The Art of Listening to People

Discussion in 'Support' started by squeek, Oct 28, 2016.

    1. squeek

      squeek Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise impact/maybe seaborn
      Since tinnitus, I've stopped listening to people and paying attention to what they are saying. Even before tinnitus I wasn't good at paying attention.

      The kind of remaining friends who tolerate my high demands for quietude are friends who endlessly talk and yack on. Loquacious people. For them, with the high price they pay they get someone they can tell their same stories over and over, and for me I get some limited social interaction. I don't listen to what they say but rather their tonalities, cadences, and melodies in their speech. A "dadi-dadi-dah" pattern to me is a stated fact, for which I might reply "mmm, okay", whereas "dadi-dadi-di" is a stress pattern, where I might reply "oh really?". In one ear, and out the other.

      I'm a few weeks into a new job and now I'm to be given a team. This is an unwanted responsibility because I've never managed people before and also means I have to pay attention to what they are saying.

      I need help. I'm out of practice in listening. I can barely remember what was said four words ago. And of course with Tinnitus, it's much harder.
    2. Jason C

      Jason C Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      29 May 2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Burgler Alarm
      I think a lot of what you are saying has a lot too do with self absorption, I know it's harder for me now with my hearing problems to manage my staff. It's not that I can't hear what they say, I can hear speech fine but I am constantly consumed thinking about my hearing :(

      On the occasions when I can push it too the back of my mind, I am back too the old me and can get everything done.

      I have noticed since this happened. Small problems mean nothing too me anymore. People telling me their problems and they seem like nothing, Stupid stuff like they are annoyed as their car broke down or they are annoyed at the wife over something silly.

      Little things used too annoy me greatly lol I had nothing else too bother me though.

      My only advice too you would be too try and put all your focus into your job. When my problems started I couldn't function, couldn't think, couldn't organise or plan. The stress and anxiety consumed me more than the actual issue and it still does too an extent.
      It's not easy as we all know. Life is hard enough and we have this shit too deal with too.

      You don't need too be perfect at the job you just need too do enough too keep your employers appeased ;)

      Be well :)
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