My Onset of Tinnitus

Hello,
I developed moderate to severe tinnitus 2 months ago after having a severe brain injury 2 and a half years ago that left me deaf in my left ear. It's strange that the tinnitus has taken so long to come on, but that's obviously a good thing. Currently the tinnitus is really bothering me and I've been on the internet all day long looking to see whether tinnitus gets better. I understand that those with brain injuries have worse tinnitus than everyone else and I also believe that you can't just wear hearing aids to help the tinnitus (seeing as I'm deaf in my left ear). It seems that most people say they learn to habituate and a few say that it gets quieter over time as well, but there also seem to be people on the internet who have had it for longer than 5 years and have not habituated yet. My last resort is that I'll get a cochlear implant if this T continues and it will help a lot. Hopefully my insurance covers it. Does anyone have their tinnitus from brain injury and it's gotten better?

 

Also: I've contemplated suicide but I'm too afraid of heights (since my head injury was from a fall) and I can't own a gun because I've been court committed before

 

Hi Neil, I'm sorry to hear your story, I am 65 years old and developed a really bad case of tinnitus about 2 years ago and like you I was so shocked and desperate that I fell into a deep clinical depression and anxiety, I went for 10 consecutive days without sleep and barely eating, I talked to my loved ones about how to take care of my life affairs, family,work, money investments, properties and so forth since I knew I was going to take my life, I was actually planning how to do it, I don't own guns, I hate them, but there I was planning on getting one, I saw every specialist in the Washington DC area and none was able to help, the only support I had and kept me alive was that of my poor wife, children, grandchildren and friends, yes, I made it public that I was going through hell and could not take it anymore, I am catholic and believe in God and asked Him everyday for help. Neil, for the last 12 months I have been able to enjoy life again, I can tell you that that my life is back to normal, something I never thought possible, I do everything I used to do and more and let me tell you that the reason for that was my CHANGE OF ATTITUDE TOWARDS TINNITUS, yes, at certain point I decided not to fight it anymore, I decided it was not an enemy, I decided not to talk about it, not even think about it, never complain about it and you know? even though it is still there it does not bother me anymore, not one bit. I used to sleep to the sounds of noise machines at night, I don't use them anymore, I used to take sleep pills (doctors told me I would have to take them for the rest of my life) I don't take them anymore, I used to take antidepressants, I don't take them anymore. I realize now our bodies are such formidable machines, they come with their own tools to heal themselves when needed. Neil, mark my words, I still have tinnitus in my left ear, still as bad as day one, but I just don't notice it anymore, not even when I go to bed, the only time I do pay attention to it is when I wake up, yes because when I sleep I know tinnitus is off! even a few minutes after waking up is off until fully awake, is a mind thing, after shower and getting ready for the day I DON'T EVEN KNOW IS THERE! You know Neil, my father had it, he mentioned it but never complained about it, he complained about everything else that bothered him at old age, he died at 90, but never about tinnitus.
I hope my experience helps you understand and carry on with your tinnitus, it is not as bad as we fear. Contact me anytime you want, yours truly, Juan J. Navarro, tinnitus ex sufferer.

 

So sorry Neil to hear of your situation. I can't imagine, if I understand you have it in your left ear as well as being deaf in the same ear. I can't offer you any information about the complexity of your brain injury and its relationship to the development of tinnitus. But you have found a very supportive forum that I personally found about a week ago myself and I had suicidal ideations as well. I have finally got a few supports in place and found very supportive people on this board who warmly share compassion, ideas to try, a brother and sisterhood of suffers who try to comfort each other. So don't be shy to reach out. I keep hearing habituation is the answer to a better life. I had a mild case I guess for 8 years and then about 4 yrs ago it progressively got worse and about a month ago, it took me off work and nearly took my life. I guess everyone has a different journey and some take longer than others I hear. I guess I am just starting my journey too. Prayers to you.

 

Neil, don't give up on life so easily. You are relatively new to T and there are many treatment alternatives to pursue. Having suicide ideations is very common on newer T sufferers. Even Captain Kirk, William Shatner of Star Trek had thought about suicide during the initial dark days of tinnitus according to him. A few years ago my ultra high pitch dog whistle tinnitus plus and piercingly hurtful hyperacusis both hit me with great sufferings. T & H were so harsh to bear and then they brought on relentless anxiety and panic attacks daily and hourly, and these attacks brought on their own horrible sensations. I was desperate and the big S word was dangling in front of my tired and stressed out mind. I thought the end game is near and that I would never recover from that kind of sufferings.

Guess what, never say never. I am back to normal living an absolutely enjoyable and abundant life today. How I did it? By reading many many success stories to learn people's wisdom and insights to get better, by slowly converting to more positive thinking instead of caving to all the distorted thoughts. For brevity, if you are interested to read my story, here is the link:

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

In my story I mention I needed guiding lights, people who have recovered and are living happy & normal life. One of the guiding light is a pretty girl who was deaf at 15 and she has loud unmaskable tinnitus. Yet she decides to move on with her life despite her challenge. She even made it to university where she shot a tinnitus firm. I have posted her story and her film link on the Positivity Thread of the Support Forum. Please read her story and watch her film at page 15, post# 422 & 425 and hopefully you will come away realizing what an amazing story of courage and positivity this young pretty lady shows us.

Sometimes, guiding light like her can help lift us up to want to soldier on with our own T journey. But don't stop with her. While in the Success Story Forum, you can browse through so many success stories from many members who are doing much better. Hope you will come away with a firm belief that you can get well in time just like them. Never give up. Take care and God bless your recovery.

 

Thanks, all. I'm still wondering if anyone here has tinnitus because of a brain injury and if they could share their story.

I don't have any really consistent neck or head pain, and I don't have any consistent dizziness however I do experience vertigo infrequently.

I don't know if anyone knows who Marsha Johnson is, but she's a world renowned tinnitus expert and I live here in Portland and she's here so I'm set to see her in two weeks. I'll see what she has to say.

My T seems to follow this pattern: it is much less bothersome/quieter for a few days, and then all of a sudden it's much more bothersome and louder, and then I seem to habituate to it a little bit. However the trouble is my brain never truly habituates because it gets used to the quiet volume so it relaxes off and then the cycle continues.

 

Neil
I would echo what many have said already; take into account that you are in the beginning stages (the pit); it's a time of extraordinary anxiety and depression (and thoughts of suicide -- I did too). There are many treatment options -- hang in there.

As far as me personally knowing anyone that contracted T as a direct result of a head injury I would say no; however, most combat vets (I'm a retired vet) that complain of T usually relate it to persistent noise trauma on the battle field and it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to think some of them had their 'bell rung' (a hit to the head) during combat. Many vets have T.

You mention a pattern to your T; I am a cyclic T sufferer also and I'm fairly convinced the origin of my T is an upper cervical issue. Why the pattern? I have no earthly idea. I've observed it from all angles and points of logic and have experimented to no avail; it's a pattern and it is consistent.

This pattern did, in fact, delay habituation (sorry); but I did habituate and you will too. Also, once you get out of this extreme anxiety stage the T comes down and usually by that time you have gained some experience dealing with it (kind of a win-win). So take heart, you will get out of this pit and count it as a blessing that you do get some quiet times (even though it delays habituation).

Do your best not to spend too much mental/emotional energy on figuring out the pattern (it defies logic). Energy is far better spent working through depression/anxiety and simply learning to accept it (not like it, just accept it).

I have to laud @Juan Navarro for his testimony; truly moving and 'truly true'. You will habituate and T will not be the boss of you -- but it is a very individual journey.

Mark

 

Hi Neil-

I had a very bad fall and 2 days later had the onset of T. This happened 6 months ago. The first 3 months are VERY difficult. Not until the last month have things gotten a bit better.

Although your injury likely caused cochlear or nerve damage I find it very unique that your T did not come on until 2.5 years after your accident.

Where did you hit your head and do you have any other symptoms? I assume it might have been a skull fracture?

Hang in there. Should get better with time although it's very difficult the first 3-4 months.

 

This is a weird case, I do not think that there is 100% chance that your tinnitus is caused by that old brain damage, it might just be from something else or idiopathic as many others are. Also it would be bad to do suicide so quickly as you might adjust, it may go away or you may find ways to make it quiet as there are some new drugs that influence tinnitus.

 

Also with head injury induced T there is no conclusive opinion whether it is permanent or temporary. Many athletes had Tinnitus that went away after 6-12 months.

 

Thanks again.

One reason I think the tinnitus is permanent is because I have it only in my deaf ear and I am deaf. So yeah. As for the anxiety, I've had it bad and had this feeling of disconnect which I'm having right now that was not as prevalent before the tinnitus onset. Lastly, I did not have tinnitus for 2 and a half years however I did feel pressure and/or the sound of a deaf ear (whatever that sounds like). In other words, maybe this was building for a while (but it never got progressively louder).

 

hi Neil.please try to hang in there.i had a really bad concussion 2 months prior to my onset of pulsatile tinnitus. most doctors and specialists didn't think the pt was caused by the concussion because of the 2 months in between.but like one doctor told me theres no way to know .I know what is like to feel suicidal.2 to 3 months in I was in that state.its absolutely terrifying.but thank god I made it thru. now almost a year in im doing a lot better .someone on this forum wrote suicide is irreversible.in my darkest times I always remembered that statement.things can get better and there are wonderful people here for support.thanks billy43

 

Yeah I was really in the dark for the first two weeks and then I began to think that I might live with it, as hard as it can be. Sometimes (particularly when I'm out and about and the sound is masked and/or I'm distracted by other stimulus) the tinnitus is not as bothersome whereas other time it really bugs me (like when it's quiet in my house).

Also: I'm not sure if anyone knows about this but it would certainly help: I've developed something where I have a bitter taste in my mouth all the time and I'm on an anti-psychotic drug that's extended release and the taste fades as the month goes on (furthest from the injection). I ask because a website listed mid ear infections as being a cause of bitter taste. The reason I don't think it's the medication is because I've been taking this drug for a year now and only within the last 2 months has the bitter taste started.