Question About Priorities: Give My Ears a Break, or My Nervous System?

I REALLY struggle with hearing other people at my office. I have OCD tendencies, so people can be loud and distracting. Unfortunately, over the years I've drown out their voices with white noise so much that I can't bear to hear them at ALL now. Stupid little things I hear will put me into an instantaneous rage (that I hold in and not expose to others). I think I've made myself too sensitive to other people's sounds by isolating too much. It might have something to do with how I developed tinnitus as well.

So I've been working on mindfullness and trying to let myself hear other people's rude distracting noises, feel my feelings, and then try to stay in the now. It's not an easy process and I've learned I can only do it so much and then take a break using headphones and white noise to drown them out again.

Here's my problem: I'm afraid all this sounds from my headphones (which are over-the-ear noise-cancelling) is not giving my ears a break, which could be bad for the tinnitus. On the other hand, I've been reading how important it is to handle stress so you don't get tinnitus spikes. If I take off the headphones, I'll be stressing out from the noise.

So now I'm trying to decide which is the priority: My nerves or my ears? I don't have the volume too loud, and the noise cancelling helps. My ultimate goal is to work on my mindfullness to the point where I can handle hearing people all day again.

Thanks for ANY feedback.

 

I suggest you see a doctor or therapist about CBT. They will be able to help you deal with the stress and irritability you are having.