I'm New Here, My Tinnitus Has Been with Me for 8 Months. :( Sorry This Post Won't Lift Your Mood

Please feel free to message me if you have moderate - severe T! I'm 20 years old and I'm heartbroken that for 8 months I have had permanent tinnitus. Please read my introduction story...

The way my tinnitus started was tragically ironic. I've been abused my dad (physically and emotionally) since I came into this world. On top of that, my first ever boyfriend was manipulative and wanted to take my virginity, so he coerced me into having non consensual sex which traumatised me in August/September 2015. He intentionally done this, ignored me afterwards and left me for another girl within weeks of forcing me to have sex against my will.

To deal with my feelings of depression (not to mention confusion), in March this year (2017), I took Citalopram. On the 10th day of taking Citalopram, I noticed a high pitched ringing in both my ears. I have never had tinnitus before in my whole life, so it was easy to tell the difference. It turns out that Citalopram is listed among drugs which are ototoxic. Ototoxicity is the property of being toxic to the ear, specifically the cochlea or auditory nerve and sometimes the vestibular system. The effects of ototoxicity can be reversible/temporary, or irreversible/permanent. Mine is permanent...

Imagine a loud, high-pitched whistling/ringing sound. Except the whistling ringing is not intermittent like a phone ringing, it is constant. Not just every minute of every hour... Not just ever second of ever minute, but ever millisecond of every second.

For 8 months, there has not been one second of silence. It is every second, 24/7. In the beginning, I was hyper-aware of it, but tinnitus masking therapy did help. Now, recently, it has gotten worse and tinnitus masking therapy no longer helps. I believe it affects both ears, but mainly my left ear.

I cannot live like this. I would rather have the truth than live in false hope, like I have been doing. Not only did it not get better or just stay the same but it has gotten worse over the months! I would have been able to cope if it had just stayed the same, but it has gotten worse. I wish no one would have implied that there was even a possibility of me becoming less aware of it. I DID become less aware after the first few months of having it... But now, it is not my awareness which has changed, but the actual sound has become louder and the tinnitus has a lot more (high-pitched) frequencies than it did before. The only therapy which produced a similar sound to my tinnitus no longer helps.

Cannot put my hopelessness into words. I don't know what is worse, the tinnitus itself or those with minor tinnitus not realising that tinnitus occurs on a spectrum and instead blaming the person who has tinnitus for being weak or having anxiety. The CITALOPRAM caused my tinnitus, nothing else did.

 

I believe Citalopram is Celexa. A friend of mine has been on that for a long time with no tinnitus. I tried it for a little while and quit due to side effects. No idea if that caused your tinnitus but it seems coincidental. I feel bad that your trauma caused you to take it in the first place and that you are so young. I am in the midst of loud noise atm, so was thinking of trying a AD myself to break the noise loop cycle. Maybe your stress is contributing? I assume you have talked to the person who prescribed it to see what they say? You probably have also seen a ENT and had a audiogram?

 

@jasmine
Awww, it breaks my heart to hear such a young person starting out in this world with so many hardships. Hopefully you can find some peace with your past and shape a bright future for yourself.
So, your tinnitus is due to a medication and not an acoustic trauma?

 

I've had T for a little over a year now. I too adjusted to it only for it to get worse(why I'm here only now). It's terrible, it really is. But you can overcome this, don't let this thing destroy you. I don't expect mine to ever improve, in fact, I expect it to get worse now. But that doesn't matter to me right now. I have goals, aspirations. And as long as I am still alive, I will fight to achieve them. I won't let the fear of this condition get in my way. Your tinnitus doesn't have to get better for you to. that still doesn't take the pain away, but i just hope that you can get better regardless of the sounds. I hope the best for you!

 

Jasmine - I understand your pain & hopelessness. Your description of your tinnitus noise is very similar to mine. You aren't alone. Ignore those rude enough to criticize those of us struggling not only with debilitating noise but may also struggle with depression, anxiety and hopelessness. We aren't weak. They have no compassion and that's true weakness.

 

Oh man, I blame this stupid drug as well. I've had mine for 2 months now and it is aweful. The only way I get relief is wearing hearing aids. For some reason, they work really well during the day. The only problem is at night, the Tinnitus comes screaming ten times louder from masking it all day, so I'm just trying to figure out how to get sleep at night. I may just start wearing my hearing aids 24/7. What a horrible drug, I wish Celexa was removed from the market! Anyway, I think 8 months is still early, you will get better. Don't lose hope. I'm right behind you and we can do this together!

 

Here is the truth (for me anyway): once you accept tinnitus (like religion), your nervous system will adjust to it. Sure, you will notice it (as I am right now), but it will not cause you to panic.

You have to think of it like this: there are estimates of up to 50 million people with tinnitus! The overwhelming majority of them live "normal" lives - work, raising families, etc. Just keep in mind that you are not alone!

 

I also have T for 8 months! I suddenly lost all hearing in right ear with T and Xtreme Vertigo. I am still dizzy and T drives me crazy sometimes too. I have found Gabapentin (need Dr prescription) helps me sleep and when I wake up T is lower (builds throughout day starting with coffee maker and faucet water). I take 75 mg Lowest Effective Dose (sometimes I have to take 150 mg). Is cheap $30 at Costco 30 pills at 600 mg that you split into whatever dose you want. Also, when really bad I put a $10 Conair Touch N Tone right on my ear and T stops for a few seconds. I am still looking for a cure, tho, and have not given up exploring relief. I will try the method that used to work for you. For future hope - AARP reported in 5-10 years they have gene therapy to regrow hair cells and nerve growth factors to reconnect inner ear cells to synapse. Maybe it will also cure T!

 

My heart goes to you i can't believe how cruel and unfair life can be. But we only have one life. You need more support. I carry on doing things I enjoy so it doesn't beat me. I've had severe depression before. Ill pray things get better on their own for you. You're too young to have so much heartache. I think you're fantastic personally

 

there's a company called neuromonics that makes a device that retrains your brain to lessen/eliminate tinnitus. here's a video of a veteran whose hearing was damaged by IED's
https://www.thedoctorstv.com/videos/tinnitus-relief

 

Hello everyone I recently suffered a ruptured ear drum from flushing out compacted ear wax. My family Doctor put me on antibiotics for two weeks. Afterwards my perforation closed and now this horrible noise has been non stop for the last week. Went back to the Doctor and he put me on Prednisone "Steroid"for 10 days. Has anyone else tried a steroid with any success stopping the noise?