I Need Help... Advice... Something?

Hi everyone. Firstly sorry this is going to be a long post. I don't know where else to turn and feel all the anxiety I did when I first got tinnitus.

I've had tinnitus since May 2014. Both ears. Started off as ringing and it was noise induced. During my pregnancy I had an awful head cold and this left me with a humming rumbling sound to go with my ringing.

I also get blocked feeling in my ears, lots of crackling when i swallow yawn etc. Since then (nearly 2 years ago) whenever I get a cold the humming gets unbearably loud and the only way I can cope is by masking like crazy until I'm better.

A few months back i had a cold and when it was clearing my left ear started doing a weird fluttering thing mainly when I swallowed or my ear popped. I went to my GP as I have done many many times about my ears and a post nasal drip/blocked nose I've had for years and she said it's probably ETD.

Over the years I've tried nasal sprays to help my ears/nose problems and been to see an ENT twice who was the most unhelpful and dismissive person I've ever met and told me nothing was wrong with me. 2 different GPS have told me numerous times my ear drums are retracted.

So for the last 6 weeks life has been crappy. One thing after another, massive tinnitus spikes, my grandfather passed away from cancer and these last 2 weeks a raging head cold which ramped my tinnitus up louder than ever.

Now my left ear has always felt kind of 'off' since the fluttering incident which passed after a couple of weeks. Sometimes when I yawn it goes a bit echoey and my voice sounds very loud. It only lasts a second or 2. But since this latest cold I was unable to pop my left ear for days. It finally popped this morning and my hearing felt much more normal. Then this afternoon it suddenly went crazy made a big pop and everything sounded totally different, my own voice was unbearably loud! It scared the shit out of me and I was frantically poking at my ear for 5 mins or so before it popped back. It still doesn't feel right but sounds a bit more normal.

What the hell is going on with my ears?! I suffer from huge health anxiety always have since I was a child and have just recently been dealing with some other scary health problems and I feel like my life is constantly on hold dealing with each thing that happens before I can chill a bit and get on with things.

I'm a mother to 3 young children and I feel like I'm just the worst mum ever right now always stressed out and anxious about what ever latest crap is going on with me. I've googled about this ear thing and now I'm terrified it's going to go all weird again and then stay like that. I find day to say life so difficult with my kids, I love them dearly but when the scream and shriek I'm constantly getting upset and I have hyperacusis too and it hurts my ears so much. I feel like a freak constantly covering my ears every time there's a loud noise and everyone around me is absolutely fine.

I guess after 3 years of stress because of my ears I've just had enough. I'm worn out totally exhausted and feel so alone.
Thank you if you got to the end of this long post xx

 

my hyperacusis was treated and it's gone. I still have horrible tinnitus, but for me its mind over matters and not paying attention to the ringing. A cold can take quite awhile to get better, i have had that issue many times as well.

I know things may look chaotic, but hang in there and be kind to yourself.

 

I haven't had a cold to go with my new "blocked/poppy" ears. But I know what started mine was TMJ, my jaw got knocked way out of place. Maybe this is contributing? My jaw is place now and I get massages for it, the weird blocked feeling and crackling/popping/weird noises are slowly dying down. I have pressurization issues (elevation issues) and those are slowly getting better.

Maybe have them check that out, especially if you're an anxious person.

Stay strong. You're kids will appreciate you. Kids are smarter than you think.