I Was Taking a Break From the Forum and I Had a Major Setback...

so I went to my doc and he put me out on a short leave of absence from work. My tinnitus was actually worse than it has been in months. Separation anxiety (from the forum)? Anyway, I took the time off and it was great. My tinnitus was very manageable. Then I went back to work and it got louder again. I have to work, no choice. I did experience 2 days of low tinnitus this week so I am hopeful. It just could be that tinnitus is just too unpredictable for me to know what is the 'new normal' as my tinnitus seems to cycle and I'm overreacting to a cycle. At work I am using masking again--not all the time but sometimes when it gets too loud. It gets so loud that I can't hear out of my left ear sometime. That's a first.

Mostly, I'm okay--even when it's loud. I don't have an emotional reaction and am not distressed. I am occasionally annoyed--so I guess I have some CBT work to do.

Anyway, I'm not sure that a break from the forum is all it's cracked up to be.

 

Thank you Karen--it's good to see you again. Yes, my work is very stressful at this time. My boss left--I got a new boss who doesn't know our system's processes and then my project manager quit. So it's just me and the new guy and I am expected to do my work as well as my co-workers work--he was an engineer--I'm not. Every day is a challenge. I did manage to get an assistant but it takes time to bring a new person up to speed. Thankfully, she's a lovely person and knows that I have tough days. It has been very stressful for me --also I was trying to taper off Xanax because I have been on them for over a year and almost everyone here says they contribute to tinnitus. The Xanax has been very helpful to me with my reaction to stress and being able to function --drive on the parkway--be a passenger in a car, etc. but I had grown afraid of getting addicted. I've decided now to continue with my prescription because my doc says I need what Xanax supplies my brain--that I can't make that neurotransmitter myself anymore. He is a very kind and compassionate doc and he told me that if I were going to get addicted that it would have happened by now. He said that he did some research and people who take it only at prescribed at low dosages don't get don't get addicted or tolerant. Hopefully, this is just a setback. I'm almost 16 months in and maybe I am expecting too much.

 

Stress adversely affects everyone's tinnitus. I would definitely continue with CBT. But why not try something else too? I've been doing mindful meditation and it does help me deal with stress. It took nearly a month before I felt any difference. But I am now feeling less stressful and I hope the progress continues.

See information I posted in the following thread:

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/mindfulness.4633/#post-86040​

take care!!

 

@Karen and @jazz , I've been through CBT --during the first six months until my therapist told me that I had learned all the tools. He did say to call him if I needed him again. I also do meditation and relaxation exercises--I have since CBT as it was part of what I learned to relieve anxiety. I was doing really well but I guess all the changes just shook me up again.

I'm glad you're all here.

 

@Kathi

Maybe it helps what I am thinking about my situation (work):
Working in IT support in leading edge technology (virtualization). The positive is, I can work from home.
The other side is, you could switch on your PC and the first customer somewhere in the world has a system down and you need to jump in immediately. The environments are so complex in the meantime that you sometimes do not know what you are doing. If you press the wrong button, what then? This is pure STRESS - with or without T. Of course don't forget aboute the pressure customers, managers and others make.

My company has a voluntary program. I coud leave with a good package of money.
But what then? I am 45. Nevertheless I have enough money that I could live a long time without work. My wife even asked me helping her in her own little company. Money is no problem. But it seems like T has beaten me. I don't see a way back into another job because of T, depression and anxiety (which is still there). So this is also STRESS. I really could live a stressful live, doing sports, helping my wife a little bit. But I am not prepared yet for this. This is STRESS.

Now back to T. If I am relaxed, have my work done and all is good, my T plays a minor role.
But if my STRESS situations come, my T plays a big role. It is not louder or quieter, at least I think so. But for me it seems like my head explodes when the stress is overwhelming. T seems to limit me or take options away.

I think the same happens for you. In the past, things were easier to handle - without T. T puts another stressor onto us, at least for a longer time. So in a stress phase (where are you know), T gets more attention. At least that is my thought or experience. Of course I could be totally wrong.

I have no good advice for you. I still find out myself which path is the right one for me - finding a peaceful, fulfilling and enjoyable life.

PS: I don't want to give the wrong impression here. Loosing the job because of T, divorce and other things (my wife is dealing with cancer at the moment) are much worse than what I am having at the moment. Nevertheless, life is difficult if T joins the game.

 

@Martin69 --I think you may be right. When I'm not stressed my tinnitus is easier to manage. All these changes at work, plus the added responsibilities piled on top of my own are stressing me. That stress, combined with the T stressor is most likely what caused my setback. Also, I was trying to taper off a medication that really does wonders for me--not too smart on my part. When my T is louder I have more difficulty concentrating and that causes me frustration--more stress. I'm not as fortunate as you are with the money situation--my spouse is a cancer survivor and we lost our business in Hurricane Sandy. We are fortunate enough that we can live reasonably well on my salary while he puts the business back together. I told him that I don't care about the money--I'm just thankful that he is still with me. This past June he had a cardiac event. It gives one perspective.

We cannot let T beat us Martin--we really can't. If I don't get back to where I was, I will try something else--perhaps TRT. I won't give my life over to this--I just won't.

I wish your wife a great prognosis. Breast cancer is very treatable and survivable. I will keep her in my thoughts and you also.