I'm Depressed — 18-yo with Tinnitus

Hi guys... I'm a 18yo student from Poland and I got tinnitus in June 2015 on a very loud screamo concert (Asking Alexandria). I didn't wear any protection because I thought it was just a one time event... And I had no idea of what it could do to me. I went to hospital asap, I got drugs, but it only helped for 10 days. The tinnitus returned and stayed.
Every day I'm feeling more and more suicidal.
I can't go to school without being almost scared to death of someone shouting in my ear. I don't feel comfortable when the whole class suddenly starts clapping hands or laughing very loudly and I have to cover my ears. My dad once said that if I do that, people will think I'm mentally ill. I've tried using earplugs in class but they caused my earwax to block my right ear's canal- now I can hear screeching even in noisy places.
My class and school are both very noisy and I'm afraid of them.
My ears hurt. It starts with jaw and goes up to my ear.
I hear it all the time. I can't concentrate, it bothers me a lot. I'm about to pass my A level examinations this year but because of my brain overwhelmed by thoughts and noise I'm not able to study.
It gets worse when I drink alcochol or smoke. I do these two activities because of the anxiety connected with T...
I am concerned that it's all my fault, standing in the first row and shouting like crazy without thinking of the consequences.
People don't seem to understand, they can't understand it may last forever and maybe I'm forever, somewhat, cursed. When I told one friend that I had screeching in my ears, she said "you have screeching in your brain"...
And another important thing... Music is my life. I'm afraid of picking up drums again and starting to learn scream/ growl.

 

What u describe that clapping is louder than usual is called "hyperacusis" it's good u went to the doctor straight away , stay away from loud music it's the most cause of tinnitus and rest you're ears for a few weeks from now I'm young like you I'm only 19 @Ichigo

 

I don't think I have hypercausis (at least not all the time, unlike my T.), I just know I have to avoid loud noise (just like my doc said) and noise is inevitable at my school. There are over 1000 people here and music that drowns their shouting out...

 

If you're ears hurt with certain sounds or loud sound it's definitely hyperacusis , yes avoid loud music that's for sure , if I was you (I'm not recommending u to do that) but I were u I'd be off school for a while until my ears are well rested

 

I can't be off school at all, probably. It's my last year there= a lot of stress and pressure before exams. And a lot of lessons and extra lessons, of course.
My ears sometimes hurt even with no sound, so I don't know.

 

Alright good luck with you're exams ! Take care of you're ears

 

Thanks. Hope I will be able to pass my exams well despite this sh*t.

 

Sorry to hear about your situation. I hope you find some help here in this forum.

 

Well my suggestion is still to use ear plugs at school if the loudness bothers you. But you said ear wax blocks you canal if you do that so maybe you can go to a walk in clinic and have them flush your ears of the wax. I did that at first too and it makes things sound different for awhile because you probably won't be used to having no ear wax at all. But it should help out with the ear plug issue. Also, if that noise never used to bother you and now it does I would say that's hyperacusis. What you have to do is slowly let your ears become accustomed to regular sound. It will take awhile but it will help with that. What my audiologist told me is to use the misophonia protocol:

Select your most favorite music and listen to it attentively once/twice every single day for 20-40 minutes. The music should have a reasonable stable level without going from very quiet to very loud.

The treatment consists of three-week cycles, repeated as many times as it is needed.
For the first, week, the sound volume should be set for the most comfortable level.
For the second week, you should set the level just one noticeable step louder than the most comfortable level.
For the third week, the sound volume should be increased by another step, that is sound is initially set at the most comfortable level and then increased by two just noticeable steps louder.

Then, this three-week cycle is repeated.

I too am young, only 20, and understand where you're coming from. My fourth semester of university is about to start. Anyways, good luck with school

 

Also you should try a few different kinds of ear plugs to see what works best for you. I use downbeats (off amazon) and they are good for everyday situations and come on a key chain so they are handy. I also just ordered a pair of surefire ep7 sonic defenders ultra (also off amazon) for louder things like work and hockey etc. Hope this helps!

 

I agree with others that you do have some symptoms of hyperacusis. When normal sounds that other people can bear and yet they are hurtful to your ears, then some level of H exists. That form of H usually comes after high pitched T from acoustic trauma (injury to the ears after exposing to very loud sound). I had that too. Luckily like many people with this type of H, mine just faded within the year it started. Hope yours will follow the same path. Try protect your ears with good earplugs for loud noises but don't over protect for normal ambient sounds. Good luck to you and God bless.

 

Thanks for your support.
I've had two audiograms and the doc said my results were perfect. I have no hearing loss at any frequency.
What are the chances of my tinnitus completely going away? Regarding the fact that I've bothered it a few times with alcochol (I drink occasionally), cigarettes (I'm not a regular smoker) and... guess what- a blowdryer - and the reaction is always a massive spike

 

No hearing loss...that must be a good sign.

 

Hi Ichigo,

No one can say what the chances are that your T will go away or not. I think the best way to think about it that you really can be okay and have a good life with or without T. Certainly, we all wish our T would go away, but most people get to a point where their tinnitus isn't very bothersome, or even not bothersome at all to them anymore.

Have you read the success stories section? There are so many people there who have had terrible T, felt as if they could not go on, and then time passed and things really got better. You haven't had T long, even though I know it feel like forever with every day that passes. Give it time, don't give up. We're all here for you.

Make sure to be good to your body, try to eat well and sleep. If you need to talk, always feel free to reach out

 

I really wish I could have a good life but my life is dull without music and I can't bear the thought of not going to any concerts anymore or stopping dreaming of being a drum master. Maybe if I was a classical music fan and nature lover I wouldn't go so crazy about my T.
The thing is, I can't just abandon my past life. It's like abandoning myself.
Next month I'm going to see the same band that gave me T. Probably not the wisest choice (call me stupid but I'm only a teenager, haha ) but at least I will find out whether I can go to gigs/ clubs or not and maybe become more positive about my symptoms and my life overall. Of course I will be wearing double protection and stay away from the speakers. I've never got a spike from loud environment (despite my blowdryer and a long ride in a car, I didn't use earplugs then) so I think I should be fine.

 

A lot of people feel this way. Tinnitus is a traumatic event for many, and those kind of events change us. It's not an easy thing to go through, so you should be patient with yourself.

Please do be careful at the loud event, Ichigo. There are lots of ways to enjoy music without putting yourself in harm's way. I still go to concerts on occasion with protection, but that was after I gave myself some time to heal. You have had it such a short time, exposing yourself to another concert so soon may not be a good idea. It doesn't mean you can never go to one again, but now is really a great time to take care of yourself and take it easy. Music will still be waiting for you after you've healed a bit.

 

Ichigo, i think you are going to have to abandon your intentions of being a drummer/musician
I don't think you can go to any concerts any longer either.
Your life will change into different things.
I haven't been in a movie theatre in over 2 years.

Often i do think about T. sufferers such as yourself. Those whos life was so much into Audio and music.

 

Please do the sensible thing and avoid any reckless behaviour with your ears. You are going to need them for the rest of your life, even more so if you want to become a professional musician. A quote from Lars Ulrich from Metallica that really stuck with me : ''Once your hearing is gone, it's gone.''

Suffering from hearing issues at such a young age is a warning if I ever saw one. I know I didn't back then and it sure did get worse.

 

your not alone, if you ever wanna talk let me know ill give you my skype user name or whatsapp number, actually if anyone here needs to talk about T or if your feeling down or depressed let me know ill give you my number, skype user name, anything i can do to help im here.

 

Ichigo, please know that you can absolutely still go to movies, see and play music with tinnitus. I go to movies as do many, many other people with T, you just wear earplugs. My family members and friends even wear them there now, and they're amazed they can still hear the movie just as well. Do not give up hope, just use protection, listen to your body and give yourself time to heal.

The truth is, none of this loud noise is healthy for anyone, tinnitus or no. One day, I hope people will wear earplugs as they do bike helmets and seat belts. For now, it's mostly us, but just know that these things that seem strange now will feel more normal in time.

 

You don't need to tell her that bro. many many musicians have T and go on either way. I'm not saying it's bad advice, but don't crush her dreams.

 

you have had a recent acoustic trauma based tinnitus. You should look into the retigabine post and see if is something that you might and are able to give a try.

 

You guys should forget that ringing in your ears.
You are not the only one who got it at age of 18. I have it too since my 18 and now im 22 i have it 4 years.
I'm ignoring it as much as i can. The best cure for it its ignore belive me.

 

@Ahriette

That's one way to go but not for everyone. In my case trobalt has worked very well and i went from a 6/7 to a mild soft 1-2 in less than a week (i have been on it almost a month and a week and sometimes outside i dont even notice it anymore). At the end of the day everyone chooses it own rode but at least they should now all the roads that they have available.

 

I know I should forget it but for the last few days I've been feeling a lot of pressure in my ears and head.
Maybe it's not due to the acoustic trauma I've suffered but it's my new hearing protectors fault. I went crazy about overprotection and wore them on every break eventhough they're not comfortable at all XD
Also, the doctor I've visited today said that going to the school prom (but hell, I want to go, it happens once in a lifetime...) might (but don't have to) put my ears at risk, at well as concerts. He stressed that alcochol can make the sounds I hear worse.
Honestly, I like to get drunk from time to time when I'm on a party. Once for three weeks maybe, sometimes once in a month. Apart from that I don't consume any alcochol brevages (don't think I'm addicted or something...) I've also decided not to smoke anymore.
Cigarettes are one thing, they aren't even fun, but drinking... That's how I forget about my problems (including my T.) + getting to know people is much easier and funny when you're drunk XD The problem is, everytime I drink alcochol, I get a terrible rumble tone and my tinnitus gets muuuuch worse. I have to wait for the next 4-5 days for my T. to subside.
Do you think that drinking can pose a long-time threat to my T.? Or are the spikes after alcochol just temporary? I don't want my, maybe, temporary T. to become chronic...

 

Been drinking and clubing in this 4 years. My tinnitus is same, nothing worse nothing less. I don't visit doctors anymore, they puts me in depression.
But if you want to be more careful, then stop drinking and stop goin on concerts, you can live without it.

 

I just wanted to update you. I don't drink anymore or smoke. I try to be gentle with my hearing but I don't protect my ears on daily basis.
I've been through a tough time but I managed to find a way out. How could I name it? Ignorance?
Now I'm feeling a bit anxious about forthcoming AA's show but I'm only going to their concert, not the support's one, and with protection: earplugs -25dB (or -35dB, idk yet) and Peltor -33 dB earmuffs on top.
And geez. I got M&G package aszdfghjkgfdsa this is a heaven for me, as I'm their biggest fangirl XD
If something happens to me, my life will become a nightmare but I think the risk I take could be the test of how my ears react to loud music with the biggest protection I could afford.
Being in a circle pit with earmuffs... I will need to hold them in one hand
Hope I don't break my bones or sth this time XDDD

 

Hey, I'm the same age as you are, and I know how you feel. That feeling that you are very afraid, how things will turn out. I too have school and I got to deal with loud noises at times. I don't wanna say much, but be positive alright?

 

Such bullshit advice. You may have downgraded your life and cut yourself off but that doesn't mean he has to. Plenty of musicians have T. I just got done reading Anthony kiedis' book Scar Tissue. He has it. He got voted healthiest rock star or something like that and is still thrashing. You obviously feel bad about how you let T affect your life but you have no business saying something like that to someone that is so vulnerable. He just got T and is in a panic and doesn't need your self absorbed, personally skewed advice.