It Took 18 Months — Now I'm Mad.

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by annabel16, Feb 12, 2016.

tinnitus forum
    1. annabel16

      annabel16 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      New England
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma
      Hi there. On Labor Day at the end of the summer in 2014 my husband and I were ticketed guests in a Schooner Race aboard a reproduction tall ship. It was a gorgeous day. We're avid sailors, and experienced racers, but it hardly mattered that the crew aboard this family-run business didn't seem to know much about racing- the scenery was breathtaking and we were having a great time. The crowd on shore cheered us and to salute them the crew primed a cannon, cautioning us with "fire in the hole". I covered my ears, and waited, because they seemed to have a hard time getting the cannon to fire. After a few minutes we heard the blast, and shockingly, I immediately felt my left ear was blocked. I was tested, and found I have moderate hearing loss, tinnitus, and hyperacusis. After steriod injections through my ear drum and acupuncture to no avail I sought help from a psychologist whose tinnitus and hyperacusis are more severe than mine. He counseled me to try meditation, and helped me process this life changing event. I remember him spending several sessions trying to tease out any unresolved anger I might have, but I persisted with my thinking that this was just an accident, just one of those things. My husband was in touch with his anger....angry they apparently didn't know anything about cannons OR racing, and his life has been seriously impacted by my disability, too. Maybe I didn't get mad because I called the ship's owner and she was so kind and empathetic- a woman of faith- and she volunteered the information they would certainly never use their cannon again.
      Today was rough. Ears blaring, like usual, but I got some glimmer of hope because I have been on a waitlist for a tinnitus clinic for 16 months and finally successfully made an appointment for this April. Yay me. Rough though, because the fire alarm went off at work, and I felt embarrassed dumping my purse in a desperate panic to get my earplugs, then shouldering roughly past my co-workers to flee the building. My tears were from the embarrassment as much as from the shock and the pain. I don't know what made me do this....but a few minutes ago I went on the tall ship website and saw these words describing their sailing adventures: "Of course, a little cannon firing is in order to salute the spectators who have gathered to watch the show!"
      Now I'm in touch with my anger. I want to scorn them, humiliate them, sue them. I am just overwhelmed by what I'm thinking and by all of my emotions. After lurking here for the past 18 months I had to open an account because I needed to vent. Thank you for reading this long message. Thank you for giving me a place to let some of this poison out.
       
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    2. JohnnyMx
      Sunshine

      JohnnyMx Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Apr/2013
      Hello Annabel,

      You are very welcome to this forum, and we all understand what you are feeling now.

      You can come here to vent anytime :D.

      Regards,
      Johnny.
       
    3. Bobby B
      Fine

      Bobby B Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      long term NIHL and recent acoustic trauma
      I always keep a pair of high NRR ear muffs on my office desk just in case - earplugs take too much time to put in correctly
       
    4. Sailboardman
      Frustrated

      Sailboardman Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Florida
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/21/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Sensorineural hearing loss right ear.
      @Annabelle16,

      Most of us here vent perioically or even daily. This condition leads to anger, frustration, anxiety, you name it. Vent away! To have no cures or treatment for this, is the most exasperating thing!

      I'm also an avid sailor and have raced Hobie's, Lasers, etc. Small boats mainly. Sailed some J-boats too. I've been windsurfing for 20 years and became addicted to it! In high wind, it's crazy and fast! };-)

      Regards, Sailboardman.
       
    5. Sailboardman
      Frustrated

      Sailboardman Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Florida
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/21/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Sensorineural hearing loss right ear.
      @Annabelle16,

      Most of us here vent perioically or even daily. This condition leads to anger, frustration, anxiety, you name it. Vent away! To have no cures or treatment for this, is the most exasperating thing!

      I'm also an avid sailor and have raced Hobie's, Lasers, etc. Small boats mainly. Sailed some J-boats too. I've been windsurfing for 20 years and became addicted to it! In high wind, it's crazy and fast! };-)

      Regards, Sailboardman.
       
    6. Cheza
      Wishful

      Cheza Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Oregon
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Barking dogs/stress
      Go back in your phone records and find out when that phone call was made. If it was immediately following a visit to the doctor, so much the better.

      You have a direct cause and effect tinnitus. I would sue if I were in your shoes. Be aware that it will take a long time to get to trial, it will wear you down and increase stress. If you go to trial instead of settling, the defense will do everything in their power to convince a jury you might have gotten tinnitus anyway and that the correlation with the cannon was mere coincidence.

      You've been physically harmed, no doubt about it. If someone ran over you with a vehicle, would you let it go simply because you've recovered, even though you now walk with a pronounced limp? I wouldn't think so.
       
    7. annabel16

      annabel16 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      New England
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustic trauma
      Thanks for responding to me, I appreciate your care and attention. I called a few lawyers this morning, and haven't found one interested in a personal injury case. They would help me if I was interested in quitting my job and applying SSDI. My overall condition might improve if I had less stress in my life so I am thinking about it....on the other hand, I love what I do and I notice my problems less when I'm well occupied.

      Sailboardman, sailing is an amazing escape. It always has been for me. If the wind is really howling sometimes I can barely hear the T. One thing that happened a few weeks after my accident still astonishes me- maybe some of you have had similarly strange things happen....we were sailing one afternoon and somewhere in the distance I clearly heard someone yell "fire in the hole". I dropped everything and ducked below, and seconds later we heard a shot. My husband, with hearing much better than mine and sitting right next to me, hadn't heard a thing. I guess when you are attuned to danger your senses are heightened?
       

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