Can't Seem to Readjust. Help.

Ladies and gents,
some of you may recall from my post a month ago (or so) that I've had a new onset after 4 years of total silence.
Problem is, this time around I'm freaking out. The T is low, but the thought of it being back drives me mad. Doing counseling and taking antidepressant meds (jury is still out if they help or not.) Seen a few ENT docs, all say it could just go back whence it came. One audiogram showed a very slight hearing loss, another did not (according to audiometrist.) I have TMJ. I seem to have neck issues. Most of the day I can almost function, but honestly, all I can think about is "my old friend, here we go again" and I can't bear it. I just can't.
I try to stay away from t-related sites but I can't. I can't.
How did I do it last time? I don't think I deserve this. Sorry if I'm not making sense.

 

@Pietro Baraldi Sorry to hear that. Relapses are horrible - I think almost everyone on here knows what it's like. It feels so unfair that having gone through habituation once you have to do it again. The advice "hang in there, it will get better" still holds true, and if you've managed to get to total silence before, I'd say your chances of getting back there again are very good indeed.

 

Sorry about your struggle with the new T spike. Have you or your doctors identified the cause of the spike? Is it TMJ? If so, perhaps treatment of TMJ may help reduce the T. But living with T requires to be patient and as positive as possible. After all it is a mild T. So take it as a positive. Stress and negative self talks can only add to more anxiety and bad reaction to T which feeds more fuel for T to keep up the volume. Perhaps try masking your T so you won't be so stressful.