Music Producer / Engineer Working Better Than Ever

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Quetiapine_Kid, Oct 1, 2019.

    1. Quetiapine_Kid

      Quetiapine_Kid Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise, Anxiety, Medication
      I originally posted this elsewhere - perhaps this will help others in a similar position to me. It took a long time for me to realise I should be reading success stories instead of looking for cures!

      I'm two years in now. I work as a music producer / engineer - I rely on my hearing to make a living.

      I first noticed the 'sound of my brain' was louder than usual when my girlfriend asked if I could hear something while we were watching TV. I was already struggling with anxiety and depression at the time and realising I had tinnitus sent me into a full on nervous meltdown.

      I felt totally helpless. I was hooked on benzos just to get through the day, I was suicidal and was consumed by a deep sense of dread and despair. I'm bipolar and had been low before but never like this.

      I cancelled all of my work, thinking my career was over at 31. The only thing I was able to do all day was walk. I would leave the house for hours and just walk, never too far from home, to distract myself. When I got home I would pace up and down the hallway. To stop moving was to allow the tinnitus to take over.

      A few months in I realised I could handle some quiet, moody music (Acid Rain by Lorn was the gateway. Now one of the most important songs in my life!)

      Slowly but surely I was able to start introducing more music back in and about a year later I started making it again.

      This journey has been two steps forward, one step back. I have good and bad weeks, but it doesn't control me anymore. Some days I don't notice it until I'm relaxing on the couch.

      I've managed to get to a place where I can confidently say tinnitus has pushed me to become a better producer. I'm more focussed on sounds, I take far better care of my hearing and I swear my mixes now are better than they ever were before. I love mixing. I cherish each mix I get to do and my clients love the work I'm doing.

      I've gone through extensive hearing tests, exams, ENT apointments, psychologists, psychiatrists, acupuncture - all of it. It always comes back the same - I have excellent hearing, the tinnitus is in my head and the only treatment right now is habituation. I'm not 100% habituated by a long shot but I'm definitely on the way.
       
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    2. Mister Muso
      Busy

      Mister Muso Member

      Location:
      Scotland
      Tinnitus Since:
      2007 / April 2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud music
      Thanks for the encouraging story. Tinnitus for a musician is particularly hard to bear, even one who does it as a hobby like me, so it's great to hear about the light at the end of the tunnel for you.
       
    3. magiccat

      magiccat Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noice Induced
      Do you remember when you started to feel better? And how was year 1 compared to year 2? Happy for you and your success!
       
    4. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Quetiapine_Kid

      Quetiapine_Kid Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise, Anxiety, Medication
      @magiccat Feeling better wasn't a linear thing, very up and down. It probably took 6 months for me to start really thinking rationally about it and being able to appreciate my new normal. I was also going through other struggles as well so T wasn't the only focus.

      I still have bad days and weeks but they don't terrify me the way they used to - I'm far better equipped to deal with it now.
       
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    5. magiccat

      magiccat Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noice Induced
      I see and I agree on success not being linear based on my own experience as well. Im over a year in now and is still struggling a lot, but hopefully things turn around for me soon. All the best
       
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    6. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Quetiapine_Kid

      Quetiapine_Kid Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise, Anxiety, Medication
      Good luck to you. I'm having a bad week currently so really feeling your pain, but it does get better and on good days, the bad ones seems silly!
       
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    7. APJ

      APJ Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown - but probably rock music.
      Don't worry, you're not alone - I too am a producer (although in a more retired fashion) and my hearing is good, but like you I have high pitched ringing in either one ear or both, the levels vary day to day.
       
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