Sort of Feeling Trapped

A few months ago I started having tinnitus. I still have no idea how it started, I never listened to loud sounds or anything like that, it just seemed to appear one day. I visited 2 different doctors who sent me to an ear specialist, who issued some tests that said that my hearing is perfectly fine otherwise, and I didn't have an infection or anything like that. They said that sometimes it just happens to people.

I've waited in hopes that it was perhaps a temporary issue, but it hasn't gotten any better, and in fact I believe it's slowly getting worse. I've visited a psychologist to try and help me deal with it but I still have a very hard time.

I can't sleep anymore, even with white noise it's simply too loud. Even if I do fall asleep it wakes me up throughout the night. Sometimes it gives me awful headaches from how stressful and annoying it is. And even though my hearing is fine, I keep having to turn up the sound of my white noise every now and then because my tinnitus has gotten louder to the point where it's difficult to hear the white noise.

I'm honestly terrified that it will continue to get worse, it's already taking a lot out of me just to get through the day. It scares me so much that I even have a suicide plan. And lately I've been really thinking I might have to do it if it gets any worse. I'm only 16 but I already feel like I'm ready to die just because of this tinnitus. I don't know what else to do. If anyone has any advice, or anything, I'd love to hear it, because I'm really at the end of my rope

 

Sorry to hear your suffering, Shully. When T is new and your brain is in high alert of this alien sound, it tends to focus on it and so it will appear to be so dominant. Your reaction is quite normal to many sufferers of intrusive tinnitus, many of them have since recovered enough to write their success stories. Not saying that their T has disappear or fade. It is like after some time, the brain will get more used to the sound and it can learn to fade out T ringing, even loud T ringing. How I know? I am having a very loud T day but I go about enjoying my life without paying much attention to it. It can feel irritating at times, but it is not life threatening.

I know what you mean about suicide ideation. In fact if you read enough success stories, that dark thought cross the mind of many members, including those who have recovered well enough to write their success stories. Some had it worse than just loud T, like having severe hyperacusis (in my case), or having pulsatile T, constant ear pain, multi-toned etc., etc. But even those with worse cases have gotten better and some have written success stories.

You are still young and your T is also very young. You shouldn't rule out that it can get better or even fade/disappear over time. Try to get more doctor opinion, such as checking if you have TMJ issue, or check out if you are deficient in some vitamins (such as B12) or mineral (such as Magnesium or Zinc) or that you need to cut out something in your diet which you may be allergic to. Perhaps get a allergy test.

There are many great threads on TT which can help a new T sufferer. Here is an excellent thread started by a member on what to do when you are new with tinnitus and stressed out. I added some comments to the OP’s thread, but you can scroll up to post #1 to read up on the excellent suggestions by the original poster.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/new-and-stressed-with-tinnitus-read-this-first.3978/#post-40275

TT also has this standard thread which besides giving you some excellent masking sounds with an audio player, it also contains tips and step by step instructions for newer sufferers. Here is the link for it:

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/panic/ (the icons on the left side give you instructions step by step)


So, relax. Instead of wasting energy on worry and panicking, perhaps follow some of these steps and suggestions to see if they can help you feel better. You can also read up many success stories to give you hope. I include the link to my success story if you have time to read it. Don't panic and despair. You will get better. Good life can be back. Believe it and be positive about the future. Take good care and God bless.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

 

Hang in there... I'm 3 weeks in and I'm starting to deal better with it. It really does seem the more you stress about it the worse it gets.
I'm going to be making some diet changes and see how that goes. What ever I need to do to heat this stupid thing.