1.5 Years In... Not Getting Any Better Whatsoever

I'm slightly frustrated right now.
I have soaring noise when I wake up, gets a bit better after an hour or so but I can hear it clearly all day.
Its a constantly modulated noise/very high frequency that changes every 5-10 seconds....
I simply cannot ignore it and I have had at least 16 months to try...it's just too loud.

I have tried every mental exercise I can think of to lessen the effect on my life but to no avail.
I have not habituated one bit since this started....Feels like I have tried everything...except drugs.
Will not use drugs , no way. This whole thing started because of Benzos which were prescribed to me due to wrong diagnosis.

I keep reading that it gets better , what exactly gets better? And when..typically?
I read about people having bad days and good days....I have probably had about 10 good days total. Its killing me. I am worried that one of these days I will simply give up.

Not sure why I am writing this to be honest, probably no answer to my questions.
Guess I am frustrated at my complete lack of progress.

 

I hear and share your frustration. I too hear the noise all the time and have not habituated. One more person tells me to get used to it and I may lose control.

 

Do you still have physical reactions like nausea, heart palpation, addrenaline attack etc. or is it more like a huge annoyance? After five months I still feel like puking some days. Maybe you don't notice your progress.

@RaZaH: Have you been into audio work lately? I was working part time in small recording studio. Looking forward to go on with that if I can

 

I have heart palpations and anxiety

 

No, I have no heart palpitations or anxiety , well maybe some anxiety but nothing akin to a panic attack or anything like that. It never even occured to me that this might "hurt" me or be a sign of brain tumor or something like that...if that is what you are referring to ?

I guess the only physical thing is that sometimes my ears hurt real bad momentarily and very often I can not only hear the sound but also "feel" it .....which I really hate. For me its more of an insane annoyance and gets me depressed , mostly because of my music career.

It's kind of weird as I have come to terms with this condition in some ways ,I am ok with never hearing silence again and I am ok with the "Wheeeeeeeeeee" 3.1 Khz part of it but the super hi freq drives me nuts.
I guess that's some sort of progress but no matter what I do a cannot get used to hi freq, its just too loud and modulated to ignore.

@JTP Audio work has proven to be hard , both because I don't really enjoy it that much with this condition and also because I have some hearing loss which I am basically blocking out until I am ready to deal with that.
I used to work on audio all the time ,spend all my time thinking about audio,all my friends are musicians, making music is my life. Now...man....Dunno...I am confused as to who I am.

I have been dealing with health issues for over 10 years so I am no stranger to toughing it out..but this is insane.
I am super stubborn though and I am not sure if that is serving me well in this case, a friend of mine has literally begged me to try the drug option...but I can't do that.

I would walk to the moon to get rid of this Hi Freq.

 

@Leah @JTP , Man , I feel for you guys If you are experiencing anxiety and/or panic attacks on top of this crap.
I had panic attacks years back but found a way to stop them in their tracks in one simple step.
Been hoping for a similar "counterintuitive" cure for T as well, sometimes I really believe that the cure will be something extremely simple....sometimes I don't

 

Please tell me how you stopped your panic attacks.

 

Well, It might not be easy but its simple.

I simply decided (based on my research) to enjoy my next panic attack and in fact try everything I could to induce one.
I spent one evening waiting for it to happen with the intention of enjoying it and I found that it is impossible to have a panic attack if you are waiting to enjoy it. Does not compute and the spell is broken.

People spend a lot of time to worry about their next attack which in fact will cause another attack.
Being determined to just enjoy the experience or at the very least just give in to it and feel the ride seems to break the cycle. Very counterintuitve but worked for me ....took me one evening and I knew I would never experience that again, I could literally feel it.

Actually the first indication of this for me was that I decided that whenever I felt anxious I would go into my room and dance, yeah ..dance and sing ...try being anxious and dance and sing....not possible, something has to give, in this case it was the anxiety. Might sound like woodoo but it works I guarantee that , I was in a bad way at the time, real bad.

I advise you to spend an evening trying everything to get an attack and then when it hits , enjoy it.
Program yourself to look forward to it. Might as well, since you will probably have one anyways.

It's that simple if you commit to it, you might be amazed...I was.

Of course I did not have T at the time so I was "only" dealing with the P attacks.
For general anxiety ....don't know , but for P attacks , this works!

 

@erik . Did this result in lower level T or just less time spent listening to it ?

 

Inspiring thanks for sharing.

 

RaZaH sorry to hear about your high frequency T. I have been able to somewhat have lesser high frequency T days
By making sure I'm getting enough of the following everyday ..... Vitamin B at least 50 mgs, High potency B complex, 50 mgs or more of thiamin ,25 mgs of zinc, 400 mgs of magnesium, niacin start with 50 mgs, if it doesn't make any difference take more. I eat a banana everyday , and lots of steamed veges and coconut water.No caffeine, 80 % reduction in salt intake , no white sugar.

 

Wishing and waiting for it to get better won't get you anywhere. You need to accept it and move on with your life as best as you can.

 

Intuitively I know that to be the truth and have known since this started, just find it hard to let it go.
When its not super bad (which it is most of the time) I can totally think like that.

 

Erik put it best, it's the same for me. I guess one day I just had enough of being frustrated with my T and stopped caring. For awhile there I was still fairly miserable and I can't say my response to the noise changed over night but one night laying in bed I remember thinking "that's odd, usually this would be bugging me a lot more" and I dozed off not to long later. It's one of the hardest things to do, but you need to accept that it's likely here to stay. If you aren't able to do this "manually" (which to be honest I doubt anyone could do it that way) perhaps it'll just take you a little while longer to eventually realise being frustrated with it isn't going to get you anywhere and you won't have any other choice but to accept it. It'll just happen by itself at a subconscious level or something..?

Most of us have been where you are mate, hearing that once more may help. Be strong.

 

RaZaH, I did pretty much the same as you for the panic attacks. It works! Have not had one in, well it's been so long I can't remember.

Try to take away T's power over you like you did the panic attacks. I say to myself, Ok go ahead have your fun, make your noise, after awhile T's power over me has lessened quite a bit...

 

@gary yeah, amazing isn't it ? Anxiety will never bother me again as I know my instinct will kick and and decide to enjoy it and thereby kill it in its tracks. Amazing stuff.

It's strange , I kind of know that is the way to go. I just haven't found a "method" if you will.
I even tried this mental thing where I tried to make T my best friend , sounds insane but worth a try.
Too bad it failed.

I guess that is why I am exhausted , tried so many things to not be so annoyed by it.
Two days ago I decided I would just live with it...that lasted for the two days and then I broke.
I think I need to gather the strength for one more try. Maybe I will try to look forward to it and decide to enjoy it.

 

Yeah, I get it, everyone has to find their own way. Use your intelligence, remember It will not kill you it is only a sound, a sound you do not like, but just a sound non the less. For me Benzos do wonders, you will find what works for you.

I never thought I would say this, but I would rather have T than those constant panic attacks.

I am back to around 65% of myself. It is hard to tell sometimes because I got T after two bouts with cancer and then two months after I had a 4X open heart bypass surgery I got T. I never got a chance to recover from the bypass when the T started. Might be stress induced.

Just keep reading here and other site, you will find your way.

 

It's ok to feel down when it's super bad. I do too. Even after 3 years orso. But most of the time I don't care or even better do not notice. You should get there. Everyone at his or hers own pace.

 

hey RaZaH and others I have self some kind of stick in the ears .Tonight i had a lack of sleap.I have tried 1000 times
to ignore al about t,but its alwayes back.I got t 1996 from music.But after ayear it got wery low and i didnt notice much.
A virus 2012 and t went mad.I have done many Things in my life,one was when i was 16 in 1968 i played
psykadelic on my fender strat with a booaster and a Wah pedal.I think my ears remembers that.
I find it wery hard to cope with that high frequent hissing and sometimes pain.in the daytime iuse Widex with marskers and hearingadd.I have some hearinglos.As i am 61 I had the oppetunety to get a pension.So now i have good time to listen to the sound.I am from Copenhagen but my Young wife is germam,and we live in a house beside hamburg.I try to be something for my young sons.As erik siy i put aktivities in the time,so the dayes goes.
I still dream of a t free life.Like most of you.I think that the cure is reg.of inner ears.Perhaps asia or china can offer a real.cure.Until that the fancy vns.

Til RaZaH you have to hold on we make it together.If you find something give me a call.

 

Your brain will adapt to hearing loss in the same way you learn to compensate flaws in monitors and room acoustics, don't you think? Bass is the bitch anyway
Maybe practising some instrument would keep you into music until you can enjoy tweaking audio again. I've found it quite therapeutical myself.

 

RaZaH, sound therapy has helped me I think. I listen to a white noise cd my otoneurlogoist gave me. I listen to it as much as I can and have done so since February 2012. I use it to partially mask and I think it has helped me to partially habituate. I am still struggling with sleep at times, though.