Please God Save Me from This Torture

[Lost life]

I pray and pray for God to save me and still I suffer. I'm trapped on this laptop chasing any and everything I think might help me.

Being tricked by my own mind I'm better, I'm not better, it's louder, it's lower.

I've cried every day for nine months.

Pulsatile tinnitus. Regular tinnitus. Hyperacusis.

The pulsatile tinnitus is the worst, pulsating in my head 24/7.

I love my wife and kids so much but this torture puts some kind of wall where I can't seem to engage them any more, my brain is so distracted, I just want my life back. God please save me.

 

[jjflyman]

I pray and pray for God to save me and still I suffer. I'm trapped on this laptop chasing any and everything I think might help me.

Being tricked by my own mind I'm better, I'm not better, it's louder, it's lower.

I've cried every day for nine months.

Pulsatile tinnitus. Regular tinnitus. Hyperacusis.

The pulsatile tinnitus is the worst, pulsating in my head 24/7.

I love my wife and kids so much but this torture puts some kind of wall where I can't seem to engage them any more, my brain is so distracted, I just want my life back. God please save me.

I wish no one had to suffer from this. All I can say is you are not alone in your suffering. Maybe it will fade over time.
If Your T fluctuates in volume, maybe it will eventually resolve itself. I'm 15 months in my T (acoustic trauma) and it has lowered 80% in volume. It still bothers me, but it continues to improve. Maybe yours will too.

 

[Andrei90]

I wish no one had to suffer from this. All I can say is you are not alone in your suffering. Maybe it will fade over time.
If Your T fluctuates in volume, maybe it will eventually resolve itself. I'm 15 months in my T (acoustic trauma) and it has lowered 80% in volume. It still bothers me, but it continues to improve. Maybe yours will too.

Did it actually improve by itself or did you habituate? Have you done anything to adjust such as wearing plugs outside?

 

[Michael Leigh]

I pray and pray for God to save me and still I suffer. I'm trapped on this laptop chasing any and everything I think might help me.

Being tricked by my own mind I'm better, I'm not better, it's louder, it's lower.

I've cried every day for nine months.

Pulsatile tinnitus. Regular tinnitus. Hyperacusis.

The pulsatile tinnitus is the worst, pulsating in my head 24/7.

I love my wife and kids so much but this torture puts some kind of wall where I can't seem to engage them any more, my brain is so distracted, I just want my life back. God please save me.

HI @Lost life

I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time. When a person is affected with tinnitus and hyperacusis to the extent that you are, it is best to seek professional help with a Hearing Therapist or Audiologist that specialises in the treatment and management of tinnitus and hyperacusis. Usually there are different treatment options available or a comibination of them. Sound therapy, counselling and medication.

Hope that you are able to get some help soon.
Michael

 

[DebInAustralia]

I pray and pray for God to save me and still I suffer. I'm trapped on this laptop chasing any and everything I think might help me.

Being tricked by my own mind I'm better, I'm not better, it's louder, it's lower.

I've cried every day for nine months.

Pulsatile tinnitus. Regular tinnitus. Hyperacusis.

The pulsatile tinnitus is the worst, pulsating in my head 24/7.

I love my wife and kids so much but this torture puts some kind of wall where I can't seem to engage them any more, my brain is so distracted, I just want my life back. God please save me.

Hi there,

Can you elaborate a bit on what you think has caused/contributed to your t and h?

Who have you consulted? tests?

I received my own adipose derived stem cells last May. This helped my h significantly and I have noticed that it has improved the intensity and frequency of my spikes also. I think my t has backed off too, but this could also be habituation at play. Maybe you could consider stems?

If you are near Mitchigan, you may be able to take part in Dr Susan Shore's trial. You should have received an email about this from tt?

ive been where youre at. it really sucks, and you cant imagine ever getting your life back, but you will.

Its still early days for you. I am a little over 4 years in with t and h, and there are still the occasional day when i feel a bit anxious about my t. But, i mostly dont think much about it anymore.

dont give up. your life is not over. were always here to listen and support you.

 

[jjflyman]

Did it actually improve by itself or did you habituate? Have you done anything to adjust such as wearing plugs outside?

It is improving by itself, not habituation. I used foam plugs for about a year when I would go out to stores and restaurants. ect...
The first time 12 years ago it went completely away in just under 2 years. This time it's 80% gone in 15 months, I am still hoping for a complete recovery. I didn't see a lot of improvement for the first 4 months, but then it started slowly fading.

 

[Jiri]

It is improving by itself, not habituation. I used foam plugs for about a year when I would go out to stores and restaurants. ect...
The first time 12 years ago it went completely away in just under 2 years. This time it's 80% gone in 15 months, I am still hoping for a complete recovery. I didn't see a lot of improvement for the first 4 months, but then it started slowly fading.

You're one of the best people on this forum to help others restore faith in recovery, no doubt. If what you say is true and you're not just making things up, then we all have hope for better tomorrows - invaluable.

 

[jjflyman]

You're one of the best people on this forum to help others restore faith in recovery, no doubt. If what you say is true and you're not just making things up, then we all have hope for better tomorrows - invaluable.

Thanks. No, I'm not making things up. Most (acute) noise induced T resolves itself within 2 years.(I'm living proof 2 times) Long term noise exposure has a better chance of being permanent.

 

[Jazzer]

I pray and pray for God to save me and still I suffer. I'm trapped on this laptop chasing any and everything I think might help me.

Being tricked by my own mind I'm better, I'm not better, it's louder, it's lower.

I've cried every day for nine months.

Pulsatile tinnitus. Regular tinnitus. Hyperacusis.

The pulsatile tinnitus is the worst, pulsating in my head 24/7.

I love my wife and kids so much but this torture puts some kind of wall where I can't seem to engage them any more, my brain is so distracted, I just want my life back. God please save me.

@Lost life - (can we call you anything else?),
I so wish I could help you.
We all suffer so much.
This torment is undeserved.
I've been in hell with it also, and like you, I search for help and hope.
Things that have helped me:

* sleeping deeper and longer, with the help of Melatonin,
* practicing a meditation exercise, usually first thing in the morning,
* reaching out to those I love, wife, children, grandchildren, pets...etc....loving others truly helps me so much, even when I'm sufferingZ
* admitting to my lovely misus that I'm hurting, and having her put her lovely arms around me, and telling me I'm going to be okay.
* coming on here, and airing my pain and frustration, and feeling the warmth of genuinely good people, who also suffer.
* encouraging myself with a personal mantra, when times are really tough.
* Please hang on my friend.
If you follow through other histories on here, the great majority of sufferers find some improvement, some easing of their symptoms.
Very best wishes,
Take care
Jazzer x

 

[Jiri]

Long term noise exposure has a better chance of being permanent.

Would you consider living in a busy city, like London and working for the past 3 months as a bartender as a long term potentialy dangerous noise exposure? I won't lie we went clubbing during my undergrad 2 - 3 times a month on average.

 

[jjflyman]

Would you consider living in a busy city, like London and working for the past 3 months as a bartender as a long term potentialy dangerous noise exposure? I won't lie we went clubbing during my undergrad 2 - 3 times a month on average.

Loud cities would not qualify, but bar tending if there is loud music might. Clubbing could be a problem if there is loud music. IMO, "long term" is more like factory work, or something like that, where every day exposure adds up.

 

[Jiri]

@jjflyman I see. Well, it was just a gastropub. It could get loud especially during Fri nights and weekends when there were lots of ppl but only radio was playing.

Yes, clubbing and loud music. We used to love it. Still 2 - 3 times a month Fri nights at max? I honestly don't know...

 

[Andrei90]

Thanks. No, I'm not making things up. Most (acute) noise induced T resolves itself within 2 years.(I'm living proof 2 times) Long term noise exposure has a better chance of being permanent.

I'm happy for your recovery. Hopefully, the noise will clear up completely like the first time. Unfortunately, mine was probably caused by long term noise exposure so I won't be so lucky. It slowly started creeping up on me and I ignored because it was so easy to tune out. I sometimes wish it wasn't a soft hiss at first because I would have reacted much faster to a high pitched tone.