through this. We can. It won't be easy. But if Dr. Nagler, Dr. Hubbard, and many, many, others can make it through loud T, then there's no reason why we can't. I can't see into your friends heads so I don't know how they're coping with it. As far as medications go you, you might want to look into it with a doctor so you can live your life. My heart and ears go out to you more then your know.
       
    19. Aussie Lea
      Dramaqueen

      Aussie Lea Member

      Location:
      Melbourne Yarra Valley
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/09/2013
      Hey Soul station, thanks for your very caring response. You know how easily offended us T people can get, if we think we are being attacked or made to feel like everyone else is doing better.
      I have seen every health care practioner round. Saw a Psychiatrist, tried 3 different antidepressants only for 3 days at a time, they made me feel totally out of it, depersonalised, more than the T does, and very nauseous, and sedated. Hated them. Im not depressed, l have an adjustment disorder to Tinnitus, which has caused me to have high anxiety levels. Did not have anxiety prior to T. Manipulated Psych to give me Ativan ( Lexapro) benzodiazepine. lm taking fairly small dose's .25mg, sometimes 1 for 2 days straight, then try to have a few days off. If lm having a bad day l'l take .5mg, and it does make a big difference to my coping. l have never exceeded 1.5mg in a week total. l have nursed many people with benzo addiction's so l know how quickly they stop working and you get tolerance. But l needed some quality of life. lve nursed lots of people in Psychiatry who have tinnitus & they have been on huge doses. Also l will eventually run out & my GP will not prescribe them. So my plan is l may need to take the Lorazepam to return to work & once lm coping with that l'l wean myself off them. Hope this works, l think this will help me habituate better, l have been taking these only for last 4 weeks. Prior to that l took nothing but l could barely function. l have doing neuronomics for 6 months, still supposed to be doing it, only do it now when overwhelmed, should be using it everyday as per protocol, but the classical music annoys the crap out of me, and you get so sick of listening to those same 4 tracks. l dont know if it really helped me that much, probably did in the beginning. l had 1 session with a TRT counsellor & numerous phone conversations with my local Tinnitus line, they dont seem overly convinced about Neuromonics??? re not much counselling with it, its cost, but it does come with a lovely book explaining the neurophysiological model. My audiologist is not trained in TRT as such & saids l know more about this disorder than he does & not is not a good thing, i.e. too much reading.
      I have to cope, l am a single mother, l am living with my ex partner until he decides to kick me out. So
      l have to get control. Saw an ENT bad move that was, he said " l can see why your crying, most people with this kill themselves" Really made my limbic system go into overdrive. But we all know now that is not true & people with Tinnitus have no higher rate of suicide than anyone else, but l had to keep telling myself that for sometime. Think l had a PTSD reaction to ENT at that time. You would'nt send your dog for treatment from that ENT. l used to run CBT groups at work so you would think l could help myself. My plan is to stop getting on this forum. Distract myself. Continue on with my hypnotherapist. Take the Ativan when l need it. And go back to work and deal with my reaction. No one can do this for us can they. I do believe there is different levels of severity/ volume with this. Even though my audiologist saids everyones is the same, its just our perception to it, as you can tell by how people describe it and how easily they can mask it. But l do have good days now, so its time to get on with it.
      l wish you the very best life you can have.
      Thank you to everyone who took the time to reply also its very much appreciated, warm regards.
       
      • Friendly Friendly x 1
    20. Aussie Lea
      Dramaqueen

      Aussie Lea Member

      Location:
      Melbourne Yarra Valley
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/09/2013
      P.S. Soul Station, l will read your reply, but then that it lm not reading anymore about this or coming to T.T. Cause l know it makes me worse. l need to adjust to my" new normal". Everyone that l know that has adjusted to T well, does not read about it. Or read about it once & then got on with it. Or did'nt even know what it was called, but just accepted this change to their hearing or brain or what ever. So l believe that is the key to it for me. Stop talking about it & reading about it. Hopefully then my frontal lobe in my brain will de-emphasize it. I think if your managing well then it's ok to keep looking at T.T. as others do but lve been reading this stuff for far too long. Maybe when l habituate l can come back. This is a fantastic site & well set up, with humble, caring people. l always loved Erik's post's as they are so sane and rational and calming.
      Thanks
       
    21. Theadora

      Theadora Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      As long as I can remember.
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Meningitis
      My T is connected to Menier's or Migrainous Vertigo -depending on which ENT you ask. So migraines, vertigo and T. YAY me! When my TV gets bad in both ears, it caused vertigo now. This is new. I don't known if I can work and disability has denied me twice. I really wish they could live my life for a week. I have had T all my life, as well as gearing loss
       
    22. Theadora

      Theadora Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      As long as I can remember.
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Meningitis
      My T is connected to Menier's or Migrainous Vertigo -depending on which ENT you ask. So migraines, vertigo and T. YAY me! I have had hearing loss and T all my life, but it's never really bothered me until this latest episode of Menier's/Migrainous Vertigo. Now, when normally it would be it's normal low, my T is pulsing and can be very loud. I had an MRI and the results were negative. I also now have it in bother ears sometimes and that can cause vertigo. So work isn't an option for me and disability has denied me twice. I can barely go to the supermarket anymore. I guess a neurologist is next, but with no insurance....
       

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