Worried About Getting Into a Relationship/Dating

Discussion in 'Support' started by Rachiejo, May 18, 2015.

tinnitus forum
    1. Rachiejo

      Rachiejo Member

      Location:
      UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/14
      I'm a bit worried and nervous about dating and getting into a relationship with this condition! I haven't actually been in a proper relationship since I got tinnitus which is about 2 years ago and I think it's cause of fear of rejection and telling them about it.

      I know it's probably silly to worry about this but it's difficult at the age of 23 to tell someone who you might be interested in. I tend to sleep without any background noise at night but I worry what they will think if I might struggle sleeping and have to turn background noise on or wear earplugs if we went anywhere with loud music.

      It would be so much easier to meet someone with T who actually understands what it's like! :( Has anyone met someone after having T and how soon & how did you tell them you had the condition? :)
       
      • Hug Hug x 2
    2. It's a valid worry imo..though I think you will meet someone :)
       
    3. millions of people have T!
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    4. Rachiejo

      Rachiejo Member

      Location:
      UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/14
      @Street Spirit I hope so at some point! I just worry about telling them. I guess I don't have to tell them straight away :(
       
    5. marqualler
      Nerdy

      marqualler Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Minneapolis, MN
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection / Mild Noise Induced Hearing Loss
      @Rachiejo Just my opinion because I got tinnitus after I have been married for a while, but, I tend to think that most people wouldn't find tinnitus a deterrent to dating at all. In fact I would find someone with tinnitus to be a desirable trait because I would understand that that person has things in his or her life that they are dealing with and dealing with well. I have a lot more empathy for other people now with tinnitus and so likely that is another desirable trait for someone dating you. It's the same thing really with any type of personal worry about what others will think and I think most people find that those internal worries are not at all concerns to other people. I know that I have met people lately who I later found out had some level of hearing loss and it didn't affect my opinion of them at all--in fact it gave me an even greater respect and admiration for that person.

      Good luck!
       
    6. Asian

      Asian Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      4 weeks
    7. Luca
      Amused

      Luca Member

      Location:
      Vienna, Austria
      Tinnitus Since:
      3/2010
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Neck injury
      I always bring up the beep sooner or later, since either party can be all other kinds of crazy this should be the least of your worries. :p

      Some people will just change the subject because they dont even know what it is and be like "OK", some people will ask you about it, and some people will tell you that they have that aswell and don't even care.

      Rarely you might come across a moron that will be like "OMG THATS SO HORRIBLE, I HAVE HEARD PEOPLE KILL THEMSELVES OVER IT" .....

      "....well thank you very much for the encouragement" :D

      Then you know that person is not even worth your time anyway.

      Once you get to know someone and they like you it won't be a problem.

      You don't need to go on the date and start with Hello I am Rachiejo and I have tinntius :p
       
      • Like Like x 2
    8. RicoS
      Confused

      RicoS Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress or Acoustic trauma
      That's what some girl said to me when I told them at work I have T.... :X3:
       
    9. Giovanni
      Insomnious

      Giovanni Member

      Location:
      Rochester
      Tinnitus Since:
      2/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Woke up one morning.
      You know a lot of people have T haha, I told my bestfriend about me having it and he was like "OMG DUDE I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE" and he actually has a beautiful relationship. T shouldn't stop you from dating.
       
      • Like Like x 1
      • Helpful Helpful x 1
    10. Danny Boy
      Cheerful

      Danny Boy Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      7/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection
      Haha...Let's go on a date then! Anyway, yeah, I would assume dating someone with tinnitus is best, as they'd understand you and vice-versa. And I know a few people with tinnitus mostly men, so no ladies.
       
    11. MattK

      MattK Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2/13/2014
      Honestly, I think your T would only bother them if it bothers you. And who knows? The person you meet may have something he's self-conscious about too. We've all got flaws. Plus, maybe he won't be the type who likes going to concerts.
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    12. Ricky81
      Worried

      Ricky81 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      July 14, 2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Assault/Contusion/Ear Infection
      We need a T dating website.
       
      • Funny Funny x 1
    13. Danny Boy
      Cheerful

      Danny Boy Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      7/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection
      We sure do. Maybe tt can have like a dating section or something?
       
    14. MattK

      MattK Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2/13/2014
      Does T still have a pretty big impact on your life?
       
    15. Danny Boy
      Cheerful

      Danny Boy Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      7/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection
      Nope. Not at all. I'm lucky, but mine was really, really bad beforehand.
       
    16. Rachiejo

      Rachiejo Member

      Location:
      UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/14
      Thanks for all the comments guys! It has made me feel a lot better that my T isn't as big of an issue dating wise as i thought it was :p
       
    17. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      I know @Danny Boy is looking for a date....he is exactly your age and from the UK like you.
      Although he is cured of t at the moment, he knows what its like.....
       
    18. Danny Boy
      Cheerful

      Danny Boy Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      7/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection
      You're a great wingman ^_^. But alas dating doesn't go well for me haha.
       
    19. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      It will be love at first ring hahaha
       
      • Funny Funny x 1
    20. jimH
      No Mood

      jimH Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      30 years+
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic trauma
      All you've got to do @Danny Boy is keep them laughing. Girls really like funny guys! I did that to distract them so they wouldn't notice what I looked like...:LOL: My ex wife told our daughter that the thing that she does really miss about me is how much I made her laugh..:D
       
    21. Danny Boy
      Cheerful

      Danny Boy Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      7/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection
      Hope Argos will be rich enough for her blood lol
       
    22. Danny Boy
      Cheerful

      Danny Boy Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      7/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection
      Well, Benny Hill did a pretty good job at it lol
       
      • Agree Agree x 1
    23. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      I dont get it....
       
    24. Danny Boy
      Cheerful

      Danny Boy Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      7/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection
      You'll have to be English to understand that one lol
       
      • Helpful Helpful x 1
    25. Danny Boy
      Cheerful

      Danny Boy Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      7/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection
      Anyway...Here's a joke...Wife wakes up hits her husband and says you're a lousy lover...He hits her back with a shoe and she says what's that for? He says that's for knowing the difference.
       
    26. Tweaker
      Sad

      Tweaker Member Benefactor

      Location:
      UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2010
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure
      I am married with kids and tinnitus hasn't affected things for me, but then I'm past the disco dancing days. Probably more difficult when younger like yourself as you tend to meet people in social situations which can be loud. Having said that, there are plenty of ways to meet people in quieter places, without resorting to going to your local library (ha ha). I love doing outdoor stuff like mountain biking which is fun and quiet. I do loads of stuff, just nowhere with loud live music.
      The other thing is that tinnitus shouldn't define us as a person. It shouldn't be the most important thing about us. Yes it has impacted my life in a huge way and at one point I made it the most important thing about me. Now most people don't know I have it or forget I have it as I don't feel the need to talk about it much to others. I only tell people if I'm in a situation where I need to leave because of it. If someone has a problem with you having T, then they don't care enough for you and are not worth dating.
       
      • Like Like x 2
      • Agree Agree x 2
    27. BobDigi
      Kick ass

      BobDigi Member

      Location:
      UK, Fareham
      Tinnitus Since:
      5.6.14
      Well you don't need to bother telling anyone till you know you like eachother. And then if you tell him, and explain the fact you may need some noise on when you sleep in the future, and you aren't keen going anywhere too loud because you need to protect your ears, if he's understanding and a decent person, he'll understand and you'll have nothing to worry about.
      If he has a problem with it, fuck him. He's not worth the hassle anyway.
       
      • Like Like x 2
      • Agree Agree x 1
      • Useful Useful x 1
    28. Ricky81
      Worried

      Ricky81 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      July 14, 2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Assault/Contusion/Ear Infection
      T pick up lines....

      -Beauty is not measured by looks, but rather by loudness of T.

      -The louder the T, the louder I will make you scream my name tonite.

      -You have T? let's practice making a T baby and talk about our future.

      - If silence is golden, we are not made for each other but our T will bring us closer.
       
      • Funny Funny x 1
    29. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      -you look T-licious...
       
      • Funny Funny x 4
    30. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      or a great pick up line I just saw on the chat section here.
      -I accidently peed in our cat's litter box during the night....I thought it was a dream but it was true.
       
      • Funny Funny x 3

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