1.5 Years In... Not Getting Any Better Whatsoever

Discussion in 'Support' started by RaZaH, Sep 24, 2013.

tinnitus forum
    1. RaZaH
      Not amused

      RaZaH Member Benefactor Team Tech

      Location:
      Reykjavík, Iceland
      Tinnitus Since:
      2012/04
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Benzo + loud noise
      I'm slightly frustrated right now.
      I have soaring noise when I wake up, gets a bit better after an hour or so but I can hear it clearly all day.
      Its a constantly modulated noise/very high frequency that changes every 5-10 seconds....
      I simply cannot ignore it and I have had at least 16 months to try...it's just too loud.

      I have tried every mental exercise I can think of to lessen the effect on my life but to no avail.
      I have not habituated one bit since this started....Feels like I have tried everything...except drugs.
      Will not use drugs , no way. This whole thing started because of Benzos which were prescribed to me due to wrong diagnosis.

      I keep reading that it gets better , what exactly gets better? And when..typically?
      I read about people having bad days and good days....I have probably had about 10 good days total. Its killing me. I am worried that one of these days I will simply give up.

      Not sure why I am writing this to be honest, probably no answer to my questions.
      Guess I am frustrated at my complete lack of progress.
       
      • Helpful Helpful x 1
    2. Leah

      Leah Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Chardon, Ohio USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      2007
      I hear and share your frustration. I too hear the noise all the time and have not habituated. One more person tells me to get used to it and I may lose control.
       
      • Like Like x 2
      • Hug Hug x 1
    3. JTP
      No Mood

      JTP Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Finland
      Tinnitus Since:
      5/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Shit happens
      Do you still have physical reactions like nausea, heart palpation, addrenaline attack etc. or is it more like a huge annoyance? After five months I still feel like puking some days. Maybe you don't notice your progress.

      @RaZaH: Have you been into audio work lately? I was working part time in small recording studio. Looking forward to go on with that if I can
       
      • Like Like x 1
    4. Leah

      Leah Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Chardon, Ohio USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      2007
      I have heart palpations and anxiety:(
       
    5. RaZaH
      Not amused

      RaZaH Member Benefactor Team Tech

      Location:
      Reykjavík, Iceland
      Tinnitus Since:
      2012/04
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Benzo + loud noise
      No, I have no heart palpitations or anxiety , well maybe some anxiety but nothing akin to a panic attack or anything like that. It never even occured to me that this might "hurt" me or be a sign of brain tumor or something like that...if that is what you are referring to ?

      I guess the only physical thing is that sometimes my ears hurt real bad momentarily and very often I can not only hear the sound but also "feel" it .....which I really hate. For me its more of an insane annoyance and gets me depressed , mostly because of my music career.

      It's kind of weird as I have come to terms with this condition in some ways ,I am ok with never hearing silence again and I am ok with the "Wheeeeeeeeeee" 3.1 Khz part of it but the super hi freq drives me nuts.
      I guess that's some sort of progress but no matter what I do a cannot get used to hi freq, its just too loud and modulated to ignore.

      @JTP Audio work has proven to be hard , both because I don't really enjoy it that much with this condition and also because I have some hearing loss which I am basically blocking out until I am ready to deal with that.
      I used to work on audio all the time ,spend all my time thinking about audio,all my friends are musicians, making music is my life. Now...man....Dunno...I am confused as to who I am.

      I have been dealing with health issues for over 10 years so I am no stranger to toughing it out..but this is insane.
      I am super stubborn though and I am not sure if that is serving me well in this case, a friend of mine has literally begged me to try the drug option...but I can't do that.

      I would walk to the moon to get rid of this Hi Freq.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    6. RaZaH
      Not amused

      RaZaH Member Benefactor Team Tech

      Location:
      Reykjavík, Iceland
      Tinnitus Since:
      2012/04
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Benzo + loud noise
      @Leah @JTP , Man , I feel for you guys If you are experiencing anxiety and/or panic attacks on top of this crap.
      I had panic attacks years back but found a way to stop them in their tracks in one simple step.:android:
      Been hoping for a similar "counterintuitive" cure for T as well, sometimes I really believe that the cure will be something extremely simple....sometimes I don't :confused:
       
    7. Leah

      Leah Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Chardon, Ohio USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      2007
      Please tell me how you stopped your panic attacks.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    8. RaZaH
      Not amused

      RaZaH Member Benefactor Team Tech

      Location:
      Reykjavík, Iceland
      Tinnitus Since:
      2012/04
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Benzo + loud noise
      Well, It might not be easy but its simple.

      I simply decided (based on my research) to enjoy my next panic attack and in fact try everything I could to induce one.
      I spent one evening waiting for it to happen with the intention of enjoying it and I found that it is impossible to have a panic attack if you are waiting to enjoy it. Does not compute and the spell is broken.:cool:

      People spend a lot of time to worry about their next attack which in fact will cause another attack.
      Being determined to just enjoy the experience or at the very least just give in to it and feel the ride seems to break the cycle. Very counterintuitve but worked for me ....took me one evening and I knew I would never experience that again, I could literally feel it.

      Actually the first indication of this for me was that I decided that whenever I felt anxious I would go into my room and dance, yeah ..dance and sing ...try being anxious and dance and sing....not possible, something has to give, in this case it was the anxiety. Might sound like woodoo but it works I guarantee that , I was in a bad way at the time, real bad.

      I advise you to spend an evening trying everything to get an attack and then when it hits , enjoy it.
      Program yourself to look forward to it. Might as well, since you will probably have one anyways.:whistle:

      It's that simple if you commit to it, you might be amazed...I was.:wideyed:

      Of course I did not have T at the time so I was "only" dealing with the P attacks.
      For general anxiety ....don't know , but for P attacks , this works!
       
      • Like Like x 1
    9. erik
      Breezy

      erik Manager Staff Benefactor

      Location:
      Washington State, USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/15/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Most likely hearing loss
      Wow guys, I am sorry you are having a hard time. I still have my moments but overall my experience is much better. I can only say from my perspective that I only started to really improve with my T when I got my anxiety and stressors under control. It took me many months of slow and steady progress for this to happen.... but it happened. I did go through 18 weeks of CBT counseling to help me deal with and challenge my negative thinking. Before T, I was often a negative person at least in much of my thinking. I was a glass half empty instead of a glass half full person.

      I also absorbed myself in work, family, volunteering and anything I could so I did not have much down time to think about my T. I was just forcing myself to ignore it by staying as busy as I could. I know this is not possible for everyone to do but I am just telling you the strategies that worked for me in the hopes that maybe something I said could be of use to you. I think if I had not done any of these things I would still be in the deep depths of tinnitus hell that I experienced the first several months.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    10. RaZaH
      Not amused

      RaZaH Member Benefactor Team Tech

      Location:
      Reykjavík, Iceland
      Tinnitus Since:
      2012/04
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Benzo + loud noise
      @erik . Did this result in lower level T or just less time spent listening to it ?
       
    11. erik
      Breezy

      erik Manager Staff Benefactor

      Location:
      Washington State, USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/15/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Most likely hearing loss
      @RaZaH . I think little of both. It was probably more my perception of the noise wasn't as negative anymore. As a result, it didn't bother me as much and I spent less time listening to it. Even now if I am engaged in something, I will not hear it, unless I stop and think about it. Then I notice it again and the noise is still there. I was at a meeting for 2 hours last night and engaged in discussion. About 1/2 way through it, I realized I hadn't heard my T and then there it was again. So I still struggle with it but it doesn't affect me negatively like it used to.

      I think when it is not as negative to you any longer, it is easier for your brain to automatically tune it out for much of the day or many times throughout the day. Also, it won't seem as loud even if it possible still is.
       
      • Like Like x 3
    12. Leah

      Leah Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Chardon, Ohio USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      2007
      Inspiring thanks for sharing.
       
    13. Sherri786
      Dreaming

      Sherri786 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2013
      RaZaH sorry to hear about your high frequency T. I have been able to somewhat have lesser high frequency T days
      By making sure I'm getting enough of the following everyday ..... Vitamin B at least 50 mgs, High potency B complex, 50 mgs or more of thiamin ,25 mgs of zinc, 400 mgs of magnesium, niacin start with 50 mgs, if it doesn't make any difference take more. I eat a banana everyday , and lots of steamed veges and coconut water.No caffeine, 80 % reduction in salt intake , no white sugar.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    14. Luca
      Amused

      Luca Member

      Location:
      Vienna, Austria
      Tinnitus Since:
      3/2010
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Neck injury
      Wishing and waiting for it to get better won't get you anywhere. You need to accept it and move on with your life as best as you can.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    15. RaZaH
      Not amused

      RaZaH Member Benefactor Team Tech

      Location:
      Reykjavík, Iceland
      Tinnitus Since:
      2012/04
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Benzo + loud noise
      Intuitively I know that to be the truth and have known since this started, just find it hard to let it go.
      When its not super bad (which it is most of the time) I can totally think like that.
       
    16. TJPositive
      Fine

      TJPositive Member

      Location:
      Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      2010
      Erik put it best, it's the same for me. I guess one day I just had enough of being frustrated with my T and stopped caring. For awhile there I was still fairly miserable and I can't say my response to the noise changed over night but one night laying in bed I remember thinking "that's odd, usually this would be bugging me a lot more" and I dozed off not to long later. It's one of the hardest things to do, but you need to accept that it's likely here to stay. If you aren't able to do this "manually" (which to be honest I doubt anyone could do it that way) perhaps it'll just take you a little while longer to eventually realise being frustrated with it isn't going to get you anywhere and you won't have any other choice but to accept it. It'll just happen by itself at a subconscious level or something..?

      Most of us have been where you are mate, hearing that once more may help. Be strong.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    17. gary
      Transparent

      gary Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Macomb, MI. USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Who Knows
      RaZaH, I did pretty much the same as you for the panic attacks. It works! Have not had one in, well it's been so long I can't remember.

      Try to take away T's power over you like you did the panic attacks. I say to myself, Ok go ahead have your fun, make your noise, after awhile T's power over me has lessened quite a bit...
       
      • Like Like x 1
    18. RaZaH
      Not amused

      RaZaH Member Benefactor Team Tech

      Location:
      Reykjavík, Iceland
      Tinnitus Since:
      2012/04
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Benzo + loud noise
      @gary yeah, amazing isn't it ? Anxiety will never bother me again as I know my instinct will kick and and decide to enjoy it and thereby kill it in its tracks. Amazing stuff.

      It's strange , I kind of know that is the way to go. I just haven't found a "method" if you will.
      I even tried this mental thing where I tried to make T my best friend , sounds insane but worth a try.
      Too bad it failed.

      I guess that is why I am exhausted , tried so many things to not be so annoyed by it.
      Two days ago I decided I would just live with it...that lasted for the two days and then I broke.
      I think I need to gather the strength for one more try. Maybe I will try to look forward to it and decide to enjoy it.o_O
       
    19. gary
      Transparent

      gary Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Macomb, MI. USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Who Knows
      Yeah, I get it, everyone has to find their own way. Use your intelligence, remember It will not kill you it is only a sound, a sound you do not like, but just a sound non the less. For me Benzos do wonders, you will find what works for you.

      I never thought I would say this, but I would rather have T than those constant panic attacks.

      I am back to around 65% of myself. It is hard to tell sometimes because I got T after two bouts with cancer and then two months after I had a 4X open heart bypass surgery I got T. I never got a chance to recover from the bypass when the T started. Might be stress induced.

      Just keep reading here and other site, you will find your way.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    20. Luca
      Amused

      Luca Member

      Location:
      Vienna, Austria
      Tinnitus Since:
      3/2010
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Neck injury
      It's ok to feel down when it's super bad. I do too. Even after 3 years orso. But most of the time I don't care or even better do not notice. You should get there. Everyone at his or hers own pace.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    21. jes
      Familiar

      jes Member Benefactor

      Location:
      copenhagen denmark
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2012
      hey RaZaH and others I have self some kind of stick in the ears .Tonight i had a lack of sleap.I have tried 1000 times
      to ignore al about t,but its alwayes back.I got t 1996 from music.But after ayear it got wery low and i didnt notice much.
      A virus 2012 and t went mad.I have done many Things in my life,one was when i was 16 in 1968 i played
      psykadelic on my fender strat with a booaster and a Wah pedal.I think my ears remembers that.
      I find it wery hard to cope with that high frequent hissing and sometimes pain.in the daytime iuse Widex with marskers and hearingadd.I have some hearinglos.As i am 61 I had the oppetunety to get a pension.So now i have good time to listen to the sound.I am from Copenhagen but my Young wife is germam,and we live in a house beside hamburg.I try to be something for my young sons.As erik siy i put aktivities in the time,so the dayes goes.
      I still dream of a t free life.Like most of you.I think that the cure is reg.of inner ears.Perhaps asia or china can offer a real.cure.Until that the fancy vns.

      Til RaZaH you have to hold on we make it together.If you find something give me a call.
       
    22. JTP
      No Mood

      JTP Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Finland
      Tinnitus Since:
      5/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Shit happens
      Your brain will adapt to hearing loss in the same way you learn to compensate flaws in monitors and room acoustics, don't you think? Bass is the bitch anyway:)
      Maybe practising some instrument would keep you into music until you can enjoy tweaking audio again. I've found it quite therapeutical myself.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    23. Grant1

      Grant1 Member

      RaZaH, sound therapy has helped me I think. I listen to a white noise cd my otoneurlogoist gave me. I listen to it as much as I can and have done so since February 2012. I use it to partially mask and I think it has helped me to partially habituate. I am still struggling with sleep at times, though.
       

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