My Story (1 Week In... Kind of)... All Kinds of Tinnitus

Hi all.

Thought I would share my story of “T” so far……

So, a few months ago I noticed that I was getting a pulse sound in my right ear, normally when I was sat down. It would only happen maybe once a day, for a few seconds, then everything would be back to normal.

Prior to that I also noticed a couple of periods of vertigo. Nothing too bad, just enough to notice and think maybe I shouldn’t ride my bike to work that day.

Fast forward to the present…I had a cold a few weeks ago. Nothing too bad, a tickly cough and running nose. That lasted about a week and cleared up about 2-3 weeks ago. However, last week, I then noticed the “normal” ringing in my ears (predominantly, right side) and knew straight away what it was. Ironically, I just thought “great, I have tinnitus”, and went to sleep.

To be honest with you, it’s not that bad. I’m sat hear typing this now in a quiet room and can barely hear it. However, that’s not stopped me hearing it at night. I’m sure we’ve all had those nights when you lay there hearing it, wondering, “what if it gets worse”, “can I cope”, “I’m only 32….40 more years of this!!! You read horror stories online! That was my “bad” night, and it was the Friday just gone. Since then I’ve become more anxious about it, sleep has got worse, I’m starting to withdraw and panic!! . I’m trying to get myself booked in to see my GP (easier said than done) just to get it made official.

In terms of my past. Well, have I listen a lot of loud music through headphones, yeah probably too much but not more than everyone else. Same with clubbing too (once a week max…was never a big fan).

Speaking of fans……..White noise. Now, it’s always been a running joke among my friends about my white noise, or a fan. I’ve used them since uni (12 years ago) to mask sounds of people drinking etc. So when my T started “properly” last week, I thought, well, it’s okay, I used white noise anyway, ill cope. But I’ve found I can still hear it over my fan. In fact, I think my fan makes it worse. I noticed the other day listening to the radio in the car that someone talking on it there was my T behind it (still only quiet). Turned the radio off, it went away. I also think it does it with TV, the extractor fan in my bathroom, even my shower!!! However, and here’s the big issues…… Im nuts!!!!!

Okay, to quantify the above comment, I’m mean I can get obsessive. I had a couple of periods of insomnia in the past simply by getting stressed about not sleeping. Since my T started last week, the amount of websites I’ve looked on… treatments I’ve started to look at….I keep sticking my fingers in my ears to isolate the noise…just to check it’s still there. Are the sounds I’m hearing over my shower real? I’ve hear sounds over my fan before and had to turn it off to check, we’re talking birds singing, kids playing, someone in the house etc etc…your brain and make stuff up with white noise.

So, it may seem ironic signing up to a forum about T when one of the main recommendations is to try and forget about it, especially as mine is not that bad. It might also clear up soon. You hear that cold can cause long lasting inflammation (I do feel pressure/ache under both ears occasionally), but once the inflammation settles down the T goes away. But I’m thinking of that as a bonus, for me, it’s here to stay. So, for me, this forum is therapy. My Dad has T, he once said that he wouldn’t wish it on his worst enemy (hence I’m not going to tell him I have to too). He also likes silence, something maybe I’m thinking about instead of white noise. However, my parents recently bought a new holiday home since retirement, and the first night they “both slept like babies” on the first night, so anything is possible.

So, this is me. More scared then I should probably be.

Hi

 

Welcome Burnsie. Loudness of T can definitely affect a victim a lot more than mild T. However, since reaction is also a big part of the T suffering, even mild T can be a hell for someone who likes to shake off every trace of that sound. If that objective is not met, then depending on the individuals' character background, someone can go nut over seemingly mild T ringing for a long time. Perhaps to cut down the averse reactions, you may want to try masking the sounds. By being able to have some sense of control over the T sound with masking, you will have better emotional composure to deal with the mild T. I used to need full day masking - ipod for masking on the go, PC at work and at home loaded with a free sound generator 'aire freshener', and a sound machine for masking at bed time. But I slowly get better and wouldn't need much masking at all, as the body is slowly getting used to the ulta high pitch dog whistle T. On TT we have a nice thread with links to masking sounds as well advice for newer sufferers. Take good care and God bless.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/panic/

 

Hello Burnsie.

You're not nuts. I can equate to a lot of what you've written. I was a carer for my 93 year old Mother for three years at home. She died in Dec 2014 and I'd also lost my job by then. The stress of caring for and then losing her put me into a deep breakdown which has lasted all of 2015 so far. This is my third breakdown. I suffer greatly with anxiety and I'm also an obsessive.

My first spell of tinnitus came in 2009 but was slight and eventually disappeared. It returned in Oct 2014 and just about tipped me over the edge. Mine is mild and I score around 22-24 on the Tinnitus Handicap Inventory. However, my anxiety coupled with grief has kept me ill for months now although I am much better than earlier in the y(ear).

Prolonged stress caused my T. I never expose myself to loud noise at concerts or gigs or anything like that. I only hear it in bed really and sometimes it goes completely for a while, but breaking the tinnitus-fear-tinnitus-fear cycle can take a long time. After your body plays such cruel tricks on you, it takes time to build up trust and confidence again. It's pointless telling someone with a similar character to me to stop listening, testing and monitoring because if I don't, I become more anxious anyway. I have mild OCD as well which can hold me 'hostage' as I feel that if I don't do a certain thing, there will be worse to follow.

I sleep very well due to my medications and a gentle 'babbling brook' noise from my sound machine. I'm hoping that I won't need it for good. I just want to work again, earn again and travel again. Anxiety has been with me on and off since childhood and has even prevented me from having any lasting relationships with the opposite sex. I'm 52 now and this hurts a great deal.

The trouble with the internet is that there's a lot of scary stuff mixed in with the positive and it is possible to become 'hooked' on it to regularly find helpful people/articles. Unfortunately, when I find one, I search for another and another which means that I usually bump into some bad stuff along the way so the spirits sink again until it's time for another internet 'fix'.

You should try and keep your fingers out of your ears if possible. My Mother used to say 'don't put anything in your ears except your elbows'.

Cheers