Hello. Please, if you see this, take a moment to read it. I need help. I'll share my entire tinnitus story here.
I'm 20M, and it feels incredibly unfair to deal with this so early in life. I developed tinnitus at the start of April. I was an avid user of ANC headphones and listened to music a lot. I also went through a rough wisdom tooth surgery at the beginning of that month, and the tinnitus started just 5 days later.
It's been a very hard journey mentally. I have severe anxiety and ADHD, and that hasn't helped at all.
It began as a high pitched sound in my right ear. It was reactive too, especially to digital sounds. If I listened to music through ANC headphones, the tinnitus would clearly increase after a bit. I went to a GP because I tend to pick at my ears, which causes wax to build up. He examined my ears and cleaned them with a machine. The tinnitus stopped immediately after that.
But when I got home, it slowly came back. By night, it was back completely.
Over the next few weeks, it started shifting between my left and right ears. At first, it was always the same high pitched sound no matter which ear it was in. Then my left ear developed a deeper tone that wasn't reactive at all. When the tinnitus shifted to the left ear, it changed to that low tone. When it shifted to the right, it returned to the high pitched reactive one.
There were times, mostly at night, when it went very quiet or softened so much that I barely noticed it. I saw an ENT 1 month after onset. He said my ears were completely fine. He checked them thoroughly and did a hearing test, which showed perfect hearing.
Around June, it became bilateral. My left ear had the deep tone, and my right ear still had the high pitched reactive one. I also noticed that yawning or turning my head made it louder for a moment. Things were already bad, but that made everything worse. I started having panic attacks and episodes where I'd get so anxious that I'd imagine new sounds and constantly monitor them. It was pure hell.
Eventually, I got somewhat used to it. The sounds stopped changing all the time, and I accepted what many people say online. If tinnitus lasts more than 3 months, it's considered chronic. I still felt anxious, and I still had episodes, but I wasn't constantly on edge anymore.
Flying didn't help either. When the plane landed, I'd develop a strange low sound that followed me everywhere. A full night of sleep would reset it back to the usual tones.
For the last 3 months, I felt like I was slowly getting my life back. But 2 weeks ago, something new started happening. When I walk, the tinnitus "bounces." It's noticeable, and now I can't ignore it. I'd noticed it before sometimes, but it didn't bother me back then. Now that I've noticed it again, I've fallen right back into the same fear and panic I had at the beginning.
I've been tracking it for 2 weeks. It bounces when I walk. It bounces when I type. It even reacts when I move my hands or feet. I feel like everything I do reminds me of it. I feel unsafe everywhere. I'm scared of normal daily actions that most people never think about.
I'm stuck. This feels like a breaking point. I'm at my lowest since this began 7 months ago, and it's made me realize I probably need real help.
So I've got 2 questions:
I'm 20M, and it feels incredibly unfair to deal with this so early in life. I developed tinnitus at the start of April. I was an avid user of ANC headphones and listened to music a lot. I also went through a rough wisdom tooth surgery at the beginning of that month, and the tinnitus started just 5 days later.
It's been a very hard journey mentally. I have severe anxiety and ADHD, and that hasn't helped at all.
It began as a high pitched sound in my right ear. It was reactive too, especially to digital sounds. If I listened to music through ANC headphones, the tinnitus would clearly increase after a bit. I went to a GP because I tend to pick at my ears, which causes wax to build up. He examined my ears and cleaned them with a machine. The tinnitus stopped immediately after that.
But when I got home, it slowly came back. By night, it was back completely.
Over the next few weeks, it started shifting between my left and right ears. At first, it was always the same high pitched sound no matter which ear it was in. Then my left ear developed a deeper tone that wasn't reactive at all. When the tinnitus shifted to the left ear, it changed to that low tone. When it shifted to the right, it returned to the high pitched reactive one.
There were times, mostly at night, when it went very quiet or softened so much that I barely noticed it. I saw an ENT 1 month after onset. He said my ears were completely fine. He checked them thoroughly and did a hearing test, which showed perfect hearing.
Around June, it became bilateral. My left ear had the deep tone, and my right ear still had the high pitched reactive one. I also noticed that yawning or turning my head made it louder for a moment. Things were already bad, but that made everything worse. I started having panic attacks and episodes where I'd get so anxious that I'd imagine new sounds and constantly monitor them. It was pure hell.
Eventually, I got somewhat used to it. The sounds stopped changing all the time, and I accepted what many people say online. If tinnitus lasts more than 3 months, it's considered chronic. I still felt anxious, and I still had episodes, but I wasn't constantly on edge anymore.
Flying didn't help either. When the plane landed, I'd develop a strange low sound that followed me everywhere. A full night of sleep would reset it back to the usual tones.
For the last 3 months, I felt like I was slowly getting my life back. But 2 weeks ago, something new started happening. When I walk, the tinnitus "bounces." It's noticeable, and now I can't ignore it. I'd noticed it before sometimes, but it didn't bother me back then. Now that I've noticed it again, I've fallen right back into the same fear and panic I had at the beginning.
I've been tracking it for 2 weeks. It bounces when I walk. It bounces when I type. It even reacts when I move my hands or feet. I feel like everything I do reminds me of it. I feel unsafe everywhere. I'm scared of normal daily actions that most people never think about.
I'm stuck. This feels like a breaking point. I'm at my lowest since this began 7 months ago, and it's made me realize I probably need real help.
So I've got 2 questions:
- What could've caused my tinnitus? The constant ANC headphone use is probably part of it, even without hearing loss. But because it's reactive and also somatic, I wonder if anyone here has ideas.
- What can I do now?
