30-Year-Old. Ears Poisoned by Wellbutrin.

Hey Y'all,

I first got tinnitus about 10 years ago. I couldn't hear what a friend was saying at a loud show, so she decided to yell directly in my ear. It caused me distress on and off over the years but I ultimately habituated to it.

5 years ago I fell into a horrible depression. I have tried every therapy you can think of to no avail. I am a trained herbalist and I have found nothing in the way of holistic therapies or nutritional supplements that has done a thing for my mental health. I have tried about 10 different antidepressant drugs and each one has either done nothing, sent me into an acute suicidal state, or has left me with lasting harm. The most regrettable of these is Wellbutrin, which almost immediately damaged both of my ears and has left me with severe tinnitus and chronic pressure in my right ear. It has been about 7 months since this happened.

Since developing Tinnitus, I have had to withdraw from Valium, which rendered me bedridden for 2 months, and I have not felt the same since. My mind is clouded, my memory is shot, I have no energy and I am so anxious and depressed that I can't even think of anything to do with my time. I am just killing time, listening to this screech in my ears, and trying my hardest to steer my mind away from suicidal thoughts and planning. Most of my friendships have faded away and my savings is dwindling. I still feel unable to work.

At one moment of active suicidal planning, I checked myself into a hospital and stayed for a week. It was only helpful in that I was unable to harm myself. Otherwise it was like being in prison. I received no real medical care or counseling the entire time.

At another particularly dark moment, I decided to drive to Charleston to get IV Ketamine treatments in hopes of buying myself some time. $3K later, I had experienced about 3 days of relief from my depression. If anything my T had worsened.

Currently, I am receiving TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation) treatments for depression and anxiety. For a short while I was receiving an experimental TMS treatment on a spot above my ear for T as well, but it seemed to temporarily worsen my T if anything, so I discontinued it.

My depression is lifting somewhat, but I am still left with benzo PAWS (post-acute withdrawal syndrome), and Tinnitus. My day-to-day life is miserable. I haven't felt even a moment of inspiration, excitement, motivation, or mental clarity in this entire 7 months. Once these TMS treatments are complete, I have to head home, find a cheaper place to live, find a job, and move on with my life. I am terrified that I won't be ready for it.

I need something to help. I need my depression to ease up. I need my mind to clear. I need a reduction in my T volume. If my progress stops any time soon, I fear I will not be able to continue living.

Is there really nothing that reliably helps? Should I be listening to notched white-noise every night? Do people whose ears have been damaged by Ototoxic drugs ever find relief?
Do any of y'all live near Asheville, NC?

 

Have a read up on Cinnarazine 15mg its for menieres and reducing tinnitus.
Might be worth asking your doctor if it could help you..it's a strong antihistamine

 

@glynis if she lives in the United States they don't prescribe this medicine here. Which is too bad.

 

What does your hearing look like? Any audiogram data?
Have you tried sound therapy?

 

Do you mean infusions worsened your tinnitus?
Why did you quit Valium?

 

Apparently my hearing is fine. White noise masks it a little and I am experimenting with notched white noise.

Yes, it did seem that Ketamine worsened my T a little. Not the infusions but the nasal ketamine I was prescribed after the infusions.

Valium very quickly messed up my head and made me extremely panicky. It never seemed to offer relief, but getting off was hell.

I am in the USA but I will look into that drug.

Thank you.

 

TMS hasn't helped my depression much at all. I am now considering ECT, but I am so worried that my tinnitus will worsen. I don't really have any other options, as I have been suicidal.. right?

 

Hi. Have you considered trying an MAOI like Nardil or Parnate for your depression? I'd recommend it before resorting to ECT. They elevate ALL the neurotransmitters by preventing their breakdown. I've been on Nardil for a few years and my depression is gone. Hope your day goes well.

 

Does it affect T? Do you mean you had been or have been ?

 

Yes, I'm still on it.

Well, it doesn't appear to affect my tinnitus either way. I take 60mg every morning and I notice no change in volume. Until a couple months ago I took 90mg per day. But I felt that I didnt need that high a dose. My T hasn't been great lately but I attribute that to a series of noise exposures, possibly hyperacusis.

It's a super drug for depression and anxiety. It also elevates gaba by preventing it's breakdown, which Parnate does not do. There are some important dietary restrictions to follow and this is why they are not more widely prescribed.

I think it's a better option than getting your brain zapped with electricity!

 

OH dangg!!! You've had T from 1994 wow! Does it take time to work like SSRIs take 4 weeks or something to start to "work"

 

Haha. Yeah. It wasn't too bad, though, and I just lived my life - minus loud noise. I was in bad shape psychologically the first few years with it. I had social anxiety and depression issues as a teenager, too. My tinnitus has only gotten worse about a year and a half ago, starting with a specific incident.

The Nardil does take a few weeks to really kick-in. And many doctors are not willing to prescribe it unless you have severe depression that has not responded to multiple medications.

 

Thanks for the recommendation. It seems that Anxiety due to coming off of valium and abilify are my main issues, but elevating gaba would help that.. Right now I'm taking gabapentin and it is somewhat helpful.

 

@Water_Avens

Hi. It takes some time for your body to fully adjust to being off the Valium. Things will continue to get better. I've had to come off of benzos before and also prolonged alcohol abuse and I know it can be difficult.

How is your depression?

 

How are you doing now Water? Your story resonates so much with my experience and I hope you're doing better.