Waiting for ENT — Clueless About Symptoms: Tinnitus, Pulsatile Tinnitus, Ear Pain, Crackling & More

I’m back again but not for something bad thankfully! Going to see that college on its open evening was a big hurdle for me and since I thought going in a car whose breaks squeaked was a bad idea, so I decided to walk. That was a bigger mistake but at least now I know. 15 minutes of being in a moderately loud car is nowhere near as loud as walking for an hour near main roads, screaming children, and construction work.

During the start of the walk, I put on double protection for the first time. The noises in my head had never been louder and was very unbearable, but at least I only had to deal with it for this short amount of time. Anyway, it was a good thing to do that, as there was a loud bang from somebody throwing an object from the 2nd floor of a house into a skip below, which did make my ears tingle a little and give me a new noise but only for a couple of seconds. I didn’t panic too much since double protection was all I could do (and the noise hasn’t come back as well!).

Got there feeling terrible from all of the internal and external noise, but my dad is now being more understanding and supportive, so he came with me to help explain and get a tutor over to speak to me in a quiet room. For the course I’m taking, I learned I only have to come in for 3 days a week so that’ll be great to help me recover. Soon after talking with the tutor, thunderstorm with hail stones hit and I was caught in it, luckily I was still wearing double protection. It got so bad that instead of walking back I had to get driven back in that squealing car.

Even after all of that, my ears only barely ached a teensy bit afterwards, and no new noises today! This is a good sign of recovery from my hyperacusis, but I’m going to give my ears a break and rest them for a couple days just to be safe - don’t want to overdo it and give myself new noises.

I also recently met up with a friend who also experienced tinnitus! We talked for a while about it and we had back and forth conversations like “did you ever hear a DEEEDDEEDEDE?” and often a reply on the lines of “NO WAY YEA!” It was great to finally have a person who could relate to me and truly understand. Thing is, they’ve had it since 2020 through a similar noise circumstance to me, earbuds and laptop volume, even with many similar noises, and their noises are all tv static now, which is great! They recovered all the while going to college and taking buses. It goes to show that someone like them, even without avoiding noise like me, can still recover, even if it did take them 2 years to get to that point. It made me realise that it’s a very slow process and different for everyone, and it also made me kind of grateful for the noises I have. They said they had a car alarm in their head and many completely sleepless nights at some points, which I cannot imagine. I asked when it started to change for them and they said around the 3 or 4 month mark it started to change from ringing to buzzing noise. They were very reassuring and told me it should start to fade, even a little, soon.

It’s now my 3rd month in, and over the past couple weeks I’ve noticed my hyperacusis improving. The clock isn’t as sharp, the fridge isn’t as loud, I can make a sandwich and pour water without ear defenders on! I’ve had hyperacusis for so long I forgot how quiet my house actually is compared to most places. Ever since this improvement about 2 weeks ago, my tinnitus is less maskable now, but still maskable by the fridge and being outside like before. This doesn’t worry me, as I suspect my improving hyperacusis is why it’s less maskable. Everyday noise is less loud for me and so it covers it up less. Not to mention my tinnitus intensity or volume has not noticeably increased either, which I feel reassures me that this is the case.

I am planning to start reintroducing more volume and activities over time. For example, I have marked every Friday from now on to increase my tv volume by 1 until it reaches double the volume it is now. So it’ll take me 8 weeks to listen to tv at normal volume again. Then I’ll slowly introduce music afterwards if it goes well.

All in all it’s an improvement and I am confident it will get better, as long as I keep this up.

 

It is good that you are making progress @H225. You are still in the very early stages of tinnitus and hyperacusis, so take things slow. If I were you I would try not to set deadlines on what my achievements should be, as this can increase stress and anxiety if they are not met. I am referring to your comment on 8 weeks to listen to your TV at normal volume again.

This is the wrong approach as you are putting pressure on yourself. There is nothing wrong with having long term goals and ambitions as it does give one something to aim for and instils positive thinking. However, setting deadlines is not the way to do it.

You are going through a healing process and this time and something that cannot be rushed. It took me 4 years to habituate for the second time.

I wish you well,
Michael

 

Really happy for you @H225, that sounds like a very positive experience. I'm also 3 months in and can relate to slowly trying more things. I've also met a few friends who told me about their tinnitus. It really is great to be able to talk to someone how really understands what you're going thru.

 

I don’t know why but this week has been very difficult and I’ve been crying my eyes out at least twice daily. I guess it’s just getting to me. Not being able to play video games, hang out with friends, take baths, cook, go near main roads, drive and not using DVD players is really dragging me down now. I mean, 3 months and still not being able to do any of those things! All the while I’m kind of forced to hear to my tinnitus for most of the day because of my lack of tolerance to noise. Not to mention I’m losing any hope of it becoming any quieter let alone it going away and I think that realisation has made a big dent in my mental health. But there are a couple positives - I can listen to my TV a bit louder now though. I am seeing and audiologist next Friday to start some therapy and reduce my pain hyperacusis. My brain gets a little tired Listening to my tinnitus sometimes and I subconsciously tune it out for a couple seconds. Until my brain says “hey, you’re not listening to the noise!” And then it makes me listen to the noise.

I just want to do things again. It’s a good thing hyperacusis can actually be improved (most of the time) compared to tinnitus. I just hope my hyperacusis gets better so I can hear louder things without it permanently worsening my tinnitus after this.

 

Also I’m curious, are there any agreed upon telltale signs that ears / tinnitus is improving or healing? I’ve heard noises getting softer, more intermittent, silent days, things like that. But does anyone know why sometimes when people heal it goes from ringing to buzzing and then to tv static and then it fades? I’m guessing the way it heals relates to the way the ears are damaged. The way they were damaged, how they were damaged and how severe the injury. I’ll have to ask more from my friend about their tv static noise.

 

I know it can get tough at times, man I've been there, experienced some deep sorrow and lost hope. It's a good habit to reflect on the positives. It's a good sign that you can listen to TV a bit louder and can at times tune it out. One thing that helped me was to tell myself to accept it--my thought is, "It may be permanent or temporary, I don't know. But it's with me today, so let me just accept it today." It changed my perspective from something I need to fight to something that was an annoyance. Can I ask if you're taking any meds to help stabilize your mood?

Good question, I don't really know if there are agreed upon signs of improvement. I suppose things like you've mentioned--having more good days, feeling like you can tolerate it more as time passes, having less severe spikes. I do know that it takes time, a lot of time, to heal.

One thing I've done is picked some new activities that I knew I could engage in while I'm trying to heal. The big one for me has been jigsaw puzzles. For some reason I can focus intently on the puzzle and find myself tolerating my tinnitus a bit more.

 

Yes, I started antidepressants about a month ago. I don’t think they’re really doing much. The only times I’ve felt less sad is when I can ignore it more, like when it’s more bearable in the mornings and when I can concentrate on other things. One thing I’ve taken up doing is transforming my old Transformers toys to distract me and that helps. But then, of course, the plastic snapping into place, ratcheting on joints and creaking when moving about doesn’t do me any good.

Thing is, I would fight it less if I knew it was going to stay the same and if I didn’t have pain hyperacusis. I would just get by doing the things I like to do and distract myself, while just plugging my ears in noisy places to be safe. But since I have pain hyperacusis, I can’t be too sure I’ll be safe with doing even the smallest things. It changes so often, I don’t think because it’s healing, but every time I’ve noticed it changing it’s always after some noise that causes me discomfort or pain. I can’t even hear a single noise I had from the beginning, it’s totally changed from how I had it at the start. I still have a noise that I got from the family barbecue a month and a half ago though. But that’s turning into a different noise as well. I don’t think that’s because of healing either - it started changing to a more intrusive noise a couple days after going to the college open evening. Ok - it might be healing, but it just lines up too well that the change indicates damage, especially after all too similar previous experiences. The only time I noticed it getting quieter was right before the barbecue. I was ignoring it better, getting softer and I was only hearing it softly in quiet rooms. But that barbecue but me back to square 1, not able to whisper without hurting myself again. Remembering that time makes me sad, especially since I insisted I shouldn’t go to that barbecue to my parents over and over again.

If it were up to me I would’ve spent all my time sat inside watching TV and going out for walks in quiet places until the audiologists gave me help. Because every time I’ve been outside in a normal environment it has worsened in someway. Even using pink or white noise hurts. I want to wait to see what the audiologist says before I start any sound therapy myself.

I’m not even sure if the noises I’ve exposed myself to inside my house has worsened it and I’m exhausted from trying so hard. But I’ve had to go out a couple times during these 3 months and soon I’ll have to go to college and all my work is on PCs. I’m not even sure if PCs make it worse and I don’t want to learn through experience. I just don’t think I’ve given my ears enough rest during these months, and I’ll only be more busy in the months coming. That thought as well has also made me feel more depressed.

All of this has made me lose hope because I don’t know if I’ll get better and I don’t know what makes me worse. But all I know is if the audiologists can’t help me, it will only get worse. I honestly don’t know what they can do with someone like me.

That turned into a rant but that’s why I feel so sad right now.

 

Well, this is the place to rant, so rant away.

If your antidepressant is an SSRI, it typically takes a while to titrate up and feel the effects of it, SSRIs are so subtle. Do you have a more immediate antidepressant/anti-anxiety med? When I first started on Zoloft and Gabapentin, I didn't feel like they were doing anything. Once the psychiatrist had me titrate up on both, I started to feel the effects, and they really stabilized my mood and quelled my anxiety.

Transformers! Man, I grew up on those, those are awesome. One thing that I've done a lot to while away the time is solving the rubik's cube. I got a pretty decent speedcube that moves quite fluidly, so it's become my fidget-spinner. I like that it's portable so that I can take it wherever I go.

That's wise, especially with pain hyperacusis (which I think is called noxacusis). I'm not familiar with noxacusis, but I suspect I have sound hyperacusis. I went to a beach about a month ago, and the waves sounded sounded extraordinarily loud, like I was in the middle of a hurricane or something. Stressed the heck out of me.

Since your tinnitus is still pretty new, it can be hard to gauge the direction things are headed. Mine started in March, and it still swings wildly. I wouldn't put a lot of stock into predicting the future and just focus on things you can improve upon, like getting good sleep, getting some exercise (I hope you can go for walks safely?), and talking to your doctor(s) about your antidepressant. Stick with it! Time can be your ally since healing takes a lot of time. Your mind is resilient, it can adapt as time passes.

 

Unfortunately, no. They did say it would take a while to feel the effects but I still don’t feel much difference. But for some reason I’ve been feeling a bit better and haven’t been crying anymore. I even managed to push the noise into the background for most of the evening yesterday! I’m not sure if it was myself or the antidepressants doing that. But today I had a pretty intense sneeze and it brought itself back up to its previous high pitch and maybe a little louder. It had felt pretty soft and buzzy instead of screechy and since I didn’t feel any pain afterward, I’m confident it’ll go back down to there in a couple days. I think I’m doing relatively ok regardless of my antidepressants.

Thanks for the reassurance - it’s nice to be reminded to focus on what’s actually happening rather than a terrible future that might not even happen. I find it kind of crazy how this phantom noise can bring people together and also bring out the best more than most other things could ever do. I am definitely dealing better and improvements are slow. Once I see the audiologists, however, I hope my improvements speed up a lot.

I just have to remind myself that I am getting more consistent sleep than the first month, I only wake up around 2:00am one or two days in the week. I usually wake up in the afternoon but at least I get 7 hours now. Since I live in a relatively quiet place I can go out for short 15 minute walks but I still fear for car alarms, doorbells, motorcycles and dogs being around. But at least I can go outside. I can turn on the tap to wash my hands now as well. These small improvements keep me going. I hope since we’re both pretty early in, we will see great improvements in the coming year!

Wow, I kind of keep forgetting that I’m really not the only human with this. It’s still weird to me that everyone on this forum all just live as humans doing human things and having human interests. I feel so disconnected now and this is such a strange reminder I’m not sure how to put into words, you don’t really think about these sort of things much until you get this realisation.

Ok, I don’t want to derail this forum but - being such a huge dorky Transformers fan, I have to ask - what was your favourite toy/character?

 

That sounds like an SSRI, which usually takes 4-6 weeks to feel its effects. I got prescribed an SSRI and also a more "real-time" anxiety reducer. I take the combination daily. I have to attribute a lot to the meds for helping me stabilize my mood.

Seriously. I'm guessing other chronic conditions have their forums too, like arthritis, cancer, etc. I'm glad to hear you're dealing better, that's an important step. I don't think I turned the corner until 2 months after my onset. Prior to that, I was a complete mess.

Right on, I like the attitude. It's helpful to have others that are having a similar experience to be able to discuss and support.

I feel the same way. I've gotten a bit isolated myself. I enjoy visiting this forum, I feel it helps me cope. I wish everyone would talk more about their hobbies so that we could see the more human side of everyone. There is a Passions thread, but it looks like it's gone inactive.

Haha good question. I don't know why, but I really like Laserbeak from the original generation. So simple but I liked the idea that you could insert it into Soundwave, I thought that was pretty cool. How about you?

 

That’s most likely why I didn’t notice too much I guess. Sometimes I do have a bit of a breakdown but I’m able to pull myself together again quickly or if not, in a couple of days. I wasn’t told about any “real-time” anxiety reducer, but I think I might need something like that when I go to college in September. God, that is going to be a nightmare.

I think I am still a bit of a mess and I find myself really breaking down from missing my PC. And then I realise all my college work is going to be on PCs and in a room filled with PCs. I can’t even stand being near one even for a couple of minutes right now - and I break down over the fact that I have no clue how I’m going to be able to do my course. I also know that quite a few people with noise induced tinnitus are irritated by the frequencies given off by PCs - I really hope this sensitivity stops after a while, as this makes me probably the most sad out of anything.

Being on this forum is great, you get so many supporting people who are very understanding! It helps to cope a lot - but at the same time, spend too much time on it and you will see so many horror stories and 0.1% of very extreme cases and you start panicking. I do like this forum, but I do try to stay away from it most days. Sometimes the best thing to do is just to keep a positive attitude and go about doing as much as you can. I really want to get back to listening to music, being with friends and playing video games - The thought of doing this again makes me push onward.

Oh wow I love Soundwave and his cassettes - I was always fond of cats so Ravage ended up being my fav of Soundwave’s buddies - with Ratbat being a close second! I always liked the Decepticons more than the Autobots and Soundwave’s definitely up there as one of my favourites! I’m a big fan of the original cartoon as I watched the 1986 movie when I was very little, and so I’m a big fan of the original toys a well. I do want a Soundwave and many others but they are very expensive, even the newest ones are kind of steep now, which is the reason why I don’t collect them anymore. Besides, I literally have no more room in my display cabinet that’s completely full of the more recent ones from the thrilling 30 line to kingdom!

I do, however, have a hand-me-down Jetfire which has a missing right arm and no red thruster accessories, but everything else, including its rub symbols are still on somehow. Last year, I bought myself a reissue Astrotrain since he’s also one of my favourites. He’s a total brick but I love whooshing him around in robot mode like a five year old! I was very happy to hear he’s finally getting a new cartoon appearance after 25 odd years.

That was a lot longer than I thought I would type out, but I’m always happy to talk Transformers!

 

You might want to ask your doctor about it. I don't think they're actually called "real-time", not sure what they're actually called, but they're designed to be fast-acting to reduce symptoms of anxiety to curb a panic attack.

What happens when you get near a PC?

Jetfire! I almost forgot about him, he's so iconic.

Lolz, good times.

High five, I know what you mean. I'm like that about Rubik's Cubes and Lego.

 

Hey again, I’m doing a lot better and am able to carry on with everyday life again finally!

Tinnitus is still there though, feels louder but my in-ear maskers still are on the lowest volume and it masks it just as well. Days are easier and sometimes worse. I can only hope it gets quieter but I haven’t had a change for such a long time, but I hope I can cope better in the future. I’m still very scared about ageing and it getting worse, however. I still struggle with sleep but life goes on.

 

That's good to hear.

How are you getting on at college?

Are you managing to use your PC ok?

 

It is good that you are making progress, but you still have a long way to go in the habituation process. Up to 18 months and beyond in some cases. Get as much help as you can from the NHS and keep away from private practice in the UK. This is what I advise you to do.

Be patient and keep using low-level sound enrichment and don't even consider using any type of headphones, even at low volume.

Michael