I'm 16 and Paranoid

Hi! I'm not sure how to do this because I just joined after lurking, and I can't tell if this is tinnitus. I've been to the doctors and gotten a diagnosis but I'm honestly just so paranoid that I can't settle. So, for background information (and I'm sorry if I'm all jumbled up, I'm just really anxious):

As you can read, I'm 16 and I'm paranoid. I have pretty bad anxiety and what happened on the 28th - could have been earlier, I'm not sure - last month hasn't helped it much. Pretty much, I woke up fine that morning and went about my day and I can't remember how it started, but there was this sudden noise in my right ear only. I ignored it at first because it wasn't bothering me and I figured it would go away in a few minutes, worst case an hour. Unfortunately, I was wrong.
At the time, I couldn't tell you what the sound was. I think I just said it felt as though there was a bug in my ear, although the sound was a little different from that; maybe more obnoxious, like a pulse and it seemed to slow when I took deep breaths, so It made me think that it had something to do with my heart beat. Having suffered with it for a few days now, I can describe it as a mix between a pulse and a whooshing sound, as though there's wind in my ear. Sometimes it'd roar. It changes in frequency if i turn my head a certain way, swallow, lean forward, put my chin in my hand and slouch, bend down - but it seems to go away when I'm standing up. I can't hear it at all. Sometimes it goes away completely if I press a certain point in my neck near that ear. It can change pitch even if I'm sitting still and I've noticed that it goes away if I put..say, a plastic bottle up to my ear and cover it with the opening. I figure it's got something to do with the pressure.

I bared with it for that day but had a full blown anxiety attack on the second night, mostly because I'd decided that I should put water in my ear to see if it was something to do with wax - because I'm a genius. I know that water does nothing for that, but I was desperate for it to just stop. When I drained the water and sat up straight again, my left air released this high pitch 'eeee' sound, as though somebody had fired a gun in a car or let off a grenade next to me. It lasted for a second or two but it scared the life out of me and triggered my anxiety. I know that it was just the sudden change of pressure and balance or whatever, but it doesn't take much to set me off when I'm already anxious. I waited another day before convincing my mom to phone an appointment for me with my doctor. When I went to the doctors, he looked in my ear and checked my blood pressure (it was perfect) and said I had congestion (he'd asked if i had a cold previously, and I did.. but it was months ago) and inflammation, so he gave me what I believe were supposed to help bring swelling down. I can't remember the name but I know I had to take three a day for four days. I left a little reassured.

I finished that prescription yesterday but that night the pulsing got worse.
I should mention that if I lay on my right ear with it flat against the pillow, It'd go away. Also, If I lay down too fast or move my head or if I'm looking at my phone when I'm laying down and move it, my head spins - I initially thought I had fluid in my ear and it was distorting everything.
Well, that night, I couldn't even get rid of it by laying on that side and I honestly don't feel like the tablets he gave me did anything. I'm getting so anxious and frustrated. I know these things can take weeks or months to clear up but I'm SO paranoid that this will never go away, and I don't feel like I can live with it at all. I share a room so I can't put white noise on to block it out at night. Granted, it's a little easier to handle considering it goes away for periods of time in the day or at least goes quieter for a while. It tends to get louder if I run upstairs or do anything that'd raise my heartbeat.


Some of the symptoms I've had with it are:
- Ears popping. Both of my ears feel fairly full but this noise is only in my right ear. I can pop them (like most people) when I yawn, swallow, or do the The Valsalva maneuver, which can sometimes relieve it and sometimes make it louder because I guess my heart is trying to catch up from the oxygen being stopped temporarily.
- Throbbing. It comes and goes but I can often feel it pulsating through my head or in my ear and I feel as though it's timed with my heartbeat. Sometimes it feels like a vibration, a small tremor.
- It's not in my head. It's in my ear. I've heard tinnitus is usually in the head and you can't escape it, but I can block it out if I put something like a bottle up to the opening of my ear and hold it there. I'd still be able to hear it if it was in my head.
- When It stops for a while, I'll often have this 'pop' sensation and it'll go away for a minute or so. Sometimes there's no pop and it randomly just shuts off. I've found that if i lean to the side when I'm sitting, it'll get a bit louder sometimes.
- My heart seems to be beating stronger with this. I have no doubt it's related to my anxiety but it doesn't help the situation. I can't take my mind off it because, as I said, I'm an anxious person and I assume the worst in situations. I don't think it's there when I'm distracted or not paying attention to it, but It'll come back If I remember it's there. I don't think this is a case of me tuning it out because I know when It's there, I can feel it almost as much as I can hear it, especially when I have earphones in. I'm so paranoid with it that i hear phantom noises and if I hear a slight ringing (from the noises outside or my laptop), I get more anxious. It's like I'm just waiting for it to evolve.

I've tried things like vick, menthol crystals, and honey and lemon green tea (I hear it's good for congestion).

I think it's Eustachian Tube Dysfunction because my ears do feel blocked and I feel as though there's water that I just want to tip my head and get out sometimes. My doctor was very vague about what was in my ear and just said I had inflammation, I have no idea if he was talking about my ear or not because he mentioned congestion, but I know that congestion can clog the Eustachian tube and can cause the pulsing. I know that I'm not being rational here but I'm just so worried that it's never going to leave me, even though It's only been roughly a week. Will it eventually go away? How long could it take to leave?
I'm considering going back to the doctors in a week if it stays the way it is or gets worse because I feel no change from the medication and it's affecting my sleep. I know I'm badly congested from my last cold because swallowing food is annoying at times, but that's not what bothers me. I don't have any symptoms of congestion, no blocked nose (at least not in the sick sense, it's a little stuffy) or anything (excess mucus or phlegm in the back of throat are just the few symptoms i have). I guess it's just hard to trust it. My doctor is one of the best so he's not one who I usually question, but my paranoia gets the best of me more often than not. I also think I've experienced this in the past but it lasted only a few hours.

Anyway, sorry for rambling. Thank you~

 

Tried to edit but It was after the time limit. I wrote this during a mild panic attack but it has helped to clear my head and I'm thankful for the people who reached out. My tinnitus is very likely temporary (as the doctor said) due to congestion and ear blockage, so fingers crossed that It will go soon. Thank you<3

 

Welcome to the forum @Kibakiru. It is often said that a big part of suffering from T is mental and in your case it seems that your anxiety is making your adjustment to the new T a lot harder. Anxiety and stress can aggravate T so it is best to try to think positively about the situation. As you say, your T can be temporary and that from your description you can often make it go away. This is such a mild case of T compared to some members here that your reaction to it has contributed to your suffering.

So my advice to you is, besides going for treatment from your trusted doctor for ETD or other possible ear infection, is go look at strategies such as CBT, mindfulness, relaxation exercises or just learning to accept the situation as it is just so that your nervous reaction does not trigger the limbic system which can turn you into the fight or flight mode when reacting to T so adversely. Acceptance doesn't mean you have to like the situation or the symptoms, but that you accept that you may have a mild case of T, perhaps a bit of PT or blood-pressure related T, but that it is still quite mild compared to the chronic, loud, extremely high pitch dog whistle or loud low hum or morse-code like beeping or with multi-tones or with bad vertigo as in the case of Meniere's disease. By minimizing your T, by CBT related approach to counter your paranoid, anxious thoughts about your T, you can learn to cope with the situation with less panic and which is good for T.

There is no need to project into the future with catastrophic thinking for a temporary situation. You can suffer needlessly mentally like me when I was hit by ultra high pitch dog whistle T and severe hyperacusis. I had relentless panic attack and I erroneously projected that my future would be always suffering like that. How wrong. Today I live a normal, productive and absolutely enjoyable life free from the tyranny of T. If I had known that, the tremendous initial paranoid suffering could have been spared. Give it some time. Try to read up the success stories to know that people can get better over time, including the paranoid reaction to T. I list below some success stories. Hope you have time to read through them to learn some insights. Take care. God bless.

My story:
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

Young people like you getting better:
success story of 17 years old Zach:
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/fake-it-until-you-make-it.7590/

success story of Jari with T since 12 years old:
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/new.7670/

lana got T at 15 and getting better:
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/positivity.13050/