A Lifetime of Tinnitus Due to a First Generation Penicillin Injectable: It's the Pits, for Sure.

[Cubist]

I first noticed my tinnitus in 1955, give or take a year. It wasn't until 1965 that I learned that I had mid-range hearing loss (I failed a military hearing test).

In 1998, I finally found out that the tinnitus was caused by the hearing loss, and that the hearing loss was caused by a first generation penicillin injectable that was used to kill ear infections in babies and toddlers around 1949 or 1950. An unknown side effect of the injectable was that it attacked the myelin on the auditory nerves and over the next few years, mid-range hearing was impaired.

When I was 18, the hearing test revealed that I was stone deaf from about 4,700 Hertz to 7,200 Hertz (left and right sides). Above and below that range, I was fine.

I now find the range of deafness widening and the tinnitus becoming increasingly loud. I experience it 24/7, and always have since early childhood.

 

[Bill Bauer]

I experience it 24/7

Is it loud? Is it a high pitch tone? Have you habituated to it?

 

[Cubist]

I've always described it as "a billion crickets chirping in the distance". I first became aware of it when I was about 8 years old (1955), laying in a field of grass with a few of my friends; someone said "Isn't it quiet? I don't hear anything." That comment received a couple of "yeah" responses, but not from me. I asked if anyone heard that high pitched whine or squeal "in the distance". Of course, no one else heard it.

It has very gradually become worse and seems to be accelerating. I'm 70 and I can't help but wonder what it will be like if I live to 80 or 90. Also, throughout life I would (and still do) get an occasional lower frequency tone in one ear (or the other ear) that is quite loud and seemingly of a very pure frequency that gradually quiets and eventually disappears (10 to 30 minutes). I estimate those to be in the vicinity of about 2 KHertz.

When I wake in the still of the night, the beast is there, but it is usually lower in amplitude. If I am in the proximity of loud noise, the beast is louder; it seems to float on noise like oil floats on water. During the course of a day, I will frequently "forget about it", but it is always there. The occasional lower frequency pure tone comes suddenly, like someone turning on a tone-generator, and it always gets my attention.

 

[Bill Bauer]

I sincerely hope that your tinnitus stops getting worse...

 

[Bill Bauer]

The cat on your avatar is unusually beautiful.

 

[Cubist]

The gap (of hearing loss) is widening, so the beast will fill the void. I'll take the tinnitus ... like I said, there are worse things. My left eye has formed a wrinkle on the retina, and due to that, I have lost the focal point in my left eye; THAT is more important to me.

That cat was Calvin, my Buddy. He was the cat who changed my mind about cats. It's a long story and I don't have the time for it tonight (I need to get to sleep ... it's 2:33 A.M. here). I got him from my daughter in January of 2000 (he was 16 months old then) and I had to put him down in 2016. He was 17 years and 10 months old, and still had all of his teeth (and they were solid and strong!). He weighed 16 to 18 lbs in his prime (as in the photo); he wasn't a Maine Coon, but he was a BIG cat! He was down to 8 and a half pounds at the end of his life, and he was ready. I wasn't. He had a great life, strictly an indoor cat (and he did have his claws), never even wanting to venture outside. He was loved and he knew it.

Later ...

 

[glynis]

@Cubist,
I have just read your story and Wandered if you have tried hearing aids to help as there are lots of different ones to try.
One can pick up sound from one side if carnt hear from it and it goes to the other ear.
Love your profile picture.
Love glynis

 

[fishbone]

Thank you, for sharing your story! Much respect to you, for what you have been through

Stay strong and be proud of yourself..for what you have accomplished in your life!

 

[Cubist]

@Cubist,
I have just read your story and Wandered if you have tried hearing aids to help as there are lots of different ones to try.
One can pick up sound from one side if carnt hear from it and it goes to the other ear.
Love your profile picture.
Love glynis

glynis -

My injury is in or on the auditory nerves themselves; no matter how strong the (amplified) signal becomes at the origin of the nerve, if the signal frequency is inside "the frequency gap", it simply can't get through the nerve itself to the brain. Newer hearing aids can CHANGE the frequency of sounds inside the gap to a frequency that is in the range that I can hear, but I would not be hearing the true, actual sound. An extreme example might be: going to a musical performance and seeing a performer play a clarinet, but hearing it as an oboe or bassoon.

If I get to the point where I cannot understand a person in private conversation, I'll go for a hearing aid. I have always had difficulty understanding a person talking to me in a room where a lot of other people had conversations going on; I could HEAR the person speaking to me, but I frequently had a great deal of difficulty UNDERSTANDING what they said. Apparently, much of our ability to differentiate the audible differences between b, c, d, e, t, v and so on occurs in the range between 4,700 Hertz and 7.200 Hertz. This is particularly applicable in areas with a lot of human chatter in the background ... one-on-one is not too difficult. I don't know how many asses I've encountered who, when I try to explain my difficulty have responded with a loud "WHAT?", imagining themselves to be witty, original, and comical; each one a perfect jackass.

The profile picture is of Calvin when he was about two years old. I had to have him put down in 2016; he almost reached 18 years! You can read more about him in my reply to Bill Bauer (?? spelling his name from memory). His was the first set of posts to my introduction (just before you!).

I had to look up Meniere's disease; never heard of it. Do you have it in one or both ears? How severe is your hearing loss and tinnitus?

peace

 

[Cubist]

Thank you, for sharing your story! Much respect to you, for what you have been through

Stay strong and be proud of yourself..for what you have accomplished in your life!

fishbone -

Thanks for the encouragement. I guess none of us have much of a choice, though, do we? The sun rises, the sun sets, and life goes on with or without us.

I choose to join in as much as I can and I know the types of situations that will pose problems for me ... I will still go to most of those events, but I know that certain difficulties may arise. Sometimes the sun rises, but we can't see it because of the clouds. Still, we go out and live our lives.

peace

 

[glynis]

Hi @Cubist ,
My hearing is 40db -50db in both ears but with a drastic drop after 6000 onwards.
I cope better now with my hearing aids and when they are in I totally can forget about it till bed time.
Im laughing and smiling all the time and so lovely to enjoy life again.
Its not been easy loosing my dad last year and mum in June but I know life must move on and adapt.
Love glynis

 

[Cubist]

Hi @Cubist ,
My hearing is 40db -50db in both ears but with a drastic drop after 6000 onwards.
I cope better now with my hearing aids and when they are in I totally can forget about it till bed time.
Im laughing and smiling all the time and so lovely to enjoy life again.
Its not been easy loosing my dad last year and mum in June but I know life must move on and adapt.
Love glynis

glynis -

I'm sorry about your parents. Losing loved ones is never, ever easy. Yes, life always moves on. It's up to each one of us to make sure that we go forward with it. That is certainly what our departed loved ones would want us to d0!!

40 to 50 db is pretty significant. Is the loss stable? The vertigo, depending on its severity, sounds like it could be very disruptive to one's daily life.

- peace

 

[glynis]

I have menieres but after 12-14 years most symptoms have gone to burn out.
My tinnitus is sever and hearing loss will drop more even go deaf.
My hearing aids really help me and when they are in I am so happy and laughing with friends and family and meds help me sleep.
I fight to stay happy as I know how it feels to come through the biggest storm and emotional turmoil to a happy place again.

 

[fishbone]

Hi @Cubist ,
My hearing is 40db -50db in both ears but with a drastic drop after 6000 onwards.
I cope better now with my hearing aids and when they are in I totally can forget about it till bed time.
Im laughing and smiling all the time and so lovely to enjoy life again.
Its not been easy loosing my dad last year and mum in June but I know life must move on and adapt.
Love glynis

I lost both parents about 4 years ago, 2 months apart. Never went to a funeral before and then I had back to back ones. My soul is still shattered and the loneliness that I feel each day is unforgiving. I was their caregiver for over 14+ years and each day still grips me. parents are special people and all that still have them, should never take them for granted.

I wish you peace and closure in your journey, to recovery from the loss. I'll tell you a story, I just remembered right now. I'd go to the cemetery and see my folks and the lady that works as a receptionist, we have become good friends and possibly more. I'd go to see her and she told me that she lost her mom. February makes it 2 years that her mom has been gone. I looked in her eyes and i saw just how sad and shattered she was. I took her hand and gently grabbed it and looked her in the eyes and said. "it's gonna be ok", "you are going to be ok".... "mom is ok and she loves you and you did a wonderful job, as a daughter". I told her that I am here for her and will wipe the tears off her face and have her smile.

She was at an awwwww. Like "wow", you are so different, like an angel and I love you. She grabbed me and held me and would not let go. She cried to me and was just attached to me and I felt attached to her. At times it almost brought me to tears, comforting her but it would have been happy tears.

Each time I see her, she runs and grabs me and we just hold each other for 10-20 minutes and she has a husband, as well

I hope you find closure. I try to make a difference in lives all over, wether it's with homeless people....they hug me. Lady at the funeral home..she hugs me....or even if it's on TT...you people hug me

Always give back in life and make someone feel special..it goes a long way.

 

[marc 1974 london]

I lost both parents about 4 years ago, 2 months apart. Never went to a funeral before and then I had back to back ones. My soul is still shattered and the loneliness that I feel each day is unforgiving. I was their caregiver for over 14+ years and each day still grips me. parents are special people and all that still have them, should never take them for granted.

I wish you peace and closure in your journey, to recovery from the loss. I'll tell you a story, I just remembered right now. I'd go to the cemetery and see my folks and the lady that works as a receptionist, we have become good friends and possibly more. I'd go to see her and she told me that she lost her mom. February makes it 2 years that her mom has been gone. I looked in her eyes and i saw just how sad and shattered she was. I took her hand and gently grabbed it and looked her in the eyes and said. "it's gonna be ok", "you are going to be ok".... "mom is ok and she loves you and you did a wonderful job, as a daughter". I told her that I am here for her and will wipe the tears off her face and have her smile.

She was at an awwwww. Like "wow", you are so different, like an angel and I love you. She grabbed me and held me and would not let go. She cried to me and was just attached to me and I felt attached to her. At times it almost brought me to tears, comforting her but it would have been happy tears.

Each time I see her, she runs and grabs me and we just hold each other for 10-20 minutes and she has a husband, as well

I hope you find closure. I try to make a difference in lives all over, wether it's with homeless people....they hug me. Lady at the funeral home..she hugs me....or even if it's on TT...you people hug me

Always give back in life and make someone feel special..it goes a long way.

lovely...wish i hadn't read that at work though that was an emotional read ...i'm 1 year yesterday my dad tried to take his own, then succeeded, i feel your pain.

 

[glynis]

@fishbone ,
I love reading your posts and lovely read your story.
Our parents are in our hearts always and I know they are sending love from above looking down on us .
Love glynis x