I Joined the Club Tinnitus, Unfortunately

[Strife_84]

Hello everyone,

This is my first post here and the reason I joined a foreign forum is because I think I can have more knowledge and support from larger forums.

I am 35-years old (turned this February) and I've never had a tinnitus in my life. Now I got tinnitus.

Why? Because of my own stupidity I guess.

I have been making music for years, last year I got 3 tracks officially released (I make electronic music, trance etc.) Last week, I was very happy, I was on the final stretch of my new upcoming track that I have worked on for months.

I also got some new gear so I was even more excited than usual to play around with those equipment. I did long hours. I did 30 hours in 3 days. 8-12 hours per day. Listening closely to my mixes, tweaking, changing.

I've done so before. Many times. But this time I got myself tinnitus. I am very baffled because I checked the sound levels, they are never too loud. I don't listen speakers blasting or headphones at full volume.
I've never gotten tinnitus before in my life. I've been in nightclubs, concerts. Never an issue. Why now?
Maybe the long hours were too much. I could say the volume is between 75-85 dB. It's hard to tell since I have no way to measure the volume, but I even take regular breaks. 10 minutes now and then and longer breaks.

I did have a sinus infection at the same time. So I don't know if that is the culprit too.

I've been resting my ears for a week now, I visited doctor but she said "there is really nothing we can do. Go take a hearing test.

I have:
-Ears feeling pressure inside and blocked
-Sensitive hearing (microwave beep is the worst)
-Pain in my eardrum (feels like a cat inside my ear clawing or someone sticking a knife in my ear)
-Burning sensation in my eardrum
-Slightest sounds make tinnitus louder and my ear feel blocked (toilet flush, running faucet etc.)

My hearing has returned for a bit. Last Sunday I went out for a walk. I bursted up in tears. There I was standing in a middle of a forest and I could not tell if the bird was singing from left,right, behind or front of me. I felt surreal. I started crying. Luckily it is slightly better now.

I have no idea how I am supposed to cope with this. Music is huge part of my life, I have spent thousands of euros to my equipment and software. Now I am not sure if I can ever make music. Everything sounds "wrong". I still can hear quite high frequencies, up to 14 kHz at least. Which is normal for my age, but still everything sounds "wrong".

Problem is I already suffer from cyclothymia and depression now and then. Now my quality of sleep is even worse. Luckily for me, I managed to get rid of alcohol.

I have really no idea. My family does not understand my condition well. My sister has tinnitus but she does not need her ears in the way I do. It's like a painter would damage his/her hand or runner damage her leg. I cannot do what I love at the moment. Even if i listen at very low volume, the sound inside my head gets much louder.

I just don't understand why this happened. Now. I've always been careful about my hearing. I've done long mixing sessions before. I've used the same equipment for years and the volume levels should've been normal to listen for at least 8 hours straight.

I am so angry at myself. 2 weeks ago I was very happy. Very happy. I was making my new track, I have learned lots of new things and now? I can barely sleep. Silence is gone. Sounds make my ears hurt and everything sounds "wrong".

I know some people have it way worse. I can still hear. Quite well even. But I am still at a shock.
I didn't need this in my life. Not now.

I know it's only been a week. But I swear this week has been one of the hardest weeks in my life.

I am constantly thinking

"Do I have to live with this the rest of my life?"
"Can I ever sleep well again?"
"Can I ever hear silence?"
"Can I ever make music again?"
"Can I ever listen music again?"

What shocked me most was the doctors "just live with it" comment. JUST LIVE WITH IT?! That's it?
people really don't seem to understand how life altering this is.

I already suffer from chemical sensitivity, I am blind as a bat, I am allergic to lots of things, i suffer from depression...and now this on top of it all.

Well. I guess I just have to endure. now I can only wait.

I am still only been suffering for a week and maybe this gets better.

Thank you for this forum. I've been reading a lots of stories so that is why I decided to write my own.

 

[another sean]

You can also get tinnitus from long duration. It doesn't have to be loud. That's what happened to me. I was listening to music 8 hours a day at low volume, after 2 weeks, boom, shitinus.

 

[Autumnly]

I did have a sinus infection at the same time. So I don't know if that is the culprit too.

This could be part of the reason why you developed tinnitus. As your infection gets better, your tinnitus might get better as well.

What shocked me most was the doctors "just live with it" comment. JUST LIVE WITH IT?! That's it?
people really don't seem to understand how life altering this is.

That's something many of us experienced as well, unfortunately. However, most people with chronic tinnitus (if your tinnitus becomes chronic) can cope well with it. Many doctors don't see tinnitus as an emergency or debilitating condition partly because they don't have it themselves, they have a non-severe form of it or because of the idea that tinnitus can't be "that bad".

I have:
-Ears feeling pressure inside and blocked
-Sensitive hearing (microwave beep is the worst)
-Pain in my eardrum (feels like a cat inside my ear clawing or someone sticking a knife in my ear)
-Burning sensation in my eardrum
-Slightest sounds make tinnitus louder and my ear feel blocked (toilet flush, running faucet etc.)

This could be hyperacusis. There's pain hyperacusis where certain sounds cause pain and there's loudness hyperacusis where certain sounds sound louder than usual.

Your tinnitus is still very new, so it could still get better. Even if it doesn't go away, it might still reduce in volume. The best thing you can do is to give your ears a break and, if possible, not listen through anything via headphones for a while (though there are people that argue that headphones on low volume can't cause an issue, I'd disagree). Also, different doctors and websites will say different things regarding when tinnitus has become chronic, some say after three or six months. However, there are also stories of people whose tinnitus slowly but surely got better over the course of several years.

Some things you could try

• as you probably know: give your ears a break, protect them from loud noises
• use a mouthguard if you grind your teeth at night
• see a physical/massage therapist if you have issues with your neck, jaw or cervical spine
• be aware of your posture
• listen to white noise or natural sounds during the day and at night so that your brain can focus on something else

Supplements you could try

• Magnesium or Magnesium Citrate
• N-Acetylcysteine (NAC)
• Nicotinamide Riboside
• Vitamin D, Vitamin B12
• CBD oil

 

[Strife_84]

@Autumnly @another sean

Thanks for the answers both of you
I will rest my ears now and try those vitamins etc. Went to mall today without earplugs and world indeed sounds louder than before...

I have a hearing test next week and I hope everything is normal.

During the days I can live with this somewhat if I am in a noisy enviroment. Nights are awful...

Thank you for support, I really appreciate it

 

[Strife_84]

How do I forgive myself? I am very angry at myself, because I know I could've avoided this...