A Life Where I Have to Tip Toe Around Everything Does Not Feel Like a Life Worth Living

[Astreodea]

Hello, kind of depressing post. Please do not worry, I guess I just need to get it out of my system and somewhere to talk to.

Recently my tinnitus has spiked too much. It seems to have become super sensitive lately. I cannot do basic things anymore with it getting angry at me. The other day when i was doing dishes it flipped out on me, and a couple of days ago when i got home after a 20 minute drive it also got angry. I cannot listen to music using headphones anymore either.

I cannot play on my violin or piano anymore, both are acoustic so there is no volume control. I don't think anyone realises how absolutely devastating that is to me.

The other day a group of friends asked if I wanted to join them and go to a restaurant. I had to tell them no, the noise from other people would ruin my ears. Another asked if I wanted to go to the cinema together. I had to tell her no, too.

It doesn't feel like i can do anything anymore. All I can do is sit home in quietness so my tinnitus doesn't spike.

I don't want to die, i really don't. But I'm only 19 and living the rest of my life like this doesn't feel worth it at all.

 

[GregCA]

I cannot play on my violin or piano anymore, both are acoustic so there is no volume control. I don't think anyone realises how absolutely devastating that is to me.

I realize it: I have an option for you to consider. Trade your acoustic instrument for an electronic instrument (piano). It's because my drum kit is electronic that I can keep playing: I can keep the volume very reasonable.

Not being able to play music is devastating indeed for a musician.

Good luck.

 

[Bill Bauer]

But I'm only 19 and living the rest of my life like this doesn't feel worth it at all.

First of all, after a couple of years, your preferences are bound to change that this will seem normal. Second of all, if you protect your ears (ensuring that you don't get any T spikes) for 6-12 months, there is a good chance that your T will stop being that reactive.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Has your tinnitus always been reactive? I see from your profile that you have had tinnitus for twelve years. I am curious if something happened — like another ear infection, ETD or a cold — something that can improve and the reactive nature will possibly resolve or improve too.

If you have had tinnitus since you were around seven, do you have any hearing loss? Have you had your hearing tested recently? If you do have previous loss, any additional loss could be contributing.

GregCA has good advice regarding music. Have you tried earplugs at restaurants. My friends and family let me pick restaurants (we stick to quiet ones) but I bring along earplugs just in case.

Since you have had tinnitus since childhood, I would also seek an ENT and audiologist for an appointment to check if anything has changed.