Is This the End of My Biggest Passion?

Hi guys!

If could get your knowledge on this one it would literally mean so much to me. As I am starting to freak out. I know that this post is long and I am sorry for that.

My biggest passion in life is maiking electronic music involving synthezisers and a lot of intense sounds.

Back in 2010 I got tinnitus after attending to a live show with music. I had two years after that with a lot of phobia for sound. I did use my earplugs almost at all time during 2 years. After a while I decided to stop and to live my life as I did before.

Until two weeks ago I had been home from work for about a week with some kind of flue and when the weekend came I decided to do what i love. Making music. When I was going to bed I did notice that my tinnitus had been a bit aggrivated and felt more intense. As this was something that would happen after exposure to loud sound. I did not have the sound level higher than I used to. I did of course crank the volume up at some points, just to get right feeling and power from the track I was working on.

When I woke up I did notice that the level of the tinnitus was still a bit intense. So I did not go back in studio until later that day. I was also very tired that day so I did not have a long studio session that day. Maybe for about 3 hours or more. I did use my speakers that day and not my headset. I was now again in fear of have aggrivated the tinnitus permanently. I have been to a doctor who has sent me to our local ear specialists. But I have to wait for about 2 to 3 months to get there.

My biggest question is if this is this the end of my passion? Will I not be able to make music anymore?

I know since my first experience with tinnitus that you should be careful with your ears and protect them. The first experiance I did use earplugs almost all the time for about 2 years.

But how careful shuld I really be? Should I stay away from making music? If so, for how long? I have heard people saying that there is a long period before you can start to introduce sounds again.

I have also heard some people saying that diffrent frequencies can do more damage than others. Like the 3kHz area. And also that certein sounds, like french horn sounds , even at low levels can be damaging.

I feel like I am once again falling back in to the same dark period with phobia of sounds. Is this the end of making music for me?

Thanks in advance!

 

Just one thing. Don't let T destroy things you do love because at the end you will have nothing to tackle the T.
As for the T, having flue might give you the feeling to have a louder T. I'm pretty sure a lot here have experienced the same thing.

As for the music being a bit loud. If it is for a short period, as far as I know the brain has some sort of auto-protection that reduces dB if it feels it is to loud. Now if you feel there are sound you can't handle, why not make others (friends, family) listen to your track?

 

Don't leave music completely. ALWAYS WEAR EARPLUGS WHEN IT'S LOUD. You don't want to risk this getting worse. Consider making quieter music.

 

Your body is telling you that something is broken inside your ears..don't ignore it ! my advice is to find another passion in life..there are so many other things you could do that do not represent such risks and can bring you the same level of satisfaction..unless this is your job and you depend on it

 

IMO you can still make electronic music but you can absolutely not go to clubs and loud events and just skip the ear plugs. I don't think it was a smart idea to just stop using them after 2 years because obviously your ears are already damaged. So while you don't need to wear ear plugs all the time you definitely need them if you want to enjoy loud music/attend concerts/ go to clubs. Plus I generally think even people without tinnitus need to protect themselves in clubs/at concerts. So to sum it up, you can still enjoy making music but you seriously need to protect yourself in loud situations without any exceptions.

 

I've heard this story a lot. People have some kind of cold or flu/fatigue and then expose themselves to loud noise or prolonged listening session at 'lower' volumes (more than 45 mins without breaks) and boom, and their T ramps up.
Makes me wonder if the auditory system is much more vulnerable then.
I do hope it's a temporary spike. Do give your ears and body a lot of rest and see if there's anything in your lifestyle you can change in the short term (sleep, food, stress,...)
It won't necessarily be the end of your passion, but you will have to go about things in a different way though.
When you said you 'lived your life as normal' again, did you protect your ears still from loud noises like bars, clubs, noisy trains and airplane travel etc?
Here's some inspiration from another dj who succesfully manages hus T and H:

 

Thanks a lot guys for the quick answers and tips you are awsome! Means a lot to me.

@Kotve That is actually I really good advice! Thanks!

@Sarah Russet I really hope that I can find a way to be able to do what I love.

@Bobby B I am afraid that it is what I have to do. It feels so sad though.

@seal After my period of constantly wearing the earplugs in outside situations I did at first gently start to get used to everyday sounds without my earplugs. And then it went on and I could tolerate more and more sound. I got to a point were the tinnitus did not bother me anymore and it felt like my ears had a higher threshold for sound levels. And I did go on like this for a period of 3 years without experiencing any trouble with my ears. When thinking about my aproach I realize that no matter what, it was a stupid call.

@Sebastians I am not a regular visitor in clubs and concerts actually. Even though I really love music. But of course I sometimes would go out to the club and visit resturants, and no I was not careful enough some times. I did not use my earplugs when doing everydays stuff like taking the train to work, walking through the city or going to the cinema. Sometimes the sound levels at some places would be unbareble which I then decided to leave as I could not stand it. I feel positive after watching the video you posted. It seems like there is a way through this. I am hopeful.

Something I also would like to point out is that I have never ever played music live nor is it my goals. I simply enjoy sitting in my studio having session where I play with sounds, designing sounds and producing tracks. The genres is often dominated by the low frequnecy area. But it is also very often that distorted and intense sounds are used in the mid to high ranges.

Loud sounds does not really make my ears feel painfull but I am a bit more sensetive to higher volumes of sound now. I think this has to do with me at this point over protecting my self from sounds and I have now gotten use to this level of sounds. I do not know if this is the way it works. It is only me thinking.

Since I did notice my increased tinnitus two weeks ago I have been home from work for some days and been spending my weekends and days mostly in quiet places. Only having the TV on in low volumes. It has now been 2 weeks and if I really get focused on somethings I get distracted and the tinnitus is not bothering me much. In quiet places I do hear it and it easily becomes a frustration.

I have also been woundering if it might have been a psychological part in this. As I have had tinnitus for about 6 years now I have had times where it has really bothered me and made me think about it more than usual. But not for longer periods. But this time when I started to focus on it I did also know that what I had done could possibly had caused some more damage to my ears. So my question is. Could this be a trick of the mind? That the tinnitus level is the same as before only now I have really gotten scared that I made it worse and really made my self belive it and putting all my focus on it? Just a thought I have been thinking about.

So another question for you guys is. Would it be harmful even sitting in the studio having the sound level at a solid 50 - 65dB, or in other words having the sound level low enough to be able to talk over it? Or will that be dangerous to the ears depending on which type of sounds I am using? I know much of my time is spent on listning really careful at every detail to a sound to get it to feel right. This process can take up to 1 or 2 hours at sometimes.

But no matter what I will never again go in to a loud environment without having my earplugs.

Thanks in advance!

 

@Rakkzo
I am a music producer too! I use ableton live 9 and fl studio 12...

we are in the same boat, dont feel alone

 

1. Stop going to live music events, it's not worth ruining your ears, even with ear plugs because of the constant level of loud noise without breaks. This is coming from another musician.
A good recording is a lifetime of enjoyment at a volume that you can control.

2.Use more reasonable volumes on a regular basis. Like 70dbC or less average. Especially when mixing, i'd keep it in the 60's range. No need to expose yourself to louder sounds than necessary. It's fine to do final mix checks on another day at a louder volume temporarily for short periods of time. But i'd do as much to protect your ears as possible so your ears are still intact in the long run.

 

You can still keep yourself in the industry but you may want to remodel yourself.

Instead of production perhaps consider composition and relearn music theory to the point where you can write music without necessarily being required to hear it. Production requires active concentrative listening. Composition does not. You'd still be able to apply your production skills but at times when you are more comfortable.

Or you can remodel yourself as a super producer with a number of ghost producers working for you. It's what the big boys (Max Martin, RedOne) do.