April 28, 1996 is when my life changed. While watching TV on an otherwise normal evening, I started to hear what sounded like a high-pitched hissing somewhere in the room. I thought it was coming from the TV, but after hitting the mute button on the remote, I discovered it was coming from inside my head and ears. Over the next year, I had every test imaginable performed - 3 MRI's, hearing exams, allergy tests, audiometric evaluations, etc. Everything came back normal. No hearing loss, no tumors, and nothing irregular. So I tried my best to live with it.
A few months after the first noise started, I began hearing a low-pitched hum in my right ear. It eventually spread to my other ear and entire head. This noise made the high-pitched squeal seem like nothing. The humming became the hell in my life and robbed me of any pleasure for about 5 years. If I listened to music or even strummed my acoustic guitar, the humming increased. It was like living on a propellor plane 24 hours a day. Sleeping was a rarity. And the depression over it all made me suicidal.
I was finally convinced to get on an antidepressant after trying everything else. My doc put me on Effexor XR, and within 2 weeks, the humming disappeared. I was ecstatic. For the next 12 months I had my life back again. Even though I still heard the high-pitched hissing, that horrible humming was gone. I could listen to and play music again. I clould go out and be with my friends again in virtual silence. But then one morning I woke up to discover that my year of freedom was over. The humming had returned, and along with it, the depression. I tried inceasing the Effexor, but that only made me feel like a zombie. My doc switched me to Paxil, Zoloft, and Wellbutrin over a period of about a year, but they didn't help.
Jump to 2005, I decide to move cross-country for reasons I won't go into here. A friend convinces me to get on Lexapro as this is the latest entry in the SSRI world. For the next several years, I feel good - depression is manageable, and the humming is long gone. I am functioning like a normal (whatever that means) human being again. But as of last week, the humming returned with no known cause. I'm attributing it to stress about another major life change I'm about to make, or it could be that my brain is malfunctioning again. I'm still on Lexapro, so I don't know what to do except ride it out. Hopefully, this relapse is temporary, and I won't even be thinking about it in a few weeks.
A few months after the first noise started, I began hearing a low-pitched hum in my right ear. It eventually spread to my other ear and entire head. This noise made the high-pitched squeal seem like nothing. The humming became the hell in my life and robbed me of any pleasure for about 5 years. If I listened to music or even strummed my acoustic guitar, the humming increased. It was like living on a propellor plane 24 hours a day. Sleeping was a rarity. And the depression over it all made me suicidal.
I was finally convinced to get on an antidepressant after trying everything else. My doc put me on Effexor XR, and within 2 weeks, the humming disappeared. I was ecstatic. For the next 12 months I had my life back again. Even though I still heard the high-pitched hissing, that horrible humming was gone. I could listen to and play music again. I clould go out and be with my friends again in virtual silence. But then one morning I woke up to discover that my year of freedom was over. The humming had returned, and along with it, the depression. I tried inceasing the Effexor, but that only made me feel like a zombie. My doc switched me to Paxil, Zoloft, and Wellbutrin over a period of about a year, but they didn't help.
Jump to 2005, I decide to move cross-country for reasons I won't go into here. A friend convinces me to get on Lexapro as this is the latest entry in the SSRI world. For the next several years, I feel good - depression is manageable, and the humming is long gone. I am functioning like a normal (whatever that means) human being again. But as of last week, the humming returned with no known cause. I'm attributing it to stress about another major life change I'm about to make, or it could be that my brain is malfunctioning again. I'm still on Lexapro, so I don't know what to do except ride it out. Hopefully, this relapse is temporary, and I won't even be thinking about it in a few weeks.
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