Okay, so I have somewhat of a mild bipolar issue. Never been manic but I can swing from very depressed to a somewhat "hypomanic" state. Anyways, took a CNS depressant for a long time and remained in a tranquilized state with bouts of bad depression because of T. If it was not for the T, the CNS depressant would mostly smooth my emotions out except for the side effect of being somewhat tranquilized which is not good (don't ruin your lives like that, please). Anyways, during taking the depressant, I kept focusing on T. Finally, after a long time, I found a way to cut my CNS depressant in half, add a mood stabilizer and feel normal for a while. Got off track later though when I messed up my regimen (stopped taking a supplement - very stupid in hindsight) and then started swinging from normal to days of depression.
This week, I lowered my depressant more (because it can sometimes increase my T volume) and then I switched to what a doctor would probably call a "mixed state" where I don't give a crap about T at all but I don't feel normal. I am now thinking about a certain goal and am extremely restless about it. Need less sleep, not enjoying the things I used to and if someone comes in my way of achieving it, like my friend did this afternoon, I can get very upset inside (keeping it inside me though). I thought, maybe it's time to end the friendship. In my mind, I know it its my emotions but its hard to tell what the right thing to do at the moment, or maybe I was tranquilized in the past all this time and now that I am not, I should be strong and act, regardless of the consequences.
I do not want to get into it, but this "goal" is something I have wanted to do for a while but have not been able to consistently be well enough to achieve it. My friend and I have different points of view on it, and there is two very different but valid ways of looking at it. Well anyways, I took my CNS depressant and then I calmed down about things but I need to figure out how to stop obsessing over things or I will just need to take another one. If I take too many, I might end up depressed about T but maybe not. Who knows?
I do know though, it is absolutely amazing how hormones or brain chemicals or whatever it is can affect my thinking and certain actions. If I went to the doctor, they would probably give me Depakote or the doctor would tell me to take Neurontin or take more Klonopin). These probably would work but unfortunately, they affect my tinnitus. I'm looking for a non-drug way to reduce the obsessive thinking. Either when depressed or mixed-state (not a problem when hypomanic - which is very rare for me- or when I am "normal". By the way, SSRI's won't help so don't bring that up please.
Also, interestingly enough when I was only on the CNS depressant with low tinnitus, I was more stable but one of the side effects was I was tranquilized and therefore comfortable with stupid logic. My idea was that if I had no goals, I wouldn't get upset about not achieving them. It seems true in one way but it is not. It's b.s. because it is no way to live and I'm having consequences now for not setting goals. If you take tranquilizers or depressants guys, just be careful with them.
Thanks for any help.
This week, I lowered my depressant more (because it can sometimes increase my T volume) and then I switched to what a doctor would probably call a "mixed state" where I don't give a crap about T at all but I don't feel normal. I am now thinking about a certain goal and am extremely restless about it. Need less sleep, not enjoying the things I used to and if someone comes in my way of achieving it, like my friend did this afternoon, I can get very upset inside (keeping it inside me though). I thought, maybe it's time to end the friendship. In my mind, I know it its my emotions but its hard to tell what the right thing to do at the moment, or maybe I was tranquilized in the past all this time and now that I am not, I should be strong and act, regardless of the consequences.
I do not want to get into it, but this "goal" is something I have wanted to do for a while but have not been able to consistently be well enough to achieve it. My friend and I have different points of view on it, and there is two very different but valid ways of looking at it. Well anyways, I took my CNS depressant and then I calmed down about things but I need to figure out how to stop obsessing over things or I will just need to take another one. If I take too many, I might end up depressed about T but maybe not. Who knows?
I do know though, it is absolutely amazing how hormones or brain chemicals or whatever it is can affect my thinking and certain actions. If I went to the doctor, they would probably give me Depakote or the doctor would tell me to take Neurontin or take more Klonopin). These probably would work but unfortunately, they affect my tinnitus. I'm looking for a non-drug way to reduce the obsessive thinking. Either when depressed or mixed-state (not a problem when hypomanic - which is very rare for me- or when I am "normal". By the way, SSRI's won't help so don't bring that up please.
Also, interestingly enough when I was only on the CNS depressant with low tinnitus, I was more stable but one of the side effects was I was tranquilized and therefore comfortable with stupid logic. My idea was that if I had no goals, I wouldn't get upset about not achieving them. It seems true in one way but it is not. It's b.s. because it is no way to live and I'm having consequences now for not setting goals. If you take tranquilizers or depressants guys, just be careful with them.
Thanks for any help.
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