5 Months Later, Life Still Sucks

I'm tired of fighting the depression that comes with the ringing. I was put on Abilify and Celexa, and now I can barely focus on what I'm doing. I program for a living so now I can barely hold a conceptual thought. I can't even enjoy video games or TV anymore. Imagine coming home after work and not getting any feeling of satisfactory relief. It's hell.

A few things did get better, like the hyperacusis went away when I started taking meds. But now I would still rather just give up. I'm not seeing much progress in terms of habituation. I still notice the ringing once a day.

The worst part is not knowing why this is happening. My hearing is fine. Yet still this high pitched hissing tone... It's whatever. I just want to be able to focus enough to watch some damn TV. Can anyone relate? Anyone been on psychotropics and know if this gets better? I've been on the same meds for five months. They help with emotion regulation but I'm sick of not being able to fully engaged with what I love.

 

Were you put on these meds, because of your tinnitus? Or you were on these before? Sometimes meds are really needed and sometimes they make the matter worst.

Depression, anger, feeling lost is a natural feeling when tinnitus hits. The emotions that tinnitus can bring, can be harsh and nasty at times. When I got hit with tinnitus early on, I just talked it out with lots of people and tried to get an understanding as to what was happening. I have been through tons of horrific ordeals and meds were always available to me, but i chose to fight it naturally through exercise and support.

It's been only 5 months f0r you. In all honesty, it probably took me 1-2 years to understand what was going on. It can take quite a while. Your feelings are natural and all of us felt them. It will take time to deal with this.

Exercise, distraction, support can go a long way...when it comes to dealing with tinnitus. Keep up the good work and don't ever give up!

 

@zkdr
I am sorry that you are feeling this way.
I do want you to know that you are still in the very early days, habituation can take longer than 5 months, I think this is the case for most people with intrusive tinnitus.
5 months in and I wasn't habituated at all - I was doing better, but still not great.
15 months in and I'm a lot better. I don't like hearing my tinnitus, but my negative emotional reaction to the sound is a lot less and it doesn't get me upset anymore. Little by little I am making steps towards habituation.
I am glad your hyperacusis is better - that's great. Try to focus on the positives here.
I'm managing my tinnitus without medication (other than a tiny dose of Remeron for sleep), so I can't comment on the use of medication.
I know one forum member, @brownbear has very severe tinnitus and is using an AD, I can't recall which one. He's doing quite well so he may offer you some insight into his experience as well.
Hang in there, it does get better.

 

I

I definitely tried to get through it without medication... It was unbarable. I wanted to die every day I woke up. I don't know why my brain would overreact about a sound. It's not causing me any pain. I tell myself if I knew everyone had it, it would be easier to deal with. It feels like a disease.

I was put on the meds shortly after due to the depression and anxiety from tinnitus. They threw Xanax at me, which just made me tired, and Celexa, which does nothing on it's own. Then Abilify, and I've felt better since. Just not able to enjoy stuff. I'm at a constant 5 / 10.

I'll give it more time. I would try to get off the meds but when I do, I noticed the floaters and ringing more. So it's like, pick your hell.

 

That's my biggest problem these days is the head fog. Cant concentrate, memory blows and get lost in conversations. Nothing I try helps it. Cant even enjoy reading a book. Feels like brain damage

 

@zkdr , It sucks man, I get it for sure!! The first 6-8 months are gnarly!! I call it the Danger Zone. Your brain is working to adapt to this new thing going on, and it's confusing and scary and maddening!! BUT as others have shared, with effort and desire you WILL overcome man! I did, and didn't think i was in anyway possible!!! Bail the meds when you can and when it's right. Force yourself to begin to re-engage with your life. Exercise and get your sleep on. You are close to habituation, just keep moving in that direction, and totally bail the "WHY" question!! Doesn't matter, it's wasted energy. Focus on the NOW not the past! And don't waste energy on the future, focus on NOW. Get through NOW. The rest will take care of itself. I am proof positive man!! Now go watch some TV and enjoy!!!! Best to you!!

 

That still doesn’t help the crappy concentration. I walk around in a daze and hate feeling that stupid. If I could clear my head I’d be good. I can do mind over matter with pain until it’s the mind letting me down. So until I can clear my head and focus on dealing with every day stuff and pull off a job I’m pretty much hosed. Been walking around with a 2 day old concussion for over 2 years. My friends notice but don’t understand when I explain. Just get over it and move on. I tell them to go thru life and work with a hangover every day. That’s where I’m at