What a difference a day makes

Discussion in 'Support' started by kevin b, Feb 25, 2014.

tinnitus forum
    1. kevin b
      Fine

      kevin b Member

      Location:
      Hope well junction, NY
      Tinnitus Since:
      1/2014
      My t went into remission for a few hours yesterday and what a change of my mood, upbeat and looking to the future, even when it slowly started coming back I said, it's ok, it will just get better and better now everyday. We'll I was wrong, it has not stopped again and even with masking kept me up most of the night. I am trying to go to work now but am deeply depressed. I thought I saw light at the end of the tunnel. It's only been 2 months and I am really having hard time believing I will ever be able to deal with this long term. Do you think in should be looking into hearing aids I have slight hearing loss in high frequencies and have read they really help people out. Any advice?
       
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    2. Glenn
      Balanced

      Glenn Member

      Location:
      North Syracuse, New York
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/06/2014
      Kevin, Its been close to the same amount of time for me with my T. It actually almost stopped completely for 3 days a couple weeks back. However, just like what you experienced, it came back with a vengeance. I have to tell you, those 3 days were pure heaven. The best thing about it though was the hope for the future.
      Ok.. enough of the bad stuff. Id say my T right now is about a 5 on a 1-10 scale. There are times I don't even notice it. I just go about my daily life and try to keep my mind occupied. I think that's the key. Don;t dwell on the T. Wrap yourself up in work or something that involves brain power. Unfortunately though, this doesn't include watching the TV. I find my T is most noticeable when doing this.
      Anyways..... even if your T isn't temporary, things will get better! Im hopefully now that if i have to live with this for the rest of my life, its something i can do. There are so many things alot worse that could have happened to me. I know its hard to think about this right now but, what cant you do with T? You can still live a normal life and be happy and healthy. That's most important.
       
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    3. kevin b
      Fine

      kevin b Member

      Location:
      Hope well junction, NY
      Tinnitus Since:
      1/2014
      Hi Glenn,
      During the day my T is probably only a 5 a s well, with normal TV on I usually can't hear. My problem is it is always on my mind, even when I did not hear it for 2 hours yesterday I was waiting and listening for it! I am trying to take it day by day and hope I can start to get it out of my mind , but so far no luck. I have a lot of self pity going on as well because I got this just after coming out of a two month bad depression, something I have had for 25 years. I went back on my AD 9 days ago so I hope that will help, even praying the AD could help it go away because I got it when I was off the AD?
       
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    4. Sean

      Sean Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      01-01-2011
      kevin..I totally relate to you. When T goes down life seems too beautiful!. I actually don't mind when T is not too loud. I rarely notice it at work or even when I go to sleep.
      This morning when I woke up..eventhough I had restful night after LONG time T seems louder then usual. Good thing about my T is that during most Spike I was able to make my T and didn't it didn't affect my sleep. Some days are just nasty. What I am worried about is future..as we get hold cochlea cells die naturally..what will happen then??
      Hopefully science will have some cure in next few years. T is honestly one nasty sh** to have. You cant go ANY loud events..but again there are worst things out there which I don't have.
      just like Glenn my T is about 5 now, and even though AC is on , I can still hear slight whistle in my left ear. If I was home I would need a masker. What a god damn adjustment we have to do!
       
    5. Glenn
      Balanced

      Glenn Member

      Location:
      North Syracuse, New York
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/06/2014
      Kevin,
      you are SO MUCH like me! Ive had many days where I dont notice it, then i find myself not noticing it, so i listen for it..LOL :) I know its not funny and I dont mean to poke fun. Its just nice to know others experience the same things i do.
       
    6. kevin b
      Fine

      kevin b Member

      Location:
      Hope well junction, NY
      Tinnitus Since:
      1/2014
      like right now it seems like it is gone, I don't know but I am praying my serotion is low and as the meds build up maybe my brain just misses being on the meds so long, that is all I can figure because nothing else happened, no loud noise or other medicicnes. Sleep is tough, straight sleep I mean, I usually get up every few hours and some nights the noise almost doubles? What do you guys do for sleep?
       
    7. Glenn
      Balanced

      Glenn Member

      Location:
      North Syracuse, New York
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/06/2014
      I use just a regular fan on good nights(low volume T). On bad nights(high volume T), i use a white noise app on my ipad. Both work well for me. Thank god for my sleep hasn't really become an issue... yet. <fingers crossed>
       
    8. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      I truly understand what you are going through, Kevin, and those of you who are newer sufferers. I was just like that too during the first few months. On top of my ultra high pitch loud tinnitus, I also had severe hyperacusis which turned all normal sounds into piercingly hurtful sensation, like scratching glass with metal. I couldn't stand the normal noise of TV, driving, washing dishes, social conversation, even the soft voice of my wife from a normal distance. Every sound felt like my ears being drilled & pierced. I had to withdraw from going out. No more movies, parties, eating outs, outdoor activities etc. I had to wear ear plugs all the time, but the ear plugs cut off all outside sounds, making the ultra high pitched loud tinnitus so dominant, so harsh to hear. Even masking had to be done with a low enough volume I could bear. I had to choose the lesser of the two evils, no run away, no escape.

      Besides, being someone with decades of on & off anxiety/panic disorder, T & H also brought on relentless anxiety and panic attacks with their own myriads of horrible symptoms. Panic attacks are some of the worst sensations the human body have to bear, so much so that people become home bound or ground bound (panic about flying) just to avoid those horrible symptoms of panic attacks. For those who had suffered panic attacks and tinnitus, you know how hard it is to live with both of these devils. Then add hyperacusis to the mix and it was pure hell.

      Life seemed so lonely, scared, hurtful and hopeless. Each day was a long, dark day of hurt and despair. And when I went to sleep, if I could sleep at all, I dreaded the almost inevitable loud scream of T awaiting for me once I woke up. And worse, the anxiety & panic prone brain had no chance against the raging scream in the ears the minute it woke up, and would instantly caved into another round of anxiety & panic attack even before I was fully awake enough to have a chance to reason myself out of these attacks. I had to instantly grab my bottles of meds. This was my utmost nightmare a few years back. Ativan, Prozac, sleeping pills kept me alive. They didn't cure or reduce T, but they prevented me from doing the unthinkable and everyday, as the tired and stressed out mind saw no way out but just endless sufferings ahead, perhaps for life, it dangled out the big 'S' word to make my overwhelmed nerves even worse. I thought I would never recover from such horror show and that T would be my end game.

      But today, with a few years gone by, I am living a normal, enjoyable & productive life. Never say never. H is long gone, fading in a few months. T is still around, ringing just as loud and high pitch. T has not changed. I have changed. It doesn't scare me any more. My brain has hardened to this loud ringing and has ceased to treat it as a threat. I wake up most morning with the same loud raging scream. But my brain doesn't even respond to it. It fades it out of consciousness during the day, except when I am alerted on the subject of T like now. But I can listen to it without panic like before. This is something I considered impossible at the start. I was fooled by the T bully with so many distorted thoughts (cognitive distortions) and wrongly believed that the future will be a total catastrophe. What a T lie. Don't believe it. My story is not unique. Many people posted their success stories that they overcome T and live a happy life despite the horror show in the beginning. I am not superhuman, I am anxiety & panic prone. So if I can do it, most people can too. So relax, calm down, be positive and hopeful about the future. God bless you all with speedy recovery.
       
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    9. kevin b
      Fine

      kevin b Member

      Location:
      Hope well junction, NY
      Tinnitus Since:
      1/2014
      You know the funny thing is that my T is probably not as bad as most people I have read about, at times I get spikes late at night that are loud like a dentist drill, but usually the noise is high pitched but regular tv or conversation covers it. For me the hardest part is the constant thinking of it, I know this is wrong but how do you stop thinking about it. I too have suffered from anxiety and depression for 25 years, I won't say this is my hardest battle but the last 2 months certainly rank up there. I am trying to live as normal as possible but most days it is still hard to get out of bed. I still pray everyday for God to take this from me, but I certainly understand there are worse things out there and many people much worse than me, I have a beautiful family and my health. I am truly amazed at the stories I read of how long many of you have dealt with this. I am going to see an audiologist tomorrow about looking into hearing aids. I have heard from done that people with minimal high frequency loss could benefit from them. I also started custom audio notched therapy tonite to see if maybe I can at least reduce the severity . I truly appreciate you reaching out, it means so much. I can honestly say that one good thing that has come out of this is how great the people on this site are! Thank you again for reaching out and I pray that someday I can help someone as you have to me. May god bless you and hope to talk to you again soon!
      Kevin
       
    10. Magpie
      Sporty

      Magpie Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/15/1999

      I have had anxiety and periods of depression most of my life. Shyness and lack of confidence is probably one of the reasons why I have had those problems. Just prior to me acquiring Meniere's I went through a period of intense depression so it might have been a catalyst for it. I also had meningitis when I was young which has been linked or suggested as a cause for Meniere's. I believe that there are two types of depression... clinical where the brain has a chemical imbalance and depression that occurs because of emotional distress. In the first instance treatment can be in the form of antidepressants but in the second instance I strongly believe that unless you treat the cause it is unlikely that any improvement will be made. Antidepressants in my case would not fix those issues that caused me distress so antidepressants would just be a masker but the problem would always be there. I think that it is harder for those with pre-existing emotional/psychological issues to habituate to their tinnitus but it isn't impossible. For me there are other issues that are more important so my tinnitus is secondary and I have had it for a long time so I accepted it and it no longer impacts on my life as it once did. Give it time Kevin and the same will happen for you.
       
    11. Sean

      Sean Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      01-01-2011
      billie48,

      Thank you for your post.Very inspiring!.
      luckly my T has gone down a lot. I feel for those whose T is high all the time, but i agree with you that our brain get used to T..atleast some what if not 100%.
      I just can't imagine how any one can survive if there is no white noise and T volume is high .
       

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