Induce Steady Tinnitus

I have this super erratic tinnitus in my ear. When I'm calm, it just kinda clicks every 4 - 5 seconds. Actually, when I'm drunk and have completely cleared my head, this clicky shit is gone completely, but in my normal state of being, it's rattly / clicky / super hard to get used to.

I had an ear infection, and earlier on, when it was just a series of steady tones, they certainly freaked me out, but that was pretty easy to get used to. When those dissipated, I was left with a rapidly fluctuating tone. This erratic rattle / click / fluctuating noise is really hard to adjust to.

Whenever I get drunk, I notice that my ears ring at a very light, steady tone, and this is very easy and almost pleasant to listen to in comparison to this weird fluctuating clicky thing or whatever. And it kinda makes me want to somehow induce a permanent, steady tone in my ear to mask this thing. Obviously I can't be drunk forever (or maybe I can be, at least for the time that I'm here on earth, since NOTHING is forever.), but if I were somehow able to just create one single steady tone in my ear that I could listen to, adjust to, and most importantly, HABITUATE to, I'd totally do that. Because I have no clue how you habituate to a fluctuating tone.

Even the great Dr. Nagler had something to say about fluctuating tones. He said "you can HABITUATE to it, but I don't know how you COPE with it." It's somewhere on this very message forum. Yeah, there's a real confidence builder, seeing the most prominent doctor in the field saying that it's incredibly hard to cope with a fluctuating tone and that the most touted thing on this forum, habituation, doesn't actually mean "coping" with the condition. Someone else on this forum said something along the lines of how their "morse code" tinnitus, which is a pretty decent match for what I have, was "pretty minimal but still was able to ruin my life". Shit, seriously? Then I guess I'm pretty much screwed?

Mostly I just don't understand how, if my hearing is really actually damaged and tinnitus is filling that gap, it can just be a single click every few seconds with total silence inbetween. Because, what, my hearing is totally fine and undamaged for a few seconds? And for 0.05 seconds, it's so damaged that an erratic click has to swoop in and remind me of this? But even saying this, there's times where the noise is sustained for a longer fraction of a second, i.e. too long for it to be considered maybe just a quick spasm of my ear (unless ear spasms can create noises for longer than just a quick "click"?).

Everyone here has super bad tinnitus, and I see so many people say "it's ruined my life" that I guess I just lose tons of hope not only for my condition but for my life as a whole when I read most anything here. How is it any different for something to have ruined your life vs. just killing yourself? Either way, whether you killed yourself or your life was ruined, didn't you still not accomplish whatever it was you wanted to accomplish? People on this forum say that these sorts of things were induced years ago, and they "ruined their lives", and I can't imagine how it's possible to put the pieces back together if you haven't been able to do it for years. To me, that basically means you should probably just end it now, considering that our lives on this planet are finite anyway, so why even bother suffering through such a horrific condition that makes you feel utterly desperate and hopeless every single day of your life?