Thanksgiving & Christmas: How Do Severe Tinnitus and Hyperacusis Sufferers Cope?

I have very severe reactive tinnitus, but no pain, just discomfort from the reactive tinnitus getting loud.

I'm going to my sister's house tomorrow for Thanksgiving.

I'm expected to go since I live with my dad and that's what we do on holidays; go to her house.

I can't wear ear plugs as I have no opening ear canal in my left ear and my right ear is 85 percent deaf. Oddly I still have a little hearing in my left. It's a mixture of bone conductive and sensorineural hearing loss. Not sure I spelled the last part right but that's what I got. I wear my hearing aid but I'm thinking of bringing my bone conduction headphones and play chimes or something to take the edge off. I won't wear them the whole time, only when everybody is doing their thing, like the kids watch a movie and the adults talk or play on their phones.

I'm probably going to be there for 4 hours or so. I hope I can make it...

For anyone else with severe intrusive tinnitus/hyperacusis, how are you guys going to cope with family gatherings for holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas? This is such a nightmare. Can't wait for the holidays to be over.

This will be my first Thanksgiving with severe and intrusive tinnitus so I need advice.

 

We stopped going to family events about 4 years ago when the tinnitus started. They are extremely difficult with everyone talking at once and the static sound rising and rising. My advice is to take your chimes and your headphones and just gut through it for your family. Just know that what you are going through is real and don't let them try to make you think you are just being a drama queen or making things up. Just because they can't hear the tinnitus doesn't mean it's not real. Sorry you have to go through this.

 

This year with COVID-19 we aren't getting together with family. I visited them last month, so it's ok. Travelling is complicated, so we just cancelled the whole thing.

Be careful with dishes, someone stacking dishes near your ears specially, things falling, you know... impulse noise in general. I am curious about echo... if you have hearing loss in one ear, how do you deal with sound in echo-ish places?

 

Well hope you had a good Thanksgiving.

Luckily I ended up not having to go to my sister's. The food from Boston Market arrived late and my sister had her husband come home early and my dad doesn't get along with him so when I got home from work, he bought home food from the bar that his friend made so yea it was good.

I have one more question for you and I'm sorry for all the questions but it's nice to talk to another with reactive tinnitus.

My question is are you aware of your tinnitus every second of the day like all the time?

I'm always aware of mine no matter what I'm doing, I still hear it because it's so in my face whether it's loud or not. If you're aware of your tinnitus all day, I'm guessing you don't get upset about it as much since you have had it for a while? I read about those with unmaskable loud tinnitus and reactive tinnitus but even they say they can go many hours without hearing and yet I can't so I wonder how they can go hours without hearing it but I can't go more than 4 to 6 seconds maybe 3 times a day at the most without hearing or being aware of it...

I would love to get days where I hardly hear it because I heard some reactive tinnitus people have said they had days where even in noise they can't hear it at times and I wonder how? If it's unmaskable?

If I asked you this question before then I apologize. I never ever get days where the reactiveness is super low to where I hardly hear it unlike most of those I've read with reactive tinnitus. Like I never get good days like that. I dont knkw why I'm not getting those. I want a break. Everyday when I go in noise and say I leave my hearing aid on for the whole day or for like 4 hours, it'll get really really loud in noise after 4 hours so I turn my aid off to rest it for an hour then turn it on again. I need my aid to hear as im 70 percent deaf. I guess I'm gonna try to lose weight as a resolution next year since I'm 70 pounds over a healthy weight and I guess cut back on foods to get healthier. Was gonna do those before T but now my T is so bad im desperate to see if it'll even reduce the reactiveness if i cut out inflammatory foods. After all, what works for some people with T might not work for the next. I fear if nothing changes and the reactiveness doesn't reduce to where I get days "I can hardly hear it in noise" or the reactivity atleast gets a bit quieter and less intrusive then 2021 might be my last year. I told myself to give it one more year as its been a year already. I dont expect for the T to go away at all i just want a reduction in intrusiveness.

 

I am genuinely happy to hear you were able to have a calm and peaceful dinner with your dad. Sounds like the food was better too!

Yes, I'm always aware of it and can always hear it. Some days the tinnitus perception is very loud and some days it's softer, but it's always there. Today it's very loud and I've been actively trying to ignore it, but feeling irritated that it's been loud for so many days and wondering why. On days that it's soft, I worry about it coming back . And then of course it does.

Yes, that might not get rid of the tinnitus directly but if your body is healthy you'll be able to manage it better. Have you experimented with any supplements?

 

Do you ever get jealous of those that have to "listen" to hear their tinnitus? Like some people have to search it out in noisy places to hear it so I get envious at times because I remember a year ago, I had to really look for it to hear it and now it's in my face. I find myself thinking of the past a lot because it's like a grieving process for me.

 

Yes, but I don't envy their anxiety over it. People can be just as anxious over quiet tinnitus as we get over loud tinnitus, so I feel bad for anyone who is freaked out by their tinnitus at any level. What irritates me is people who have never experienced loud tinnitus making it out to be like tinnitus is all the same and that people who complain about it are just weak or psychologically damaged. Unfortunately there are medical practitioners like this. I've been reading about them in other threads and feel really sorry for people who have crappy doctors who send their patients out the door telling them to get a sound machine and live with it.

 

Yea I know what you mean. Not all tinnitus is the same, that’s for sure. I remember though reading one of your posts and you had had it for 10 months at the time and you mentioned you had good days where you don’t notice it much. I hope to get days like that. You did tell me you are always aware of it so I guess it got worse overtime since then? I know you said you got new sounds so I’m sorry to hear that. I tend to read posts from people who have reactive tinnitus.

 

I hope someday doctors have sympathy and can help those with tinnitus and treat it at least.

To be honest the reason I asked if you are aware of your tinnitus every second of the day is because I hear mine all day regardless of what I’m doing and I read a lot on here from those that say their tinnitus is severe and loud and unmaskable but they say they can go hours without hearing it or being aware of it yet I’m always aware of mine except for when I’m drunk or sleeping.

So I feel sometimes I’m too severe for this forum since I hear it all day, so when you told me you hear yours all day, I thought “finally someone else who hears it all day too” I felt less alone but then I read one of your old posts from a few years ago and you mentioned you had good days where you don’t notice it much so I got confused since you told me you always hear it. I wish I could get that relief. I didn’t want to feel like the only person who’s aware of theirs all day.

 

You are not alone and your tinnitus is almost certainly not worse than some other people here. Your brain is just taking a long time to adapt! It will, though. You might have to try new things like finding different and better doctors and maybe seeking out a support group. Finding people who are your allies and who have a clue about tinnitus is pretty time consuming, but they are out there. Just don't give up because you need some real life support.

Personally, I get frustrated because just when I think I'm doing well something happens and I have strings of bad days and it seems like it would be so easier to just die. And I'm kind of morbid so I find comfort in having an exit plan and can identify with others who do. But I still kind of believe things will get better and want to keep seeing what happens next -- tiring as it may be. Do you have little things that you still like even on a bad day? Is there any one thing you like doing that distracts you from the noise? You mentioned you are still working, so that's good! Sorry I don't have better advice, but I hate that you feel all alone.

 

Yeah I work to look forward to money. It's pretty hard when I hear my tinnitus very clearly over everything but I try to keep going.

I have a question that I meant to ask you a while back. I remember one post that you had but it was old and you said one hearing aid masked your tinnitus and you couldn't hear it all day. What happened to the hearing aid that worked for you? I didn't read all your posts.

I have yet to find a hearing aid that works for me. I wear a BAHA. I wonder how the hearing aid masked it if you have reactive tinnitus? Because I almost feel like my tinnitus gets more amplified with it on but I need to wear it as I don't hear much of anything without it.

 

You don't cope with truly severe hyperacusis, you rot, isolate and pray it gets better.

 

Widex with chimes. The chimes are a distraction and kind of soothing, but I can only use them on days when the tinnitus is already kind of low or medium. If I use the hearing aid on a high tinnitus day it just feels like the tinnitus is worse. So yeah -- like you said, it amplifies the tinnitus.

 

Every day man, every day.

 

I have had severe tinnitus for a month now. I take Xanax, otherwise I wouldn't be able to survive the level of intensity of the high pitch tones I hear in both my ears. Do you take any medication like benzos? Are you a candidate for cochlear implants? They reduce tinnitus levels as well.