musician, tinnitus worsened, anxiety high

I've suffered from tinnitus for nearly 10 years. It has been a stressor all along, however managable as it was most noticable at night and dusguised by the sound of a fan. Over the years its gotten louder and more difficult to disguise.Especially during this last month. Im finding it hard to sleep and stay asleep as it wakes me up. But its also very distressing when the actual sound itself changes often...never really allowing me to get "used to it" so to speak.

Im feeling very discouraged and am hoping for some relief by joining this gorum, even if it comes in the form of just knowing im not the only one out there feeling this way.

Im also a musician and this of course causes major stress in this area as well...

Anyways, thats my little blurb for now...

 

Hi Jessica,

I've had T for 6 months and its been a nightmare for me. You are the first person I've heard say theirs has got worse, as has mine. Mine is louder and different to how it was when it started. Its changed several times over the last 6 months and I now constantly worry about what it's going to do next. It started off in one ear only and recently started up in the other ear too so now its in both. How a person is supposed to deal with that I dont know. I completely understand your feelings of not being able to get used to it because of it changing as that's how it is for me too.

You'll find a lot of really helpful people on this site (I'm not one of them as I'm in a mess!).

All the best.

 

Thanks Louise. Its actually the same for me with ears . It used to only be in one and now is in both and each one changing sounds. Its enough to drive soneone crazy. And thats what im fighting againat now. Not letting this completely consume my life. I could never have imagined being this effected ...but here I am. I worry all the time as well...and know that just makes it worse..but its hard not to.I hate feeling so pessimistic! Its so unlike me ...anyways..thanks for writing.

 

No problem Jessica. I wish I could offer more but I'm in a bad way too. Did yours start with noise trauma or dont you know? Mine started the morning after I went to a pub where there was a rock band playing, far, far too loud. I should've moved away but didnt.
I know exactly how you feel and how it is to have your life consumed by it. And to be worried about it all the time and know that you're not supposed to. I've had some very supportive posts made to me on here and some I've copied to my desktop to re-read to try and gain strength. There are a lot of us out here with this thing, you are definitely not alone.

 

Jessica, this is of course not a cure but have you tried using any maskers? I don't mean any expensive device, I used just an mp3 player with looped water sound and it helped me keep my sanity in the first weeks, when my T was at it's worst. I used to wear it for few hours a day, played at very low volume, just enough to take the edge off from the tinnitus.

You most likely know this, but since you are a musician, remember to be careful with your hearing and always use earplugs when in loud environment (for example when playing with a band etc.). It is really important and it can help preventing tinnitus from worsening in the future.

 

Louise,

I don't know how mine started exactly. I remember the moment it started, I was just lying in bed and my ears started ringing. It could very possibly be from one too many loud concerts I had attended in my younger years... but to this day, its really not known for sure. Of course now, I am extremely cautious about exposing myself to any loud sounds as much as possible... as I am paranoid of this getting any worse than it already continues to. I appreciate your honesty about you are feeling.. it is sometimes hard to admit feeling so down about this. And its even more difficult to try and explain it to someone who has never experienced it. So, writing about this, has helped me see how many people are struggling. I just wish medical science would work a little faster at finding some type of relief.

Fish- Yes, I do use masking as well. Water sounds seem to work best for me as well as a fan. I need to get better at listening to these things for longer periods of time when I am feeling overly anxious about it. I do my best to protect my hearing when it comes to performing.

 

Hi Jessica, My name is Waldo, I will also add on to this conversation, my tinnitus began 2 years ago, i am also a musician. ( WAS) had to give up my hopes and dreams also. My tinnitus began similar to many of the people here, very low ( HISSING SOUND with added PITCH) maybe a 2/10 all year round. Then last month, i noticed it increased to a 6/10 very stressful. I also think the cold weather makes it worst! I was told by a member of the ATA that it can be a possibility. But, like all of us here, i am also looking for help, advice and possibly treatment!

 

Hi Waldo, I am very sorry to hear you had to give up on music playing! Had you tried getting musician ear plugs made for yourself? I really have no plans on giving up playing music, as it is the thing that makes me the absolute happiest and one of the keys to managing Tinnitus is to keep stress levels low. If I stopped singing, I think I would lose my mind. I plan on getting some ear plugs made, I know a few musicians who rave about them. They are couple hundred dollars but last forever... I find it to be a great distraction from everything... but I am very sorry if it's just not possible for you to continue.
Have you found another hobby to replace it? Anything with excercise involed is always a good call. Just got back from a hike with my dog, feeling pretty good right now.
Hope today is a good day for you