Can't Tell If I'm Going Insane, Imagining, or Going Deaf

Constant chronic tinnitus of 8000hz was one thing, but now, not being able to listen to headphones and escape from it all is the issue i'm faced with. I no longer can hear as well in my right ear (or atleast, thats what im telling myself) When i try to listen to music, I now notice that everything feels panned to the left. I can't deal with this if I can't escape and listen to music, Its just impossible. What do I do now? I've had a hearing test but it wasn't too helpful, aparently I have "normal" hearing but I also have slight hearing damage? and theres a 'dip' in my right ear? Why are doctors so fucking shitty at describing a simple hearing test to me. I spend a good 5 hours a day testing different headphones/earbuds one at a time, left ear, right ear, adjusting balance to try to make sure that I'm not going deaf in my right ear. But at the end of the day it feels like I am. At my wits end. I wish I could just flick a switch and remove myself from this damn planet.

 

i feel your pain. i am trying to find someone on this forum that is going through some of the same issues that i am going through. so far, you're the only thread i have come across. i have tinnitus in my left ear. when i plug my right ear, i cannot hear what anyone around me is saying.

my tinnitus started out as answering the phone [holding the phone up to my left ear] and it sounded like my grandmother had sucked on a bunch of helium. that is when i knew something was wrong, because i when i switched the phone over to my right ear, i could hear her normal voice perfectly fine.

ever since then, i have had tinnitus 24/7 for 23 months now.

i don't have any issues with thinking things are panned to the right or left though. unless i'm just not noticing it. but i'm fairly sure that would be something i could notice.

best of luck to you.

 

Try writing a poem about it.
Additionally, what was your first happy moment today?

 

That's a beautiful idea, I've thought about it as well poetry would really help describe what this is all like but in a creative way

 

It is unfair and unacceptable that so many doctors are incompetent and very poor at communication. It is usually not just a lack of communications skills. Many of them are simply poorly trained, unmotivated and never get punished for giving poor care. I feel you.
You should ask for a copy of your audiogram. It will show you at what threshold your left and righ ear can hear at different frequencies. Look up audiograms online and you will be able to easily understand what yours means. The mostly normal hearing is very good news for you. You should feel relieved that you probably don't have an underlying condition that is affecting your hearing. My first audiogram was also normal but subsequent recent ones suggest i'm losing hearing. Go to a free audiogram screening at costco or sams club in a couple of weeks to give yourself some assurance that your hearing is still sound. I also feel like my Tinnitus blocks out sounds in my affected ear even though the audigram suggests only mild hearing loss. Its just perception. Try to relax and just accept the ringing by not diverting it with other sounds but with ACTIVITIES.

 

Have you had a hearing test? Seen a doctor? I haven't looked at any of your historical posts but strongly encourage you to at least get a hearing test and then seek further help if your hearing is compromised, especially if its in only one ear!!! Good luck to you

 

When i ask questions to my ENT, he always respond very clearly.

When i told him about how some people are badly informee about their hearing and T, he said that people with hearing problems and especially T are cery often totally panicked and have tendencies tointerpret everything as disastrous.
So he admitted he can be
That he give short but clear information instead of lots of explanations which can be misunderstood. It's what he did with me in the beginning and i can understand that. You should calm yoursel and ask precise questions.

 

OP, do you consider yourself to be a perfectionist? The reason that I ask is that I have a good friend who went almost completely deaf on one side after a friend of his boxed his ears while roughhousing, and I doubt if he's ever taken the time to mess with headphones to understand where his deficit is.

I am a perfectionist too, at least as far as sensory issues go, and I think that causes me no end to suffering with tinnitus -- I have some other friends who seem to have the same volume of tinnitus I do who say they "barely ever think about it" -- because they are prone, by personality, to just say "fuck it, I'm alive, what's for dinner?"

 

This thread is from Jan. 2014!

 

whoops

 

This is going to be my new Mantra!