To heck and back

Tinnitus started during a low point in my life. A bunch of stress "pancakes" dropped on my plate faster than I could eat them:

Aug. 2011 -- Second son born, colicky baby.
Oct. 2011 -- Mother dies of complications from MS.
Dec. 2011 -- Workplace quakes with talk of buyout, layoffs etc.
Dec. 2011 -- Manager who had always helped me with $$ quits.
Jan. 2011 -- Winter cold turns into sinus infection, hits hard, reaches inner ears.
Jan. 2011 -- On day 7 of Amoxicillin, I detect a steady ring in left ear, sounds like hearing test.
Spring 2011 -- Sound migrates to both ears, settles at more of a hiss than a ring, very loud when I chew.
Spring 2011 -- Anxiety/depression/insomnia/nightmares, start losing weight due to inability to eat well.
Spring 2011 -- Fluid leaks into right retina, a reaction to stress, causes distorted vision.
Spring 2011 -- Cannot work full shift, spend hours in basement hiding from family, pretending to "rest."
Spring 2011 -- Becoming not suicidal per se, but ambivalent about living.
Spring 2011 -- Visit psych. dept. of hospital, leave with prescription for Zoloft and Lorazepam.
Summer 2011 -- Virtuous cycle begins, energy and attitude recover, get off Lorazepam but stay on Zoloft.
Winter 2012 -- Taper off Zoloft very gradually, completely off by spring.
Spring 2012 -- Back to relatively normal, but brain fog still creeps in during low-energy periods of the day.
Summer 2012 -- Arizona vacation at the cave-like Sheraton Wild Horse reminds me I'm still a bit fragile.
Fall 2012 -- Brain fog fully evaporated, nothing remains except the T, an electric hiss that often pulsates, akin to an ultrasound, reminding me unnecessarily that my brain is working and blood is flowing, both good things I suppose.
Spring 2013 -- I'm joining this forum to help others keep their heads together. I see many young people here wrestling with T on top of other stressors, like school. I'm not a professional counselor, but then again most counselors haven't fought this particular fight.

Robert Fahey
rfahey@wobfm.com
781-718-9872

 

Electro-static hiss in both ears, sometimes low thrum also, like a distant approaching helicopter. Waiting to hear transmissions from Mars Rover any day now.

 

I'm taking nothing. I haven't even thought much about my T until I stumbled across this page and read accounts of others struggling to adapt.