Shouting and Fighting

I am currently visiting my mother. I was reluctant, because she always wants to argue and I'm too weak to disengage. I had forgotten what a narcissist she is. I grew up verbally abusive, and today sadly culminated in a fight. I have the bad habit of raising my voice too, so after I was shouted at, I was on the phone with my father explaining the situation, but I was upset (anxiety and panic attacks), so my voice was loud throughout. I spent maybe 2 hours in total today speaking with a raised upset voice.

I know this is bad and I did everything I could to ever prevent having to enter an srgument with my mother, because it's pointless (she just wants to let out her bad moods on me). I went upstairs and locked myself into a room until she was gone. But the fact that I got so upset about it and spoke on the phone with a raised voice makes me so angry at myself.

So two things happened today that make me worry about my tinnitus permanently spiking:

- mother smashed the door downstairs while I was in a room with a closed door. I hope the distance was enough to not make it have a negative effect on my ears. The room upstairs is right next to the stairs, so I was intotal maybe 5 meterss away from the smashed door.
- I spent around 2 hours speaking in an upset voice to my father about what happened

Do you think this can have negatively affected my tinnitus?

 

Based on my personal experiences and on the experiences I read about in this forum, you might have your T spike, but most likely it is going to be a temporary spike. Having said this, if you keep doings things that cause these temporary spikes, Eventually you are likely to get a permanent spike. Learn from this experience and decide to walk away as soon as someone raises their voice.

 

Temporary spike due to stress I'd say. I don't see any noise that would damage your hearing.

Narcissists are difficult to deal with if we're talking a real narcissist.

 

I wasn't stressed out when I got a spike after a door slammed near me. That spike lasted several days. There had also been more spikes due to doors slamming - I haven't felt stressed during those times either.

 

Yes, but TS obviously has been stressed out fighting with his mother.

 

there are granite stairs between the two rooms and a 4m hallway. the roomwhere i was in was practically around the corner of the stairs. I really hope it was enough distance.

as for the upset talking/shouting, I am even more worried... i should have just calmed down but i was so upset that she would willingly smash a door whenim there, i could not calm down.

 

I read that we are mostly protected by our own voice through our jaw closing off the ears when talking, I don't know if this is true. Anyone got some source for this claim?

 

I was about 3 meters away the first time, and I was 2 meters away (+had a wall between me and the source) the second time.

 

Ok so I guess I had some more distance. The staircase is surrounded by walls from both sides