Well, the first month was hell, no two ways about it. It started at the worst possible time, I was on vacation in Quebec visiting my family for a wedding, and the drive there I noticed the ringing in my right ear. I figured, eh, it'll go away. Well, the next 7 days at my grandparents' place proved otherwise. When I realised it wasn't going away, I had what I can only describe as a panic attack. I must have looked nuts to my friends, family, and co-workers. From their point of view, it was a total personality change. I called in sick all the time at work, obsessing over this loud tone in my right ear. I had a very mild head injury a few weeks before it began, but I kept telling myself it couldn't be that... but could it? Who knows at this point. I have gone to one too many concerts as well in my life and was perpetually glued to my headphones blasting Korn and Oasis at high volumes as well.
Nonetheless I obsessed over the noise, Googled like crazy, and was completely unable to sleep. I was always on edge and life seemed pointless, the darkest depression I have ever known. Anxiety was my new friend. I quit smoking, switched to decaf coffee, and cut out booze, and I didn't even indulge that much in any of those things prior. I blew money on chiropractors, acupuncture, and bio energetic testing, hoping and praying for either a cure, or relief, something! Or for the noise to just go away. It consumed my life for the next few months, and combine that with the lack of sleep, I was absolutely crushed.
They say time is a great healer and in some cases I believe that. I got my hearing tested, no hearing loss which while it drove my nuts (because I'm thinking what is causing this???), put me at some ease. I still have my hearing. Then, one night, I achieved sleep on my own. A small victory to build from (there were many mental setbacks I assure you). And I guess as time goes on, my attitude towards this went from manic, to angry, to depressed, to slightly annoyed. I think I'm at a point now where I'm almost, almost indifferent. I still hear it, but there's not much I can do about it. Your brain I think adapts to it.
To answer your question, I'm more relaxed, more like my old self (about 80% there), not obsessing as much over the noise. I had a moment today while I was walking by the beach in front of my house and it hit me, oh damn, I hadn't checked out TinnitusTalk instinctively like I always do. That was a bit of an "a-ha!" moment. I'm back to playing my old sports and I never gave up my other hobbies like movies and meeting my friends at the pub. I'm not where I want to be just yet but if it's any consolation, if you were to tell me 3.5 months ago this is where I would be mentally and coping wise, I would have laughed like an evil villain and told you to get the f*** out of my face.
Also! My doctor was useless and this reinforced why fake it till' you make it was all I have, but I would not rule out a visit. Because, there's always things like eustachian tube dysfunction that can cause it, or maybe a neuromuscular dentist to rule out jaw problems (all closely connected, can pinch auditory nerve). My doctor, he only wanted to give me clonazepam, which with a quick Google search, I refused to take. I am still awaiting on an ENT visit though, just to rule out anything else major.
