Scared and New

Hello,
My name is Claire and I am a faithful follower of Jesus Christ, mother to three, wife to one : ) and a nursing student in my last semester of school in Western New York. I have been spending most of my days crying over the past three weeks due to tinnitus in my right ear and hearing loss. I saw an ENT yesterday and he told me that what I thought was a sinus infection turned out to be a viral cold that settled in my ear and destroyed part of my right ear nerve, causing hearing loss of high pitched noises (would explain the dizziness I had!). He said it was strange because I had no other hearing loss, just the highest frequency of sounds. He started me on 60 mg of Prednisone for one week with tapering doses the second week. He said I have a third of a chance of my hearing completely returning, a third of a chance of it getting somewhat better and a third of a chance that it will not improve at all. When I asked him about the tinnitus, he said I have a 98% chance of it going away.

He's a good doctor and I've heard great things about him. I'm not happy about the hearing loss, but the tinnitus is what scares me the most. I cry and cry and cry and sometimes the anxiety is so bad I feel like throwing up. School has become VERY difficult because I can't concentrate. I've worked SO hard for this degree, I will be done in May, and I feel like it's just slipping from my grasp.

Does anyone here have experience with viral caused tinnitus? Does anyone have any advice or support? My family and nursing professors have been very helpful, but most of them can't relate to what I'm going through. Help!!

 

I think you should finish your schooling. I mean by that try to stay busy. The last thing you want to do is just sit around waiting for it to go away.

You're panicking right now, which isn't unusual, I did too.

I think it's important to remember that having tinnitus does not mean someone suffers from tinnitus.

Over 75% of people that get tinnitus naturally habituate to it. In case you don't know what natural habituation is, it's where you get to a point where you do not notice your tinnitus unless you think about it. So like some people you may entirely forget about your tinnitus.

What's your hearing loss like? Mild, moderate, severe?

 

Claire
I, too, am a follower of Jesus Christ (and T sufferer for a year now); my pastor also has viral caused tinnitus. I wish someone had told me this at the onset -- take deep breaths and relax as much as you can, God is in control, He hasn't 'kicked you to the curb', this has not taken Him by surprise; then start accepting your situation (it's manageable and your life WILL continue as usual -- after a while). Yes, viral tinnitus can go away on its own (it did for another buddy of mine).
I definitely understand your urgency (just about done with your degree, need to concentrate); my tinnitus hit at the most in opportune time as well; I had no idea how I was going to function (scared to go to work or do anything). I remember feeling so isolated because it's nigh on impossible for non-T sufferers to really relate (family included).
After a year of tinnitus I can honestly say my best years are ahead of me and T is now 'sitting in the back of the bus'; it will always be with me but it does not rule nor define me. Even though my job situation became ludicrously stressful, I made it through.
Tinnitus is like a tiger in the room; if you fight it (or stare at, or concentrate on it) it's gonna come after you and consume you, if you run from it (well, it's a tiger). You must accept it; once you do, you can begin to relax (work with it) and soon enough the positive thoughts come back into your life. You will start to realize it is just a noise (can't hurt you); it's a noise like any other (like the noise from the air conditioning or the people talking in the next room). After a while, it loses its bite (turns into a whiny kitty).
This can take a while, be patient. Tinnitus is not for the weak. I did 20+ in the military and have been in many tough situations (3 wars); tinnitus took me to my knees -- but it didn't have to (had I taken the right steps early on).
For what it's worth, I got a lot of help from Nebraska Hearing Instruments (hearing aids with targeted white noise generators); they have been life savers
I will pray for you Claire; I get the impression you have a lot to live for and to give to others; you WILL be back on track.
Mark

 

Hi NeoM,
Thanks for responding. My hearing loss mild in my right ear and I also am having some mild problems with hyperacusis in that ear. You're right about staying in school and staying busy, it's just very hard. I feel like all I can think about is this stupid ringing in my ear. How long did it take for you to adjust to your tinnitus? What is your's from, and has it improved any since you got it?

 

Hi Mark,
Yes, I try to remind myself constantly, "God is in control". I feel like this a major test of faith too. I've been having a hard time with guilt because I'm an honest person 99% of the time, but I came down with this viral infection when I was doing something dishonest and I feel like God is punishing me. I've asked for forgiveness and am making amends, but I feel like the punishment does not fit the crime!! It sounds like you have had many trying times in your life, just like me. I'm also prior military (Coast Guard) and a child of the welfare system (with not one, but two mentally ill parents!) so my life up until this point has not been a picnic either. You're right though, this, so far....has been the worst. It has absolutely devastated me.

Your analogy about the tiger in the room makes a lot of sense. You're right, I can either empower it, or not. I know my anxiety is making it worst. This day is better then yesterday though. I hope tomorrow will be even better.

Do you have hearing loss with yours? My doctor said mine is mild but it feels like there is a cotton ball in my ear.

How did yours start? How long before you adjusted to it? Is it in both of your ears? How much are the hearing aids you bought?

Thank you so much for your support and prayers Mark. Please stay in touch.

Claire

 

what im sure about that there will be no more hearing lose and i think your tinnitus is not gonna stay for long cause the virus is supposed to be dead so you don't have to ask how long dose it takes to adjust ? ( it took about 3 months in my case though)lol just try to keep something playing in the background like radio or something

 

Well, I'm not even 4 months in, but about maybe 6-8 weeks in a change in attitude happened. I'm also dealing with hyperacusis, so it's possible that once the hyperacusis is alleviated the tinnitus will improve. Yes, my tinnitus isn't as intrusive as it was before.

Mine began in the most unexciting way imaginable...I turned off the TV. But I didn't freak out I remember thinking to myself, "ha...my ear is ringing" and I went to sleep. I woke up again in the middle of the night and it was still ringing and I went back to sleep. Then the next day nothing until in the evening it started in both ears.

Also don't read into the distinctions of acute, post acute, or chronic too much if you happen to come across them. I just read an article the other day about a musician's son that went to a night club and his ears rang for 3 years and then stopped. So it's possible.

As for the hyperacusis, getting a loudness discomfort test will help you know where you are. Reading the information on tinnitus.org about tinnitus and hyperacusis should help you.

 

Claire
First and foremost -- you are NOT being punished (I dare you to find that in His word -- I would win that bet). Nonetheless, that is exactly how I felt when mine hit (like it was way more than I could handle). Since the task in front of me was on the order of 'drinking the ocean' I felt like I was given more than I could handle (and I reasoned that was evidence of punishment/kicked to curb). Get that thought out of your head and your heart; it's not true and it is making your anxiety go through the roof (and, in turn, making your T worse). God loved you while you were a sinner (while you were sinning); let that draw you back to Him! No sin is bigger than God. Your value (in life and to Him) is rested solely in the fact you are created in His image; it has little to nothing to do with past/current sins (that's done and won as far as He is concerned -- no condemnation). The rest is just setting our hearts and minds on being like Him (and with Him). Just rest...just stand down.

He does let us suffer (for reasons that are rarely apparent to us -- especially at the onset). It's been a year (for me) but I've become a more 'real' and giving person than before. I'm more patient and compassionate; respectful. I'm not implying that you are not; I'm just relaying what this journey has done for me.

Yes, I have hearing loss from my time in the service; that is part of the issue, however I have some upper cervical issues related to vertebrates C5/C6/C7 -- I'm convinced a lot of my T is derived from there.

Mine came on gradually (although I didn't know what was happening). At night, the 'crickets' would wake me up. Of course, I sleep like a rock so I wasn't exactly connecting the dots (there aren't any crickets in Nebraska in January!). Actually, I thought (at the time) the crickets were kind of funny -- they actually put me back to sleep . Nonetheless, one Sunday morning I woke up with a ringing in my ear.

ALWAYS prayers; He is good, even if you struggle to feel that right now. Trust me (Him) -- great days ahead!

 

@NeoM, you and @Per were my first supporters here. Thank you for reaching out to newbies! I can tell you, it is GREATLY appreciated!

I'm 3 months in, attitude adjustment happened about 1.5 months in.

 

Thanks for the reassurance Raul, I hope you're right! I don't even have time to adjust though, because I'm in nursing school, although, I guess we were all in the middle of life when this happened, huh? Thanks for your support.

 

Thank you Sue for your feedback. Were you crying everyday until then?

 

not every day. Just a little now and then... and I've known my fair share of hardship, but this was hard. It's much easier now, even though I'm not back where I was before H.

 

Thank you so so much Mark, you are a God send, truly you are. You're right, it doesn't say that about punishment anywhere in the New Testament. It is the equivalent of what you said, drinking the ocean, that's how I feel. I spent my entire day at the hospital today crying or trying not to cry. AND yes, the guilt has been eating me alive!!! I need to pull myself together or I'm not going to be able to finish school. This also weighs heavy on me, all the negative thoughts, "You're never going to make it through school now!" "Life will forever be sad!" and the worst, "I just want to die".....such a dark place.

Seeing you doing okay now, and my dad (who also has tinnitus and hearing loss) acts as though it's nothing, gives me some assurance that it will get better though. Did you get take any medications to help with your anxiety? My friends keep telling me to take some xanax but it's ototoxic which doesn't sound good (ha ha, get it?) to me. Did you see a counselor after you were diagnosed?

Ok, so this is really tough question for you, and if you don't want to answer it, I understand. You said you are a more "real" person now, more compassionate. Yes, I am already feeling that way! But are you as content now as you were before you developed the tinnitus? Is your life the same or better now? I told you it was going to be a tough question. And thanks for the laugh about the crickets in Nebraska : ) I imagine your weather there is just as fun and snowy as it is here in Buffalo in the winter.

 

I'm sorry Sue, I know H is hard. I had it really bad when I first got this virus, and I still have it a little. What is yours from?

 

Unknown. Fine in the morning, then afternoon - H. I was at my office, and I just measured my typical office sounds and it's like 50dB most of the day. with normal conversation levels added. Pretty quiet.

 

but, never really cried... just a little weepy now and then. until I started having hope and progress. The weepy was before my SGs.

 

Claire
Glad I can encourage you; I remember very dark days (dark days indeed). I thought it was over (no rest for the 'rest' of my life). It simply is not that way and to say the least, I am so glad I did not give in (to temptations that came my way). The trauma you are experiencing is warping your view of everything (very understandable). Take that fact into account when 'drawing conclusions' about your situation and yourself (and keep talking to other T sufferers -- I wish I had)

I took Ibuprofen PM to 'knock me out' so I could sleep. I considered taking anti-anxiety/anti-depressant but I did not -- and not for any 'moral or ideal' reasons; I just got hooked up with my hearing aids (with white noise) fairly early on and they really took the edge of everything for me (I'm positive God heard my cries and answered with those -- these particular aids with white noise are very new on the market -- and effective). I just recently quit taking Ibuprofen PM -- I'm not a big fan of putting 'non-food' products in me (unless needed, of course). However, if you need something to get you to sleep or to 'chill you out' it's fine.

Not a tough question at all, my life is strangely better; being more real (down to earth, not so concerned about self ambition, able to feel more compassion, smell the roses) is ALWAYS a good thing. I actually enjoy my life now more than I did before. My faith is stronger, I'm more relaxed. Us military folk are always so 'go fight, win' that sometimes we need something to give us real 'pause' in life. Would I ever want to go through it again -- NO! When it comes to suffering -- I stink at it (big baby). It's like my dad used to say "it's a million dollar experience I wouldn't give two-cents for". But coming out on the other end with a stronger, more loving spirit...

I remember those first days when I was scared out of my mind, angry and full of fight, desperate, and simply overwhelmed -- it doesn't last forever (trust me). Eventually you will accept your situation (as hard as that may sound) and then you will start getting some traction. I still remember the first day my T didn't rule my day or master my mood; what a good day that was (ha ha tinnitus, I so kicked you butt) and I went about my day and was productive.

 

i had to study at the university with a high pitched T over years and i made it to the final year i can't deny that im living my worst days ever with T now cause i have been so stressed like never before and i haven't experienced that much stress before but i think im coping again) so it's just a matter of time until you adjust to it and who knows maybe it's not permanent and you will leave the group which it's sad but we would be happy for you

 

I'm glad you're doing better now though Sue. What are SG's?

 

sorry, I abbreviate everything! lol... Sound Generators.

had a bad day yesterday from my doc appt. Better today though. One more day, and I hope to be back to where I was before appt.

 

Oh, ok, yes, that's what I want to get. Mark said they've helped him a lot.

 

they've helped me a whole lot! I highly recommend. Unfortunately, it's a financial obstacle for many.

 

What type of SG's do you use/recommend. I've had T for a year now and still find it extremely challenging. I'm 55 and it started after multiple gout flair-ups. My thoughts have been everything mentioned above. My pastor has T along with others I know and they all seem likes it's no big deal. Either mine is worse or I'm not as strong. It's been a struggle but I continue to pray for strength through this trial. My wife is supportive but it's taken the wind out of me.

Greg

 

Greg/Bobo, it could be that your case is worse than theirs. I have T in one ear, and it's no big deal. I have T&H in the other ear, and it IS a big deal. and I think my case is even mild compared to those on this site as well.

My SGs are from AmpliSound. I don't know how they stack up against a different brand. Mine are BTE.

 

BTE.....behind the ear, I assume? Thanks.

 

correct. some people have the in-the-ear kind. personal preference?

 

Most of the newer better-quality broadband sound generators are actually BTE (behind-the-ear) or OTE (over-the-ear), which is the same thing. The units are quite small. The sound is conducted into the ear canal through a thin clear tube that is hardly visible. The advantage over the units that are located ITE (in-the-ear) or ITC (in-the-canal) is that the canal itself remains unoccluded save for the width of the thin tube.

sp

 

that was my understanding of the thin tubing kind (like I have), but I didn't want to speak about the ITE kind, since I don't know anything about them.

My son has a new hearing aide (he's hearing impaired, not an H thing) and really wanted low-profile - he is a teenager, after all!

 

Greg
I went to Nebraska Hearing Instruments (Omaha, NE -- I live in Papillion, NE); they are made by AudiBell.

What's with pastor's getting T? Kind of odd; my pastor has T also.

Like you, Greg, I didn't 'feel' strong at all -- I'm just not good at suffering (I would be the last guy you would pick for the 'suffering' team). Also, there is simply NO definable way to tell if someone else is 'stronger' regarding their dealing with (T); it is quite possibly the most singularly subjective affliction that can happen to someone (only increasing those lousy feeling of isolation and anxiety). Even if you could prove they were stronger (or you were stronger) what difference would it make? It is your perception and experience that matter most. I can truly relate!

My hearing aids with white noise generators have been a blessing; like I've stated before, I'm pretty sure God heard my cries on this one (I put a 'ringing' in His ear -- ha, ha). I was going out of my head after about 4 weeks of profound T (about a year ago) and stumbled onto NHI via Google search. My audiologist (@NHI) and I still 'laugh' about my condition the day I showed up (I was on my 2nd nervous break-down and couldn't really construct a meaningful sentence). It has taken some time to get my T down to the lower severe level (from profound) but with the white noise I can get immediate relief (anytime I want) and I get sleeeeeeeep!

I know for a fact I would NOT be doing as well without them! I hope this helps...

Mark

 

Hi. I have moderately severe hearing loss in one ear, including senorineural. I know that I have to keep it in the back of the bus, so to speak. I want my career to still develop, and to continue my education. I, too sometimes worry about if I am going to able to hear sufficiently in future years and what I am going to do about the T on a daily basis. I appreciate your having shared your T story. So many of us have T and are trying not to suffer. What developments in research can we use to not have to have these tinnitus tales?