Worst Part About Tinnitus Is the Impact It Has on Social Life...

Discussion in 'Support' started by MikeB1996, Dec 31, 2017.

    1. MikeB1996

      MikeB1996 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      8/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Concert/rave
      I'm pretty much used to my tinnitus... I'm at the point where I can go to bed, hear nothing but my tinnitus and still fall asleep easy enough... but the worst part is saying no to friends who invited you to a party at a nightclub to celebrate new years.

      Guess it'll be a lonely new years :) hope all you guys are doing okay, I wish you a happy new year!
       
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    2. Amv

      Amv Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      16/7/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      -
      Hello Mike ! I am in the same situation. A good friend has invited me to her House tomorrow , she will do a party , really dont know what to do as my T is keeping improving
       
    3. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      If you were born in 1996, you are 21 years old. This is the age when how you spend the next 50 years of your life is being determined. Consider focusing on your education (as opposed to focusing on socializing and parties) as a way to improve your future earning capability. If you decide to attempt to do what you have to do to maximize the total fun you will have in your lifetime, tinnitus increasing the cost of those short run temptations might actually end up improving you life in the long run.
       
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    4. fishbone
      Shitfaced

      fishbone Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1988
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      loud noise and very bad sickness
      Bill people need to live a life :)

      There are fun/enjoyable activities that are not loud and damaging to the ears.....
       
    5. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      You have a choice - have fun during your teens and 20s and have "limited fun" from then on, or have lots of fun after your 20s or 30s (paid for by foregoing forming any memories during your teens and 20s or even 30s). Both are valid options. Everything depends on your personal characteristics like the rate at which you discount the future, your expected age at death, the value of your inheritance (if any), etc.
       
    6. Dana
      Busy

      Dana Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Bucharest, Romania
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2008
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Multi-factorial
      Yes, tinnitus means good bye to parties and clubs, celebrations in the street of the coming of the New Year, live concerts, etc
      Tinnitus affects so many aspects of life...
      Some of the above could be enjoyed with good ear protection (concerts, for example) but others not.
      I do not think you can protect your ears enough in order to go to a club.
       
    7. fishbone
      Shitfaced

      fishbone Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1988
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      loud noise and very bad sickness
      Sorry but I see no limited fun in my life and I have lived it to the max from the time i was born and still enjoy life and do what I love to do. How do you build up memories, if you don't do anything? Sure we need to protect our ears, but not every sound is bad and not every sound is damaging. My tinnitus is VERY LOUD and my hearing is garbage, but I still live my life and no ringing will ever take that away from me :)
       
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    8. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      MikeB1996

      MikeB1996 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      8/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Concert/rave
      I just wanna say the past few months i have been looking after my mother who has cataracts (will have a surgery in January, I'm happy for her) while my father is in hospital from a broken leg after a work accident. I just hope you don't think that I'm some brat who wants to party all the time, my father came home from hospital just today, and said if i wish i may go to a party, but like i said, because of T i wont.

      I appreciate all the help bill, but that straight up had nothing to do with my post.
      And money ain't everything.. not to me anyway.
       
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    9. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      MikeB1996

      MikeB1996 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      8/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Concert/rave
      I really admire you... Tinnitus sure is hell for newbies, but it really does get easier as time goes.
       
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    10. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      MikeB1996

      MikeB1996 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      8/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Concert/rave
      If i were you I'd go, the last party i was at i just asked them could they turn it down when it was too loud :) can't do that in a public place im afraid :D
       
    11. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      I haven't been doing much this year, as a result of tinnitus.

      I would rather not go into details, but let's just say that I am happy about what I got as a result of paying for it with my teens, 20s, and part of my 30s.

      You are an athlete, so I am sure you are comfortable investing time and effort now, for a payoff later. All I was trying to say is that the return on investment can be high during one's teens and 20s.
       
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    12. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      I am sorry about your parents having health problems. I am glad that the doctors can do something about those problems. My dad was diagnosed with cancer when I was a teen.

      Are you sure you will feel the same way about it for the rest of your life?

      Money allows you to have choices and options. It relaxes the constraints that you face.

      I was just trying to point out that the fact that T interferes with your social life might have a silver lining.
       
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    13. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      It is not too late to go back to school, open a new business, etc., at any point in one's life. However, I know that I would Not be able to work as hard and be as productive Now, as I was able to back when I was in my teens and 20s.
       
    14. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      MikeB1996

      MikeB1996 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      8/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Concert/rave
      had that way of thinking all my life, money never gave me happiness, i doubt it'll ever will, sure it can buy things and take you places but I'm happy where i am and what I'm doing.

      Having loads of money means doing something you don't like in order to keep on living.. Yeah you'll end up pretty rich but empty inside. Unless you find something you like and make a ton of money out of that.. Which is extremely unlikely :)

      As to my parents im just glad my father is finally out and my mother finally got the date of the surgery.

      And T interfering with social life creates that feeling of being left out, feeling like you're the odd one out. And that's not easy to cope with, even harder trying to explain it.
      Either ways i know you meant to focus on the positive and help, so thanks for that! Sorry to hear about your father too.
       
    15. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      MikeB1996

      MikeB1996 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      8/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Concert/rave
      Not the kind of life id want, i see your point..I also think how you grew up plays a big part of it too.
       
    16. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      The problem is that the lack of money might make you Unhappy. Happiness is fleeting. Unhappiness can last a lifetime.
      People can get bored.
      Living a life of quiet desperation for decades, being preoccupied with paying the bills, might also make one feel empty inside.
       
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    17. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      MikeB1996

      MikeB1996 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      8/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Concert/rave
      If you say that getting the money is the most important thing, you will spend your life completely wasting your time.


      You'll be doing things you don't like doing in order to go on living. That is, to go on doing things you don't like doing. Which is stupid.
      Better to have a short life that is full of what you like doing than a long life spent in a miserable way.

      Life can be so much more when we don't let money decide our direction and purpose in life.
       
    18. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      Nobody is after "money". If you can't earn enough money to pay for avoiding doing things you don't want to be doing, and to do things you want to do, I would say that By Definition you would be wasting your time on Earth.
      Keep in mind that we are not talking about liking what you do for a year or two, we are talking about enjoying work throughout your career. No matter how much you enjoy what you do if you need to do it professionally (i.e., the output has to be perfect, you have to do it even when you don't feel like it) and if you have to do it for as long as 50 years, I think it is safe to say that after 20 years even you won't be looking forward to coming to work.

      People like scientists might enjoy their work, but in that case you need to work even harder during your teens and 20s to get a chance to have those jobs. My guess is that people who do what they enjoy doing (without being amazingly lucky and without having to pay for it with their teens and 20s) are people like stand up comedians, male porn actors, DJs, etc. - they have a blast while they still have a job, but many of them end up being homeless.
      I am not sure what that "more" you refer to above is when one is forced to do what one dislikes (I think this is a reasonable expectation for a poor person over 30) and doesn't even have enough money to pay for the things one wants to have for himself and his family.
       
    19. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      MikeB1996

      MikeB1996 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      8/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Concert/rave
      @Bill Bauer we can argue all night about this, but reality is we have different lifestyles, perceptions and goals.. and i dislike arguing, I'll just end it here and wish you a happy new year :)
       
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    20. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      Happy New Year!
       
    21. Leodavinci
      Bookworm

      Leodavinci Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Kansas
      Tinnitus Since:
      6/26/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Idiopathic + Sudden hearing loss
      Don't go. It's not worth it. Wear ear plugs including custom attenuating plugs whenever you MUST be in very loud environments. The world around you is accustomed to self harm. They're unusual. Not you. Find solace in intimate get togethers and quiet recreation.
       
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    22. Flamingo1

      Flamingo1 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Orlando, FL
      Tinnitus Since:
      4-15-2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic trauma
      Interesting discussion between you and Bill. One of the reasons I enjoy Tinnitus Talk so much is the everyday philosophy shared by members. Obviously Bill is a lot older and has the benefit of hindsight. Although it's important to enjoy the moment, I agree with Bill in that it's also important to plan for the future. All successful people I have read about talk about the sacrifices they made to get where they are today. You have a whole life ahead of you and a lot to look forward to! There will probably be a cure for some causes of tinnitus in your lifetime as well.
       
    23. JurgenG
      Approved

      JurgenG Member Benefactor Advocate

      Location:
      Belgium
      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise exposure / headphone accident maybe?
      Well I'd like to add I have a similiar problem, to the point where I am scared to go in a bar with plugs if there are people talking and with soft music on.
      But I'd like to tell you that A LOT of people with T do all these things said in this topic and far more, with simple earplugs, so it's not impossible.

      My NY:
      I went to a "quiet" dinner with a group of friends and some background music, last evening, I used plugs because people that speak are already too loud for me and my self-inflicted H.
      I took a break than, so stayed inside when it was firework time.
      After that I went to a local place with music, brought my plugs and muffs, went inside and measured more than 100 dB, luckely it didn't feel loud to me because of my double protection.
      I stayed inside for literally 2 min then went back outside, because I was too afraid, even though it didn't feel too loud.
      So after an hour talking to the smokers outside, I figured it was time for Netflix.

      #thisisnotfun
       
    24. Flamingo1

      Flamingo1 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Orlando, FL
      Tinnitus Since:
      4-15-2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic trauma
      100 dB is too loud even for those WITHOUT tinnitus! Good for you for stepping outside. Those levels should be made illegal.
       

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